SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT
MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 4YEARS OLD ON SEPTEMBER 23RD. SHE IS A TWIN WITH A BOY' SHE ALSO HAS A BABY BROTHER AND THREE OLDER SIBLINGS FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, WHICH ALL LIVE WITH ME AND MY SECOND HUSBAND. SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT AND DOES NOT WANT TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING. SHE ACTS OUT VIOLENTLY AND I AM AT WITS END, BECAUSE SHE IS DISRUPTIVE AND IS MAKING OUR FAMILY MISERABLE, MY HUSBAND AND I ARE FIGHTING, BECAUSE WE ARE TRYING EVERYTHING AND NOTHING IS WORKING, PLEASE HELP AND GIVE ME A SOLUTION.
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Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation.
Take a time‑out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. This is good modeling for your child. Support your child if he decides to take a time‑out to prevent overreacting.
Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time‑out in his room for misbehavior, don't add time for arguing. Say "your time will start when you go to your room."
Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn't take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
Manage your own stress with exercise and relaxation. Use respite care as needed.
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