tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post1416694594903981263..comments2018-08-17T05:33:02.180-07:00Comments on Online Parent Support: A Community of Parents Supporting One Another: Police are called weekly...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-10984984567864281192009-10-30T08:00:33.133-07:002009-10-30T08:00:33.133-07:00I find that when parents continue to experience di...I find that when parents continue to experience difficulties after 4 weeks, they have missed a couple important pieces.<br /><br />Let's trouble shoot...<br /><br />Below is a summary of all the assignments I gave you in the eBook. If parents do not implement most of these assignments, it is often the "kiss of failure."<br /><br />For example, the transmission in your car has hundreds of parts, but if just one little tiny part is not working -- the whole transmission does not work. The same is true with this "parent program." Omit just one strategy, and the whole plan runs the risk of failing.<br /><br /><br />Check List--<br /><br /><br />Referring to the Online Version of the eBook:<br /><br /> 1. Are you asking your son at least one question each day that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or a "no" to demonstrate that you are interested in what is going on in his life?<br /> 2. Are you saying to him "I love you" everyday and expecting nothing in return?<br /> 3. Are you eating dinner together at least one evening each week -- either at home or out?<br /> 4. Are you using the Fair Fighting technique as needed?<br /> 5. Do you use "The Art of Saying Yes" whenever your answer is yes?<br /> 6. Do you use "The Art of Saying No" whenever your answer is no?<br /> 7. Do you catch him in the act of doing something right at least once each day?<br /> 8. Do you use the "When You Want Something From Your Kid" approach as needed?<br /> 9. Are you using “The Six-Step Approach” when something unexpected pops-up?<br /> 10. Do you give him at least one chore each day?<br /> 11. Do you find something fun to do with him each week?<br /> 12. When you are undecided about what to say or do in any particular situation, are you asking yourself the following question: "Will this promote the development of self-reliance in my son, or will this inhibit the development of self-reliance?" If it is supportive of self-reliance, say it or do it. If it is not supportive, don't!<br /> 13. Is he EARNING ALL of his stuff and freedom? (see "Self-Reliance Cycle")?<br /> 14. Have you watched ALL the videos in the Online Version of the eBook?<br /> 15. Are you putting on your best poker face when “things are going wrong?”<br /> 16. And perhaps most importantly, are you doing things to take care of your mental and physical health?<br /><br />If you answered "no" to any of the above, you are missing some important pieces to the puzzle. Most parents DO miss a few pieces initially -- you can't be expected to remember everything! But don't get frustrated and give up. We must be willing to hang in there for the long haul.<br /><br />I'm talking about refinement here. Refinement is a necessary tool to use in order to truly be successful with these parenting strategies.<br /><br />HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS: Parents who refine are, on average, 95% - 100% successful at getting the parent-child difficulties reduced in intensity and severity (i.e., the problems are easily managed).<br /><br />The same can be true in your case. Refinement is a process, not a one-time event.Markhttp://www.myoutofcontrolteen.comnoreply@blogger.com