My daughter was a result of an unplanned pregnancy. When I got pregnant with her, I had plans to go to medical school and I did not want a child at the time. In fact, I never wanted to have children. However, the night before I was scheduled to have an abortion, my mother found out I was pregnant. I was living with my parents at the time. Being that they were very strict Catholics, they did not allow me to get an abortion. Consequently, I had to marry my husband, have my daughter, and give up my dreams. My daughter, now 27, does not want to move out, she is unemployed and looking to get her MBA. She is also very pretty and popular. In fact, I had to support her most of her life. I did it because I felt I had a responsibility towards her. However, I resent her alot because I had to give up my life and dreams for her. Sometimes I hate her and want to kill her. I am also very jealous of her because she has what I do not have.
I wish my daughter would leave and have to struggle the way I did while I supported her. She is very annoying and all she ever talks about is how she is going to get an MBA, get married to Mr Right and have kids. I was not able to complete my education because of her being born. I was forced to have her because my parents were very strict Catholics and did not believe in abortion. I was forced to marry her dad and I am so happy he dropped dead. I wish I could just get rid of my daughter and be free. I wish that she would have to suffer because I had to for her.
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I grew up with a mother who resented me & I have had a hard life. I really admire that you have been honest about this. My mother pretended she was so nice to me in frount of everyone. I am going to recommend a book that is kindof far out but if you are ready for it, it will change you life & help you to appreciate yourself & forgive everyone. It's a simple book by a women named Louise Hay "You can heal your life". You can get it from a library if you want aren't ready to buy it. Please email & let me know if you do read it. Also, if you have any questions or I can help you on this journey you are on.....Lynne
Wow, this is really sad. I think you are in immediate need of medical intervention for your obvious emotional and mental difficulties.
There is not much else to say. Blaming an innocent child for the way your life turned out is not only unfair, but it is hardly realistic. Many, many people who find themselves in a difficult situation go onto realize their dreams. The fact that you did not has nothing to do with your daughter at all.
Get therapy. This is about you, not your daughter (who obviously didn't ask to be born). It can be difficult to come to terms with your life turning out differently than you expected, but if it's still consuming you and your daughter is an adult (and if you want to kill her), you really need some professional help. Please get it.
I understand you feel frustrated. You have obviously done a good job with your daughter. However, you need to tell her to move out of your house. You are not required to house and feed her at 27. Doing so is obviously causing friction. Make her move out-sink or swim policy-the distance will do you both a world of good.
There are several issues going on here. At 27, your daughter is old enough to be on her own. If she is looking to go to school, she can get on campus housing. She is grown, and you should not have to take care of her any longer. As far as not having wanted her goes, remember that she didn't ask to be born. There is no point in being resentful. You cannot go back and change the past. Learn to be at peace in the present. Get therapy, so you can get past your anger and start living your life.
Please get help. Your words and feelings are scary! And once you've worked through your issues, why not go back to school?
My heart aches for you but especially for your daughter. This is something that should have been dealt with a long time ago - then maybe she'd be more stable. This life, the way it is, was not her decision. I'm glad you choose LIFE for her. But now you both need therapy. The good news is with the right help, things can get better. Figure out what would make you most happy, without hurting someone else. If the medical field is what you wanted take some classes. Volunteer at a local hospital. Become an EMT. It's not too late to learn, live and enjoy your life and your daughters.
God be with you!
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