Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com = I need help with the following issue:
Hi I am a single father with 2 teenage children 10 years ago my marriage come to the point where it was a war zone I had had both of my children living with me at the time a little girl who is now 15 & a little boy who is now 13. Well my girl was a screamer and toss things and could not understand No well she went back to her mothers while i was living in the same town as my wife but the marriage got worse and I had to by choice leave the town I could not bare to be in the same town as my wife. Having my boy was great he is a slow school learner and can drive me up the wall a bit does not push me to breaking point. Well I made the choice to also have my little girl as she was a screamer I did not want to leave her with her mother that drank to much & had already had men friends I knew taking my little girl would be very hard but i did not thing it would be so hard almost impossible she had and still has learning impairment Well at 15 after many different course my girl is still not Listening to me 7 is trying to understand me still screams and toss & breaks things & does not like to hear the word No she also feels rejection & I feel blaming me for her feelings. With her mother she did not see her for some years as I went though unforgiveness but got over it and she as slow her drinking down and my girl now goes and sees her as just come back after spending a least 7 weeks with her. Due to my Anger I say she can go & live with her mother & other things so I feel I have been a bad parent as a good parent would not have allowed this to happen. What is the view of others on single fathers? Am I a bad parent or did I just not do a good job?
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5 comments:
If father wants to count, he has to work at having a relationship with his child. He cannot rely on mother to do the “family thing” for him.
In two parent families where the male partner stays home and cares for the kids and the female partner is in the work force, the female partner is usually still mother. Generally speaking, the woman remains the primary love figure.
Single fathers (like single mothers) should focus on responsiveness. Be sensitive to the feelings and needs of your child, expressed and unexpressed. If the single father is slightly disadvantaged (by biology) when it comes to responsiveness he should also be at an advantage when it comes to training impulse control. A weak single mother in the area of training impulse control may have a worse outcome than a slightly less responsive single father.
If you are a single father and the only functional parent of an at risk child, you have both a challenge and an opportunity. Your challenge is to keep your relationship with your child your number one priority. The opportunity this situation gives you is the opportunity to grow as a person. You can become a better person than you would have been had you not had to face this challenge!
Your child may remind you of his mother! If you harbor negative feelings toward your child's mother, your care of your child could be affected. Deal with these feelings by acknowledging them to yourself. Then, give yourself a positive message for example, "He/she may be like her, but he/she also has qualities I like."
I'd say you did the best job you could given the circumstances.
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