Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support = I need help with the following issue:
I have started the on-line reading and am relieved to know that I am not alone. I have 2, 15 year sons and a daughter. my older son (by 20 mins) is good,kind and sweet, my younger son is trying to distinguish himself by being the exact opposite. I will call him troubled. Troubled is rude, arrogant, disruptive and has had me in tears more times than I can count. Troubled has to be the centre of attention. Troubled has got me so troubled that I don't know how to be with my 2 good kids without troubled being in my thoughts constantly. I think I now know that is the point. He has stolen from us, lied and threatened his sibs, so that my daughter hides in the bathroom from fear, if we are not home. I am tired of dreading coming home. I want to continue my relationship with my 2 good kids and bring troubled back into the family where he once was.
4 comments:
Get your troubled teens into personal counseling and get family counseling. If their behavior is inappropriate, let them know what the consequenses will be, then stick to them. Don't make them more than you will enforce or they learn that if they whine and argue enough, they can get what they want. Be consistent. Don't let them get away with something one day and crack down on them the next, then let them get away with it again. Make the rules stick. Discipline with love and respect, but with seriousness.
If you suspect that your teen is on drugs, try to get confirmation through a doctor's exam. You might need to put them in a rehab program. But the bottom line is that you are probably going to need help from an outside source if you want to have any peace of mind.
Teenagers can be very difficult. They think they are adults, even though they aren't. It's especially difficult if you happen to be a single parent. In the end, they usually outgrow it, if they survive it. It's almost impossible to get control by the time they are 17, so it's going to be a matter of getting through this without too much damage to your relationship. Just remember that your teen will grow up and most likely will turn into a normal human being some day. Meanwhile, make sure that while you are trying to gain control that you remember this kid is a person. People usually respond to being treated with respect.
Counseling, counseling, counseling. The teenager needs some strict controls. To allow him to continue to emotionally blackmail the family is unacceptable. he needs to be told that it will stop now. That if he uses threats like that, he will be committed or kicked out of the house. Playing this middle ground is wrong and needs to stop. I'm sure he got everything he wanted as a baby by crying and acting out. Now he's doing the same behavior as a teen. It's amazing how parents screw up their kids and then want help fixing their mess.
I have a 17 year old daughter that at times I think is out of control. I limit the telephone, the boyfriend, the cell phone, and make her clean her room and closet. She has to ask to get on the computer because she doesnt know the password, I limit that anyway due to past behavior on messenger.
I am a teen and I was out of control. So, my parents took away everything I had and sent me to my room. It started out my stopping yelling for two hours, then I was allowed out to the house. Still grounded I had to earn everything back, week by week with good behaviour and good grades. I got everything back including my parents trust and respect over about three months. My good friends stood by me the whole way. I spent alot of hours crying though. My mom spend alot of hours with me also. I forgot to add, I also lost my bedroom door twice for slamming it. Now that sucked.
I would have taken abuse anytime over that.
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