I have a huge problem. My son 14 year old son stays with my parents at times to help me out while working. Last night my parents neighbors house was opened during the night. The house was not broke in to, but rather someone with a key left the front door open and even opened their garage door from inside the house. Only 3 people have keys to her house, her 2 daughters and my parents. The Police officer questioned her about kids. When she mentioned my son, the Police officer, who has been to our house before, already knew and suspected him.
Nothing was taken from their home and she could not believe my son would do something like that to her. I asked my son about the incident and he denies ever doing it or even knowing about the key.
My son is not saavy when it comes to certain things so after hearing all the facts, I do believe him. My parents, however, do not and I can only imagine what he is going through with every one pointing their finger at him.
I am trying to keep him positive, he did though bring this on himself, for past misdeed, and I have to admit, I can see him lying about something like this. I even asked him if he gave the key to one of his friends.
I listened to how my parents were talking to him and realized that he must feel like everyone is always against him accusing him first then asking questions. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't want to look stupid either, if he did do this. At this point it just doesn't seem to add up that he did do this.
I think I know my son well enough and can usually tell when he is lying. Any suggestions on how I can help him through this and not have him hating everyone, yet at the same time not lose faith in him that he might actually be changing for the better?
MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness...
MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness. Psychiatrists, psychologists, pediatricians, social workers, and teachers have all weighed in on his diagnoses. When he was 6 months old, even a baby sitter offered her opinion: "There's something not right about him," she muttered.
Since the age of 6, my son has been on three different atypical antipsychotics, along with other medications. He is in a substantially separate classroom at school, and not long ago was hospitalized in a pediatric psychiatric unit for three weeks. He had done fairly well for a time, and I convinced myself the problems were a phase, but it came crashing down. As one of his teachers says, "He gets this look in his eyes, and I know he can't cope." I know it, too.
My son is suffering, and I, as his mother, seem unable to make it better. He rages, and if you think this is a generic kid tantrum, you have another thought coming. At other times, he completely shuts down. Transitions are hell, and he is often glued to me. Trying to wake him in the morning is a Herculean task. Early mornings are so stressful that we are often both exhausted by 9 a.m.
Yet he can be the kindest child, with a smile that could light the planet. He is physically beautiful, so graceful, and lives in the world in a way that is deeply different than many humans. Some have called him gifted.
I am convinced that because he feels pain so deeply, he identifies deeply with the pain of others. At age 5, when we were reading a children's book about God, he said, "I don't think God is a man or a woman, because God is too big for that." His words took my breath away. That is a concept some adults never get to, never mind a 5-year-old.
Just as God is far too complex an idea to limit to one category, I ask that question about my son. His mood swings and behaviors seem to fit within the pediatric bipolar spectrum, but is it possible to assign these children a sole diagnosis of bipolar? Does such a condition even exist in children? I have no idea. His psychiatrist believes deeply that it does, but the current debate -- perhaps "war" is more accurate -- over pediatric bipolar and the use of psychiatric drugs in children fills me with uncertainty, guilt, and fear.
Since the age of 6, my son has been on three different atypical antipsychotics, along with other medications. He is in a substantially separate classroom at school, and not long ago was hospitalized in a pediatric psychiatric unit for three weeks. He had done fairly well for a time, and I convinced myself the problems were a phase, but it came crashing down. As one of his teachers says, "He gets this look in his eyes, and I know he can't cope." I know it, too.
My son is suffering, and I, as his mother, seem unable to make it better. He rages, and if you think this is a generic kid tantrum, you have another thought coming. At other times, he completely shuts down. Transitions are hell, and he is often glued to me. Trying to wake him in the morning is a Herculean task. Early mornings are so stressful that we are often both exhausted by 9 a.m.
Yet he can be the kindest child, with a smile that could light the planet. He is physically beautiful, so graceful, and lives in the world in a way that is deeply different than many humans. Some have called him gifted.
I am convinced that because he feels pain so deeply, he identifies deeply with the pain of others. At age 5, when we were reading a children's book about God, he said, "I don't think God is a man or a woman, because God is too big for that." His words took my breath away. That is a concept some adults never get to, never mind a 5-year-old.
Just as God is far too complex an idea to limit to one category, I ask that question about my son. His mood swings and behaviors seem to fit within the pediatric bipolar spectrum, but is it possible to assign these children a sole diagnosis of bipolar? Does such a condition even exist in children? I have no idea. His psychiatrist believes deeply that it does, but the current debate -- perhaps "war" is more accurate -- over pediatric bipolar and the use of psychiatric drugs in children fills me with uncertainty, guilt, and fear.
My son likes to stay out past curfew...
My son likes to stay out past curfew on school nights, smoke, experiment with drugs. My concern this year for him is his grades. He is 14 in the 9th grade so it counts. I used to smoke, do drugs so it's not a priority for me. I survived and don't do either now. I remember nothing anyone said would've made me change my mind. So how do I discipline him for staying out, yet let him feel he made the wrong choice so he doesn't think I am trying to control him? I've told him I will be on him for his grades this year and that is my priority for him. I know he is at a crossroads between a child and young man. I'm trying to get him to make the correct choices. Any help?
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