tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12102892727128470602024-02-20T03:41:55.912-08:00Online Parent Support: A Community of Parents Supporting One AnotherUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger420125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-44568539173554554822017-02-16T06:39:00.003-08:002017-02-16T06:39:20.467-08:00My 17 year old who is diagnosed ADHD and Oppositional defiant disorder...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>RE: "Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support = </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I need help with the following issue: My 17 year old who is diagnosed ADHD and Oppositional defiant disorder is not following house rules. We have been following your program. I work in mental health/addictions for adults so I have an educational background as well. Mt son is not coming home when expected too, just recently back in school (6 days) from a lengthy suspension, and is back to skipping. I am at a loss what to do with him... As well as doesn't follow thru coming home when expected. If I ground hi8m he just tells me he is 17 and he can do what he wants. Didn't come home last night."</i><br />
<br />
Please email Mark Hutten, M.A. so he can respond to you personally: <b>mbhutten@gmail.com</b></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-58296229280828149362017-01-06T06:48:00.003-08:002017-01-06T06:48:59.649-08:00Working the Program!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>RE: <a href="mailto:Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com">Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com</a>/support
= I need help with the following issue: things have got much worse. My
17 year old signed the contract we drew up which included re no drinking
for a month which would be reassessed end of January. She has however
drank alcohol since then so I grounded her for 3 days again. She left
the house the first day of grounding so I did what was suggested and
moved grounding to Friday night to monday morning when I am not at work.
I had a talk last night with her and she now says she is not going to
follow the contract around drinking. She got very drunk twice once in
oct and once in Nov. So I was very concerned. She says I have made up
in my head that she has a drinking problem. I'm saying I just want to
monitor it for a month to assess the situation. She says I am doing more
damage to her than alcohol. I don't care. I didn't comfort her when she
cried when she was grounded. She can't eat. She can't sleep. She
knows what's best for her and will do what she thinks is right and fight
for that. She phoned her dad yesterday and asked if she could move in
with a friend (she had already asked them) because she lives in fear at
home . At this stage I would have usually backed off, but I will
continue with the grounding. I have also cut her phone and the
Internet. There is a treatment facility nearby for adolescents. She has
9 months left of school. I don't know what to do anymore. I am being
accused of being controlling and insane.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Answer:</b><br />
<br />
Let’s troubleshoot…<br /><br />I find that when parents continue to struggle – even after they have completed the 4-week OPS program – it is nearly always the case that the parent has neglected some of his/her strategies. The method discussed in my eBook consists of a ‘set of strategies’ that must be used ‘in combination’ with one another. If any part of the method is overlooked, the entire system often fails.<br /><br />Consider all the individual components in the transmission of your car. If just one tiny part (e.g., a check ball or a little spring) is lose or broken, the entire transmission stops working. The same is true with these parenting strategies. <br /><br />Let me provide you with a check-list of sorts (although this list is not all inclusive). If you answer “no” to any of these statements, you may have discovered a potential problem in your parenting transmission:<br /><br />1. After issuing a consequence, I never retract it.<br /><br />2. I allow my out-of-control child to make wrong choices, which gives him wisdom; experience is a great teacher.<br /><br />3. I am able to differentiate between my child’s wants and her/his needs.<br /><br />4. I don’t nag – I simply follow through with the consequence.<br /><br />5. I don’t try to save my child from negative consequences and painful emotions associated with poor choices.<br /><br />6. I expect my out-of-control child to resist my new parenting strategies.<br /><br />7. I give equal love to all my children, but parent them differently.<br /><br />8. I give only one warning -- then I follow through with the consequence.<br /><br />9. I give my child at least five chores to do each week.<br /><br />10. When I slip into a rage against my child, I apologize, but I don’t try to compensate by over-indulging him/her.<br /><br />11. I keep an eye out for my child’s guilt-trips.<br /><br />12. I know that a weaker parenting-strategy supported by both parents is better than a stronger strategy supported by only one, and I adjust accordingly.<br /><br />13. I have learned to say “no”-- and to stick with “no” when it is my answer.<br /><br />14. I only give my child gifts on birthdays, Christmas and graduation.<br /><br />15. I understand that over-indulged children are too comfortable and that they need some discomfort before they will change.<br /><br />16. I understand that parenting is not a popularity contest – I am not a "buddy"!<br /><br />17. I respond to my child’s anger with a poker face.<br /><br />18. When taking away privileges, I take away the privilege for a short period (3 days works best; if it lasts too long, resentment builds, my child forgets the infraction, and the lesson is lost).<br /><br />19. When I catch myself feeling sorry for my child, I know it is a sign that I am – once again – taking on too much responsibility.<br /><br />20. When my child needs to be cheered-up, I do so with active listening, empathy, paraphrasing, validation, and hugs rather than giving her/him stuff or freedom (e.g., unearned privileges, food, gifts, fun activities, etc.).<br /><br />21. I do not dabble with these non-traditional parenting strategies – I am consistent!<br /><br />22. I regularly use “The Art of Saying Yes” when my answer is yes.<br /><br />23. I regularly use “The Art of Saying No” when my answer is no.<br /><br />24. I regularly use the strategy “When You Want Something from Your Child” whenever I want my child to do as requested.<br /><br />25. I regularly use “The Six Step Approach” when something unexpected pops-up.<br /><br />26. I use the “deal-with-it-later” file when problems begin to pile up.<br /><br />27. I use the “Fair Fighting” strategy when conflict arises.<br /><br />28. When I am undecided about what to say or do in any particular situation, I always ask myself the following question: “Will this action that I'm about to take promote the development of self-reliance in my child, or will it inhibit the development of self-reliance?” (If what you are about to say or do is supportive of self-reliance, then say it or do it. If it is not supportive, don’t!)<br /><br />29. I avoid power struggles at all cost.<br /><br />The above items are the “core” principles discussed in the online text and videos. Do a quick tune-up on your parenting transmission, and your child’s behavior should become very manageable. I see it work for others time-and-time again. The same can be true for you!<br /><br />Mark</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-73173424096667259672017-01-03T06:45:00.000-08:002017-01-03T06:45:16.366-08:00Alcohol Use<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>RE: I need help with the following issue: I know my 17 year old smokes cigarettes. As I am trying to enforce a no alcohol rule (after some drunken incidents) I thought I would let the cigarettes slide as she has gone out a few times and not drank as agreed. I set the rule that there would be no smoking in the bedroom but in the yard. This rule is being broken and I've just taken away the cigarettes. Is this enough ?</i><br />
<br />
<b>Answer:</b><br />
<br />
Pleas refer here for recommendations:<br />
<br />
==> <a href="http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2006/11/caught-smoking.html">http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2006/11/caught-smoking.html</a><br />
<br />
==> <a href="http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2013/03/preventing-alcohol-abuse-in-teens.html">http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2013/03/preventing-alcohol-abuse-in-teens.html</a><br />
<br />
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-75434356116506959492017-01-03T06:41:00.005-08:002017-01-03T06:41:59.076-08:00Chore Problems<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>RE: I need help with the following issue: I have instigated the chores in order for my daughter to earn her pocket money. She often eats out at restaurants with friends. I asked her this morning to hang up some washing in return for restaurant lunch money she has asked for. She is saying she shouldn't do chores for food and I am saying a restaurant meal is a privaledge that requires a chore. She says that she will do the required chore today because she's on school holiday but in future she won't have time because of school work. This sounds like bulldust. She says the bulk of her pocket money is going on food i.e. meals and I should be contributing to this for free. should I contributing ? There is food at home.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Answer:</b><br />
<br />
Please refer here for recommendations: <a href="http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2011/06/teens-and-chore-refusal.html">http://www.onlineparentingcoach.com/2011/06/teens-and-chore-refusal.html</a><br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-38979310990455271942016-12-31T06:38:00.002-08:002016-12-31T06:38:43.911-08:00Can I dictate when the chore gets done ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support = I need help with the following issue: I have instigated my teenager doing chores for pocket money (which used to be given for free). Can I dictate when the chore gets done ? 3 hours feels a long time to wait for dishes to be done after dinner.<br />
<br />
<br />
Answer:<br />
<br />
Yes. One hour seems more plausible. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-84646395293172495132015-06-16T10:12:00.000-07:002015-06-16T10:16:14.843-07:00Can anyone suggest something that kids with Asperger tend to like ?Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support = I need help with the following issue: My 4 years old son is acting like a child with mild Asperger, we are in the process of getting him diagnost. I'm looking for a hobby, after school class etc. something for him to be good at, something he will enjoy. Can anyone suggest something that kids with Asperger tend to like ?<br />
<br />
<b>Answer</b><br />
<br />
Your son probably already has a special interest. It would be best to capitalize on it. For example, if he is fascinated with trains, you can create a hobby around that, such as creating a scape book on the history of trains.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-64945246362760716302014-12-26T06:05:00.000-08:002014-12-26T06:05:11.251-08:0014 year old son has ADHD and ODD and is completely addicted to online gaming...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support = I need help with the following issue: My 14 year old son has ADHD and ODD and is completely addicted to online gaming. He is in trouble a lot at school and has poor grades. He is disrespectful and horrible most of the time. He stays up very late and is sleeping through the day (is school holiday time now) and will not participate in any family events (even Christmas). Any advice for how to help him with this? thanks Tracey<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Answer:</b><br /><br />Online gaming is a very popular obsession. However, don’t completely forbid your son to engage in this obsession. His use of the computer can be a great bargaining chip for you (i.e., he won’t work for what you want, but he will work for what he wants – and he wants to play computer games).<br /><br />Breaking an obsession is like running a war campaign. If not planned wisely, or if you attempt to fight on many fronts, you're guaranteed to fail. The real issue here is the fact that your son spent too much time playing games, which resulted in poor academic performance. This resulted in a second issue, namely, his behavior took a turn for the worse after you took his computer away. Thus, he should be able to play video games, but within limits.<br /><br />To make his games less seductive, find ways to minimize your son's downtime at home, especially those times when he is alone. Maybe he would be interested in arts and crafts, theater, martial arts, bowling, swimming, or movie-making. Maybe a social-skills group would be a good idea. Maybe he could join a youth group at your church or synagogue. Help your son find some activity that he likes and a place where he can do it. <br /><br />Teens often lack the "internal controls" needed to regulate how much time they spend playing computer games. It's up to moms and dads to rein-in the use of the games. The first step is often the hardest. Both parents must agree on a set of rules:<br />
<br />• How much time may be spent on a weekend day?<br />• How much time may be spent playing the games on school nights?<br />• If the child plays Internet-based games, which sites are acceptable?<br />• Must chores be done first?<br />• Must homework be done first?<br />• Which games are taboo, and which are O.K.?<br /><br />Once parents agree, sit down with your son and discuss the rules. Make it clear which rules are negotiable and which are not. Then announce that the rules start right now. Be sure you can enforce the rules (e.g., if your child is allowed to spend 30 minutes at computer games on school nights - and only after homework and chores are done - the game and game controls must be physically unavailable when he gets home from school). If games involve a computer or a television set, find a way to secure the system until its use is permitted. When the 30 minutes of playing are up, retake the controls. If he balks, he loses the privilege to play the game the following day. If you come into his bedroom and find him playing the game under the covers, he might lose the privilege for several days. <br /><br />Give warning times: "You have 15 more minutes... You now have 10 minutes... There are only five minutes left." A timer that is visible to your son can be helpful. When the buzzer rings, say, "I know you need to reach a point where you can save the game. If you need a few more minutes, I will wait here and let you have them." If he continues to play despite your step-by-step warnings, do not shout or grab the game or disconnect the power. Calmly remind him of the rules, and then announce that for each minute he continues to play, one minute will be subtracted from the time allowed the next day (or days). Once you get the game back, lock it up. When he finally regains the privilege to play, you can say, "Would you like to try again to follow the family rules?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-34180849880590423562014-12-14T06:00:00.002-08:002014-12-14T06:00:55.184-08:00For those who have been working the program for awhile...<b>Question:</b> Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support = I need help with the following issue: For those who have been working the program for awhile . . . what advice can you give someone who's just starting? What is one or two things that really help you be consistent?<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Answer: </b>Just work one session per week. That makes things feel less overwhelming. Then, email Mark after you complete the program for support and added advice over the subsequent months.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-41320898176021902442014-01-13T16:53:00.000-08:002014-01-13T16:53:01.898-08:00RE: 14 year old very defiant and angry...<b>Question:</b><br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue: 14 year old very defiant and angry. Argues constantly. Found out recently he's been doing cannabis. Big clampdown. Think he's stopped. Now kicking off about school. Sleep problems etc. taken away electronics. Refusal to go to school except part time.<br />
<br />
<b>Answer:</b><br />
<br />
<i>RE: defiant and angry</i><br />
<br />
Consequences may be used to discourage unacceptable behavior of defiant teenagers. Usually this will occur after other techniques have been tried unsuccessfully with the defiant teens. Consequences should not be confused with punishment; nor should they ever be given in anger. They should be applied consistently. That means that the behavior consequented today, will again be consequented next week. Also, behavior consequented for one youth will not be allowed for others. This consistency lowers anxiety by making the environment predictable.<br />
<br />
<i>RE: cannabis</i><br />
<br />
Please refer to session #4 in the online version of the eBook.<br />
<br />
<i>RE: school refusal</i><br />
<br />
Parents can do several things to help their child who refuses to attend school:<br /><br />· Firmly getting the child to school regularly and on time will help (see “When You Want Something From Your Kid” – Session #3). Not prolonging the goodbyes can help as well. Sometimes it works best if someone else can take the child to school after the parent or caregiver says goodbye at home.<br /><br />· It truly helps to believe that the child will get over this problem; discuss this with the child (the parent or caregiver needs to convince himself or herself of this before trying to convince the child).<br /><br />· Listening to the child's actual concerns and fears of going to school is important. Some of the reasons for refusing to attend school may include another child at school who is a bully, problems on the bus or carpool ride to school, or fears of inability to keep up with the other students in the classroom; these issues can be addressed if they are known. On the other hand, making too big a deal of school refusal may promote the child's behavior to continue.<br /><br />· Supportive counseling is often made available at school in these circumstances so as to minimize reinforcement of school avoidant behaviors and to prevent secondary gain from school refusal and should be encouraged for any student who wishes to have it. If the child simply refuses to go to school, some parents have found that decreasing the reward for staying home helps, for example, do not allow video games or television, or find out what work is being done in the school and provide similar education at home, when possible. This is especially if the "illness" seems to disappear once the child is allowed to stay at home.<br /><br />· The parent or caregiver should reassure the child that he or she will be there upon the child's return from school; this should be repeated over and over, if necessary. Let the child know that the parent or caregiver will be doing "boring stuff" at home during the school day. Always be on time to pick the child up from school if you provide transportation rather than a school bus.<br /><br />· Whenever events occur that could tend to cause students to miss school (for example, traumatic events such as terrorism, school shootings, or other traumas) all attempts should be made to help students return promptly to school and to help them to feel safe at school.<br /><br />In addition to parental intervention, teachers and school staff should help the student identify and recognize the triggers for school refusal.<br /><br />Many children with school refusal have an earlier history of separation anxiety, social anxiety, or depression. Undiagnosed learning disabilities or reading disorders may also play a significant role in the development of school refusal.<br /><br />Signs of a psychiatric disorder called separation anxiety disorder can include the following:<br /><br />· Excessive reluctance to be alone at any time<br />· Excessive worry about losing a parent; excessive worry that a parent might be harmed<br />· Persistent refusal to go to sleep without a parent or other caretaker present<br />· Repeated complaints of physical symptoms whenever the child is about to leave a significant parental figure<br />· School refusal<br /><br />These behaviors must begin before the child is aged 18 years, must last for 4 weeks or longer, and must cause serious problems with academic, social, or other functioning in order to be called a disorder.<br /><br />Some commonly cited reasons for refusal to attend school include the following:<br /><br />· A death in the family of a friend of the child<br />· A parent being ill<br />· Being bullied by another child<br />· Feeling lost (especially in a new school)<br />· Jealousy over a new brother or sister at home<br />· Moving from one house to another during the first years of elementary school<br />· Not getting along with a teacher or classmates<br />· Not having friends<br />· Parents separating, having marital problems, or having frequent arguments<br />· Parents worrying about the child in some way (e.g., poor health)<br /><br />Helpful tools to confirm the diagnosis of an anxiety disorder and the level of impairment include the following:<br /><br />· Children's Global Rating Scale<br />· The Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL)<br />· The Children's Manifest Anxiety Scale<br /><br />I hope this helps,<br /><br />MarkUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-22617765433321253842012-10-23T06:03:00.005-07:002012-10-23T06:04:24.739-07:00Daughter's Weight ProblemQuestion: <br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue: My 17 year old daughter. We have been on the program since she was 12. Doing good with it. It has been a blessing for my husband and I. She is now a senior in high school. Always been a good kid that was just difficult at home and talking back and the program totally works. She is the type of person the Mark Hutton describes and always has been. Now we are having a possible problem with her controlling her weight. She will be going off to college next year and right now I still watch over her and she needs to answer to us for where when and with who she goes places. But she is 5' 2" and 100lbs and works out always did. But I feel like it is possible that she is restricting her calories and I don't know what to do about it. I don't notice any change in weight but I am concerned that her personality is such.<br />
<br />
Answer:<br />
<br />
It's normal for a teen to feel self-conscious about weight during adolescence — a lot of children do. If you think your teen has gained too much weight or is too thin, a doctor should help you decide whether she really has a weight problem. Your doctor has measured your teen's height and weight over time and knows whether growth is proceeding normally.<br />
<br />
If concerned about your teen's height, weight, or BMI, the doctor may ask questions about her health, level of physical activity, and eating habits, as well as your family medical history. The doctor can put all this information together to determine whether there's a weight or growth problem.<br />
<br />
If your doctor thinks your teen's weight isn't in the healthy range, you will probably get specific dietary and exercise recommendations. It's important to follow a doctor's or dietitian's plan that's designed for your teen. Significantly restricting calories or following fad diets or starvation plans can deprive teens of the nutrients their growing bodies need and may actually slow down growth and sexual development.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-65556453049802939972012-04-30T17:44:00.000-07:002012-04-30T17:44:35.301-07:00RE: MY SON IS FAILING HIS ALGEBRA CLASS<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">MY SON IS FAILING HIS ALGEBRA CLASS. I ADMIT THAT I AM MICROMANAGING HIM IN REGARDS TO THIS. I JUST SIGNED UP LAST NIGHT FOR THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE I AM AT THE END OF THE ROPE AND I AM TIRED OF BUTTING HEADS. I HAVE NOW GOTTEN HIM TO MEET WITH A TUTOR WHICH HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH DOING. I HATE TO SEE HIM FAIL SO WHAT DO I DO???? IS THERE SOME KIND OF APPROPRIATE DISCIPLINE FOR THIS SITUATION?</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">For recommendations, you will want to refer to session #4 in the online version of the eBook in the section entitled "Read These Emails From Exasperated Parents" (look for "school failure"). </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; display: inline ! important; float: none; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Online Parent Support</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-43450562769216730322011-07-20T12:28:00.000-07:002011-07-20T12:28:12.919-07:00He has been putting fun and friends before his workouts...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support</a> = Our 16 year old son is extremly good in sports but this last year he has been putting fun and friends before his workouts and practices. How can I get him to go?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-83374971255439350812011-07-17T11:35:00.001-07:002011-07-17T11:35:22.598-07:00My 16.5 year old daughter just had temper, swearing fit...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support</a> =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
My 16.5 year old daughter just had temper, swearing fit because I didn't give her what she wanted...she went out and said she wasn't coming home. She is also pregnant and is planning on having an abortion but because I didn't give into letting her boyfriend sleepover tonight she said she is going to have the baby just to piss us off!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-74357896166112287932011-06-14T07:21:00.000-07:002011-06-14T07:21:15.733-07:00My 15 year old son has decided to move across the country to live with his dad...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support</a> =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue: my 15 year old son has decided to move across the country to live with his dad in one months time because he cant stand living here anymore. The issue is that he is not coming home from friends house on any kind of regular basis in the last 2 months, is extremely disrespectful and does not feel that he has to abide by any rules. His dad is supporting this move and i feel like i have no ability to parent my son at this point. I sincerely wish that i had found this program sooner.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-72290812147984333462011-06-13T07:55:00.000-07:002011-06-13T07:55:05.375-07:00I have tried every trick in the book...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support =<br />
<br />
I have two girls and an nine year old son my problem has been going for a very long time and I have tried every trick in the book when ever I ask them to help to do a job or something they don’t like to here they scream obscenities at me and they rant and scream. There is no stop button on them the two girls are at it every day when I give them a consequence they scream louder and swear they called me every name you can think of I wish I could kick them out but I would not be able to live with myself. my lovely placid son is getting very sad about it I am at the end of my tether if it was not for my son I would defiantly leave. My husband works long hours and is away quite a lot and he is at a loss as well the girls are ruing my life and my sanity also has a big impact on my marriage.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-72322134430613240252011-05-17T12:32:00.001-07:002011-05-17T12:32:32.983-07:00He just doesn't care about school...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support</a> = I need help with the following issue: He just doesn't care about school, the work or the teachers, he can be very well behaved at home do chores or other things he's asked to do but when it comes to school forget it. He's in 9th grade and failing. 2 of his teachers already requested he be dropped from the class because he is disrespectful and disrupts the other students. We have taken everything away and he sits home all day after school. We just don't know what else to do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-59693237382708723822011-05-02T07:33:00.000-07:002011-05-02T07:33:33.648-07:00We had problems with her creating a private facebook profile...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
I'm just starting my session 1 assignments. Can I introduce a chore list and a behavior/consequence contract during this time? Or should I wait until session 2? Also before I started this program I had taken away my daughters tv, cell phone, and access to the computer. should I give those back now and start fresh and new? We had problems with her creating a private facebook profile with out our consent and was using it to live her so called double life which included friends talking about using drugs and abusing alcohol , and since we have taken that priviledge away she has been ok without it..how long should I keep her from using facebook and she does have facebook on her phone...I told her about a week ago that when we choose to let her have a facebook profile again that I would need to be friends with her on it to help regulate it..but that is what I was already doing on her main facebook profile, then she created the second one without my knowledge until I figured it out when I was informed of her secret boyfriend and drug and alcohol use.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-47025940688103458382011-05-01T11:05:00.000-07:002011-05-01T11:05:28.372-07:00We wanted to transfer her out of this school to our local private High School...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com</a>/support =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
I have a meeting with my 15 year olds school councelor in 2 days to discuss a plan for her lack of responsibility and continuing to be tarty and some unexcused absences from some classes. We wanted to transfer her out of this school to our local private High School because of these issues plus having issues with her seeing a 17 year old boyfriend who she hid from us because of his lifestyle which includes drugs, alcohol and no parental involvement or rules. I was notified by a concerned friend about her doing the drug "ecstacy" which completely shocked me and scared me because I am very cautious about where I allow my daughter to go and who she hangs out with. This is when I became aware of all the lying and disrespect came next. She refused to sign the student form for the New private high school, so I have made a new arrangement so it puts the ball in her court. I am making a contract between parent and teen that states what we expect of her for her to continue at this same high school and if she doesnt follow then we will transfer her to the private high school.My question is..what if she does break the contract and she still refuses to go to this private high school? And am I handeling this in the right way?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-59636021427982298922011-04-30T06:30:00.000-07:002011-05-01T11:06:02.064-07:00Are giving consequences the only thing I can do?Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com</a>/support =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
Mark, I posted in the chat under anonymous users 472 and 279. I am the one with the 16 yr. old who wouldn't talk for 34 days because I took his computer away for being hitting his sister (13) and myself. Well, he now has hit her door so hard it broke her mirror on the other side simply because she didn't answer him fast enough. He wanted to use the phone and she had it. He has a cell phone and we have another phone in the house. He looked for those phones for "2 minutes" he said, but he said he was justified at being so angry at her because "she had the phone and wouldn't answer him when he wanted it." When I asked him about forgetting her and looking further to find the other phone in the house or his phone in his room, he said it didn't matter. His main thing was that he thought she should have given the phone to him right away. He said he wasn't going to replace the mirror. He started cursing and crying and getting angry again and stormed out of the house tonight when I took his laptop away. I told him I would do that the next time he was physically agressive. Neither parent was home at the time this happened. I was calm and was the mediator to hear both kids talk about what happened. What do I do with such anger from him? He will not go to therapy. He's like a walking time bomb. What happens if he cannot see that his anger is a problem and blames everything on everyone else? Are giving consequences the only thing I can do?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-25047016817131318022011-04-17T10:35:00.001-07:002011-04-17T10:35:39.923-07:00My daughter has quit school...Parents Support One Another @ <a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen.com</a> = <br />
<br />
My daughter has quit school and has no direction will not return to study is staying out late, drinking in excess and I would like to know how to get her motivation and direction for her study.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-31736984372803575922011-03-20T08:17:00.000-07:002011-03-20T08:17:00.005-07:00I am almost giving up on my son...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen.com</a> = I need help with the following issue: <br />
Hi! I really hope I can get some help. I am almost giving up on my son...it hurts to much to see what he has become and I cant reach him.He has become another person. He his 16 and have a few court cases coming up for stealing, <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1300634123_0">armed robbery</span>, grafting, ets..He dont listen to anyone. He has a curfew from the police. He dont care and comes and goes as he likes. I am tired of being worried and have to pick him up from the <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1300634123_1">police station</span> or having them coming home to look for him.Hi has so much potential but he is waisting it all. He is not going to school, they took him out from there. Like anyone else, we tried different thing to help him. He is a sweet boy and something went wrong.I just want to help him before its to late.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-28413533107254407862011-02-23T07:30:00.000-08:002011-02-23T07:30:35.282-08:00Son is using marijuana...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen.com</a>/ = <br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue: <br />
<br />
We have discovered that our 18 yr old son is using marijuana. Right now he is sullen and uncommunicative with us. We are trying to determine the extent of his use. Do you have any advice on how we should go about trying to talk to him about this? Worried Mom and DadUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-59903800164999028862011-02-17T06:22:00.000-08:002011-02-17T06:29:32.271-08:00Mother is allowing the kids to get high...I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
I am fairly certain that my son has been going over a friend's house where the mother is allowing the kids to get high- and possibly smoking with them. <br />
<br />
I told him he wasn't allowed over there but I am sure he will sneak over there. He is in drug counseling and is on probation for running away. I believe he is smoking K2 so it doesn't show up on his <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1297951995_0" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border-bottom: 2px dotted rgb(54, 99, 136); cursor: pointer;">drug tests</span>.<br />
<br />
I know he is going to smoke regardless if he goes there but I really don't think ignoring this situation is best. Should I confront the mother and tell her that my son is not allowed there? Any other suggestions?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/sl"><b>My Out-of-Control Teen </b></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-737904132933422472011-02-16T06:47:00.000-08:002011-02-16T06:47:57.359-08:00I got into yelling matches with my daughter...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_<a href="http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/">MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support</a> =<br />
<br />
To user 471: You are only human I got into yelling matches with my daughter and my friend said she got to the point where one day her and her daughter were pulling each others hair its not what we want as mother but they push and push to our absolute limit. my daughter said that's why she left but after 6 moths of her away I know now that wasn't it because its been something different every time she changes the excuses all the time she just wants to do what she wants and they really don't care how it affects you teenagers are really selfish you are not alone.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210289272712847060.post-61095068791608325512011-02-10T11:38:00.000-08:002011-02-10T11:38:43.167-08:00Daughter lied about where she was...Parents_Support_One_Another_@_MyOutOfControlTeen_com/support =<br />
<br />
I need help with the following issue:<br />
<br />
My 15 yr old daughter lied about where she was last Saturday night. She said she was at a friends house with a group watching movies. I asked for the land line number, as she was spending the night there,(the 2nd night in a row)and later found out she gave me a friends cell number instead. I tried repeatedly to call and text her and she did not answer. Eventually I called the number she gave me and her friend said she was asleep. An hour later she called and said she was fine and asleep, why was i bugging her? The next day she confessed, after threatening to call parents of the house she said she was at, that she and her friends spent the night at a boys house. Said there were parents home, no drugs or alcohol, but would not give me any further info to confirm her story. I took her phone away, banned her from sleepovers,and grounded her for a week. Does the consequences fit the punishment? What straight forward behaviors can she do to earn her privligles back?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4