I need help...

I need help with the following issue: I have a 15 and 16 year old, both boys. My 16 year old has speech apraxia with a processing disorder and my 15 year old has cerebral palsy, very mild, but muscle tone and gait issues. I divorced their father when they were 8 and 9. Their father is a psychiatrist who has basically given up on our 16 year old. My 16 year old was caught for theft in school this past year. I was mortified of course when the school called me in and I made him empty his wallet, which was about 3 times the amount of the money that he stole from a March of Dimes box. I also made him read up on just what the March of Dimes was as he said he didn't know what the box at the front of the room was for and that it was supposed to be a joke that he and his friends were going to put it in a different classroom. He has many control issues with his father and has even gotten into a physical confrontatio!
n with his father. I demanded that they attend therapy and my ex couldn't handle being confronted on some issues that really bother my son, one being that his father brings younger women with little kids, usually of a different race and religion, to his home when the boys are there for their weekend. My son resents babysitting for these children while my ex visits with his friend. He also was embarrassed that my ex still had the boys bedroom as they were when they were very young. Needless to say my ex refused to ever go back to the therapist again and told my son several times that he is not welcome in his home. My other son, the younger, with the mild CP, has a happy go lucky attitude and has lots of friends and wants to be social all of the time. One of his friends became interested in my older son and my youngest was very upset and I told my oldest to stay away from her as his brother obviously has a crush on her. My oldest never took it any further. He got his !
own girlfriend who he liked alot but she wasn't as interested and broke up with him. My youngest met up with her at an ice skating rink and they tried to have a "down low" relationship. My oldest found out and I think I forgot to mention that they are black belts in karate. Next thing you know, I have a Jackie Chan movie live in my formal living room. My youngest was actually pulling weapons out and it was a nightmare. My oldest said he would never hurt him but wanted to scare him. Either way it was horrible and my fiance intervened. I grounded my youngest for overstepping his bounds with our family and the principles that he knows he is supposed to follow regarding girlfriend issues and he didn't go to the ice rink that Friday. That was 3 weeks ago and I reasoned with my sons father and asked him to try and work things out with my oldest, so they are both there this weekend again. The boys took a walk to the park today as per my ex and my youngest saw some friends and wanted to go with them and my oldest told him they were geeks and r!
efused to go along. Then he said that his brother wouldn't bond with him. Then he took a total fit and demanded that his brother not be allowed to go to the ice rink tonight, which I think is good for his legs and he enjoys this and he seemed very sorry for dating his brother's ex girlfriend and has stopped all contact with her, so he says. My older one already had plans to go to his friends for a sleepover and a 16 year old poker party. No money involved, just chips and they pitch in for pizza and sodas. I'm just great full that he is social with some people. Needless to say I cannot stand the anger and hate between the two of them. After the original ex girlfriend incident we went to a 4 H fair and a boy there made fun of my youngest son's teeth and my oldest got extremely offended and stood up for him. I can't tell what's going on here. I think my oldest is controlling but is it possible he's trying to protect him. He has never physically touched him, my younges!
t has went after the older one. I know I am long winded and I apologize. Thank you. Oh and I scored a 99 on the test!

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