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My 13 year old son refuses to go to school...

Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support = I need help with the following issue:

I am new so I hope I do this correctly....

My 13 year old son refuses to go to school. When I went to the school for help they told my son that if he missed so many days (10) with no excuse they would send the SRO (policeman assigned to our middle school) to come get him. My son missed many more days than 10 and the school never followed through with anything. We do take away privledges but nothing we have done so far has any impact on him at all. Do we call the police? Do we charge him with an "undiciplined minor" through our court system? Do I just do nothing and let him take whatever consequences come his way (failing, etc.)? He doesn't do homework or study either and just has no interest in school. He just doesn't care at all (on the outside) and he starts school again tomorrow for his 8th grade year. I want to be able to do things consistently and I want to know what to do if he refuses to go. I can't physically force him at his age. Please help.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

School personnel -- teachers, nurses, principals -- are frequently the first professionals to identify the existence of a problem that requires immediate attention and intervention. As such, school personnel play a vital role in alerting parents to the problem and helping facilitate referrals for treatment by mental health specialists. The next step towards effective treatment by mental health professionals is gaining an understanding of the reasons that motivate school refusal. While school refusal per se is not a clinical disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, it can be associated with several psychiatric disorders (e.g. Separation Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia, Conduct Disorder). Thus, it is vital that youths who are school refusing receive a comprehensive evaluation that includes a structured diagnostic interview and empirically supported assessment measures, such as "The School Refusal Assessment Scale" (SRAS)2, to understand the biopsychosocial factors contributing to their behavior. Once a clear diagnostic picture is established, an individualized treatment plan can be developed to address the positive and negative reinforcers that are associated with the school refusal behavior and comorbid psychiatric disorders.

The traditional treatments for school refusal behavior employed by mental health professionals have unfortunately had limited effectiveness. While certain treatment modalities such as psychodynamic therapies, forced school attendance, family-based techniques, medication and use of systematic desensitization work as the sole treatment modality for some youngsters, not all children who refuse school will improve with the chosen treatment. Thus, clinical scientists have developed a scientifically-based, comprehensive assessment and treatment package for youths with school refusal behavior.

Consultation with child psychiatrists may be necessary in certain cases of school refusal behavior that involve highly complicated clinical symptoms and comorbidities. For example, in order to increase the probability of successful therapeutic intervention, the child refusing school who exhibits mainly internalizing problems may benefit from adjunctive pharmacotherapy (e.g., Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor - SSRI) to help lower his or her anxiety.

Anonymous said...

The experience you described could have been my son. We experienced the same thing with our 13 year old (now 17). Unfortunately we also did not know what to do and thought the natural consequences of missing school would help the problem. We later learned that the behaviors were symptoms of other (undiagnosed) problems. It took two years before we really understood. He was eventually diagnosed with anxiety disorder (which often has an onset at 13 years of age) and ADD. Both were devastating and we wish we knew to consider this type of problem earlier. Be proactive and have him evaluated by a psychiatrist and psychologist. Each one will provide a different diagnostic perspective and you need the team to help you learn what is happening and how to manage it. Take one day at a time and don't lose sight of the positive moments. Building a healthy relationship (clear boundaries and expectations and along with support) with your child will help the process.