I pay my little darling a lot of attention, (she's four) respect and value what she has to say. I never interupt her and always really listen to what she has to say. However, when ever I or friends or family start talking she will gladly stomp around say WAH NI NO LA BBBRRA DEEEPPO DDEEPPO DEEE till whoever is speaking has to stop talking and ask her to calm down. Please don't say that she wants my attention because I know that, and talking calmly and explaining isn't working (or it's taking a long time). Oh and please no smacking or naughty corner solutions. Thanks.
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This is such a common occurance. It absolutely must be addressed. Four is a great age to do this... they really do start to understand social boundries. If speaking calming and explaining isn't working, you do need to then follow through with an appropriate consequence. The consequence needs to be either 'logical' or 'natural'. (eg: a natural consequence of refusing to eat is feeling hungry) In your case I'd suggest a logical consequence. Tell her in advance what will happen. I will give you an example just to help me explain. "Sweetie, today Mrs White is going to visit us! Won't that be nice? Mrs White will be talking to you and she will also want to talk with me. We will want to hear each other when we're speaking, so if you start calling out and shouting we won't be able to. If that happens I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room so Mrs White and I can hear each other. You might have to play somewhere else if you choose to shout." And then, see what happens. If your daughter does the right thing be sure to praise her for this. However, if she begins her usual trick give her ONE warning. "Sweetie, remember what I said about shouting? About Mrs White and I being able to hear each other? If you do not stop that noise I'm going to ask you to play somewhere else away from us." See what happens. If your daughter does it again then it's time to follow through with the logical consquence of her playing elsewhere. Ask her to leave the room, perhaps guide her gently away by the hand but ENSURE IT HAPPENS. This is not a naughty corner at all because your daughter may still play. She knew the rules and made the choice none-the-less. She chose this outcome. You may need to remind her of that. At first she may physically refuse to stay away and you may have to return her to the other room a few times. But keep this up consistenlty and she will probably learn quite quickly that the shouting will not be tolerated. Once she has been playing away in another room for a few minutes, you can go and invite her to rejoin you, saying that she can come back as long as she remembers to allow you and "Mrs White" to hear each other speak. Also remind her that when SHE is talking to "Mrs White" you have always stayed nice and quiet so that they can hear each other. I so hope this hasn't been too long winded and boring for you to read!
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