Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support =
I need help with the following issue:
My teen ran away last month: checks in via voice mail with "unknown" caller id to say "don't worry, I'm fine", when she knows I'll be at work. Says she is .coming home this week... wants me to leave a key outside; I won't. I don't want her to be able to come in and just get clothes, or whatever.. She has been gone over a month now,( she turned 17 a couple of days ago) and I have mixed feelings about how to receive her when she does come home... I am glad I just started "My Out of Control Teen" today. Any ideas?, or encouragement out there? Signed, Hopeful.
4 comments:
Have you called the police? If not you should. If she gets hurt while she's out rambling around, you can be charged with neglect.
Have you viewed the section in Mark's ebook about what to do when your child runs?
Youths entering their adolescent years face many transitions. Physical changes occur in conjunction with a striving for personal identity and autonomy. In the runaway, however, attempts to gain independence in a mature, self-sufficient manner fail.
Despite the many reasons runaways give for leaving home, runaway youth often return home, only to run away again. This cycle is puzzling, particularly in those instances in which a youth left home because of abuse. Why does this cycle continue?
Patterns of Running
The number of times a youth leaves home is important. The runaways studied have left home anywhere from one to 110 times. Four in 10 of them have run away more than three times.
The median age for the cycle of running is 14 years old for this group. As many as one fourth of the runaways report first running away before the age of 12; one youth reported a first runaway experience at age four. Most youths are into their teens when they first leave; however, nearly four in 10 youths first leave home in early adolescence (between ages 13 and 15), with approximately the same number leaving home at age 16 or older.
Most youths remain away from home between one month and one year. Females tend to return home sooner than males. More adolescent males (three in 10) stay away from home for more than one year. Non surprisingly, it is the older youths who stay away from home the longest.
Overall, runaways who report physical or sexual abuse as reasons for running first leave home at an early age. In addition, preteen runaways, both male and female, are more likely to report physical abuse than the older runaways.
There is a relationship between the youth's reasons for leaving and the number of times they have run away. Youths who have run away only once or twice are more likely to claim that they wanted a new experience than are adolescents who have run away a number of times. Runaways who have left home more than nine times are more likely to implicate alcohol as a very important reason for running away. These youths are also more likely than first-time runaways and youths who have left home fewer than nine times to claim physical abuse as a very important reason for running away. The runaways’ responses suggest that almost all runaways leave home because of family situations they find unbearable.
Thank you for the feedback. Yes, I did call the police. I will check Mr. Hutten's section about runaways. I know all this information is going to help us. , and when she does return home, there will be a better chance for us to be able to communicate, and build that bridge . Thanks, again.
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