Online Parent Support Chat

I resent my own daughter, what should I do?

My daughter was a result of an unplanned pregnancy. When I got pregnant with her, I had plans to go to medical school and I did not want a child at the time. In fact, I never wanted to have children. However, the night before I was scheduled to have an abortion, my mother found out I was pregnant. I was living with my parents at the time. Being that they were very strict Catholics, they did not allow me to get an abortion. Consequently, I had to marry my husband, have my daughter, and give up my dreams. My daughter, now 27, does not want to move out, she is unemployed and looking to get her MBA. She is also very pretty and popular. In fact, I had to support her most of her life. I did it because I felt I had a responsibility towards her. However, I resent her alot because I had to give up my life and dreams for her. Sometimes I hate her and want to kill her. I am also very jealous of her because she has what I do not have.

I wish my daughter would leave and have to struggle the way I did while I supported her. She is very annoying and all she ever talks about is how she is going to get an MBA, get married to Mr Right and have kids. I was not able to complete my education because of her being born. I was forced to have her because my parents were very strict Catholics and did not believe in abortion. I was forced to marry her dad and I am so happy he dropped dead. I wish I could just get rid of my daughter and be free. I wish that she would have to suffer because I had to for her.

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Help Please My 15 year old step daughter got a tattoo today her dad ok'd this?

It has DAD written in the middle of it. My question is is this weird? She does have issues with other people being around her dad. She is very jealous of other people. If her cousin comes over and they want to go help her dad do something she is MAD she gets all I would help but you have your favorite helping. The other day she asked him if she could help make breakfast and he said he was done she got mad and said that if she was her cousin that he would let her help then. Her cousins dad is a diabetic and my husband will go pick him up and take him to play football and things. Help please I just don't know what to do.

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Step daughter?

I have three step children and a baby with my current husband. Two of my step children are great kids, they obey, do their homework etc. But the youngest one (they are triplets) is quite a handfull. Her siblings told me that she is choking herself in the bathroom some with a towel at night . They also told me she cries most nights, and has had talk of suicide. She often has big bruises on her wrists when asked about it she replies that she doesnt know.

I found porn in her room, and a razor blade. My husband travels a lot. And I have no idea what to do, I am new at parenting. She is 16. Any advice?

thanks

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How do you know if your 15 year old boy is using drugs?

He's smart but doesn't care about his grades? Last year he was an almost straight A student. Now, all he wants to do is play computer games and stay in his room. He isn't "ditching" school, he's respectful to his teachers but he just doesn't do his assignments. His parents are divorced and he lives with his Dad. His mother is remarried and treats him badly - that's why he doesn't spend the court ordered weekends with her. His Dad is a good provider and is frustrated with the school problems.

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Moms and Dads, what is a good family dog?

We would love to have a dog for our kids. My oldest is 2 and my youngest....well she has yet to make her arrival :) We would love a larger breed (not too big though). What is your experience with dogs and what would you recommend as a good family dog as well as a trainable watch dog and protective of our children?

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Do you think you should go w/o money to give a 14 yr old....?

Do you think you should go w/o money to give a 14 yr old the following for a birthday: An ipod touch cost from $300-400, plus $100 extra, an expensive restaurant meal, and cake and plus go somewhere to do something (that costs money)? Do you think that a 14 yr old needs all those things. It is terrible how they can make you feel guilty and feel as though you have to go in debt to buy them things, because their friends have them and they want them. Oh, plus a fancy Cell Phone. My fiance and I worked things out & now I am staying with him. He is doing that for his kid, but he thinks I shouldn't buy my son a $15 toy. He feels guilty if he doesn't do this. He does not have the money to do it. I will hear it later that he is broke and can't pay the bills and it is my fault. That is what usually happens. He doesn't really want to do all that, but he is going to because of guilt. His kids sibling paid for all of her expensive things theirself when they got a job.

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What is the process for CPS investigations and is this rumor true?

My neighbor who lives in the same townhome unit had CPS called on them because their neighbor on the opposite end said they heard a child screaming. My question is I thought CPS only investigates based on 'serious' issues, this sounds more like something to do with a domestic issue that would involve the military police (we live on a military base). I just wondered because I know for a fact that this neighbor is a really good parent to his kids and really don't believe anything abusive happened.

I am also concerned because I am at home with my two babies all the time and afraid now. Could someone really report to CPS about me just because my kid has a temper tantrum and the walls are thin? Scary thought indeed but logic tells me that there was much more to that story, perhaps the neighbor saw him leave the child unattended a few times or something much more severe... Just wondered because it doesn't add up to me.

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I hope they are healing tears...

Okay finally he is opening up to me Messy though, he is my grandson and has lived
with me for 16 years, he just turned 17 So what he is feeling is that he can no longer trust his mom, that as soon as things start getting better for her, she will turn her back on him again, and the dad has never been there at all, so thats no option, I validated his pain, yes he is feeling pain, and his feelings, while trying to get him to see if his mom has changed , and at least see her to get his birthday presents, but he will not, says he cannot be hurt anymore. A lot of this explains the acting up,numbing with pot,etc and they changed all his shifts around at work to , so he had a bad day yesterday as well Right now he is downstairs crying, and I am glad he talked to me , but it is upsetting to see him in tears, I hope they are healing tears, he says he is trying to hang around with nicer friends, thats why he has so few now, compared to last year, He is either very good at faking emotions and getting to me, or he is in real pain and I dont know what to do to help him, he refuses to see a counsellor right now, does not want to talk about it , says he just wants to try and be happy I am not! sure if the meds are working, he's been on them a month now I know i am rambling here , just clearing my thoughts a bit I guess, I do not have anyone to talk to about this, my boyfriend left in Oct, again someone who has been there for a long time leaving him I am following the program and working on communication with him right now, plus trying to boost his self esteem, I am thinking he must feel terrible any ideas will help

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Teens fighting on tape?

I saw it on the today show this morning but I think it was an older story. I kinda have mixed feelings about it because I don't think the girl should have gone into the house, but still...something about that situation don't sit right with me. If your child was involved in a situation like that, what would you do?

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How to get my son to come home...

i'm trying to figure out how to get my son to come home by his probational curfew which is 10pm, we get in constant arguments over this which he ignores and comes home around midnight. he is 17 years old. thanks.

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It's not always about changing the child's behavior?

It's not always about changing the child's behavior? I see so many questions on here about how someone's child is doing this or that and how to punish it, or how to change their behavior.

Don't parents realize that sometimes it's not about punishing the child? Don't parents realize that sometimes they need to change their own behavior in order to change the child's?

Most behavior happens for a reason, wouldn't it be better, as a parent, to figure out WHY the child is acting a certain way and then make adjustments? For example sometimes kids act out for attention like when a new baby is born. I see many parents come on and want to know how to punish the behavior. How about spending more one on one time with the child so they won't crave attention? That's just an example but there are many times when a parent can change their child's unwanted behavior by changing their own.

There are also times when a parent can change a child's unwanted reaction (temper tantrum for example) by changing how they approach a situation they know might cause a tantrum. So my question is, why do so many parents focus on changing their child's behavior once it happens with punishment and overlook the fact that they could change it by changing their own behavior, or even prevent it by changing their own approach, etc...? So many parents just try one punishment after the other and can't figure out why nothing is working....possibly they need to look into their own ways for the answer. As a parent do you try and look deeper into your child's behavior for answers to why they might be acting that way and then fix the underlining problem or do you tend to look focus on how to punish unwanted behavior once it happens? Of course punishment is necessary sometimes, obviously I'm not saying disregard punishment.

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