How do I get my 17 yr old son to act responsibly ?? He probably won't finish high school. Can't get his priorities straight. He just thinks of short term rewards ....
4 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Not wanting to sound mean but this should have been handled with he was 7 not 17.
If you are just starting now wanting to find a way to have him act responsibile you will have a long haul ahead of you.
It can be done but you are going to need a lot of help. You need to get him and you and the rest of the family into counsling.
If you know he will not graduate on time have him take his G.E.D., that will help in the future.
I also think it takes a special 17 year old to have his priorities straight. Most just go by the seat of their pants.
Since you are the parent and pay his bills you need to sit him down and tell him what you expect from him. Tell him what will happen if he does not do as you ask. Do not be unfair or unreasonable.
Do NOT tell him he needs to get his priorities straight, He will NOT know what that means or what his priorities should be.
Does he work.? If not make him get a job or if he is unwilling to get a job I bet you could find him 8 hours of work at home to do.
You as the parent pay for the house he lives in and things that go along with that. Nothing else. Make him start buying his own clothes and paying you for gas if you take him places. Or make him walk.
Remember to NOT CAVE. If you do it once he will know you will do it again.
He's 17 he isn't going to act responsbily. He can always go back and get his GED if he doesn't finish highschool now. Both of my Step sisters were married and raising kids rather than finishing highschool, they both got their GEDs once their kids got into school one even went on to college and got a master's degree in business. You son obviously is still a bit immature and needs a bit more time to grow up. And to tell you the truth...short term rewards aren't always bad. Especially when tomorrow never comes anyway.
Does he have his license? If he does and he wants to drive anymore, then tell him to get a job because you need gas money from him. If he wants to go somewhere, tell him he needs to find another way or work around your schedule as to when you can take him. If he is working already, he should already be doing this. Also, have him open up a saving account to save for a car of his own. When he gets enough for a car that he likes, make sure you set him with his own insurance and he pays for his own insurance too. My son is 18 and has had his own car and insurance for 1 year, pays for it all on his own and has a job. He also knows if his grades drop that I will take privleges away, like not being able to go anywhere other than work and school.
4 comments:
Not wanting to sound mean but this should have been handled with he was 7 not 17.
If you are just starting now wanting to find a way to have him act responsibile you will have a long haul ahead of you.
It can be done but you are going to need a lot of help. You need to get him and you and the rest of the family into counsling.
If you know he will not graduate on time have him take his G.E.D., that will help in the future.
I also think it takes a special 17 year old to have his priorities straight. Most just go by the seat of their pants.
Since you are the parent and pay his bills you need to sit him down and tell him what you expect from him. Tell him what will happen if he does not do as you ask. Do not be unfair or unreasonable.
Do NOT tell him he needs to get his priorities straight, He will NOT know what that means or what his priorities should be.
Does he work.? If not make him get a job or if he is unwilling to get a job I bet you could find him 8 hours of work at home to do.
You as the parent pay for the house he lives in and things that go along with that. Nothing else. Make him start buying his own clothes and paying you for gas if you take him places. Or make him walk.
Remember to NOT CAVE. If you do it once he will know you will do it again.
Make your rules and STICK TO THEM.
Good Luck
The quick answer is "You CAN'T".
If he is so stupid as to not get that YOU are smarter then him - then he's going to have to learn the hard way.
Kick him out at 18. Let him see how freaking smart he is THEN.
He's 17 he isn't going to act responsbily. He can always go back and get his GED if he doesn't finish highschool now. Both of my Step sisters were married and raising kids rather than finishing highschool, they both got their GEDs once their kids got into school one even went on to college and got a master's degree in business. You son obviously is still a bit immature and needs a bit more time to grow up. And to tell you the truth...short term rewards aren't always bad. Especially when tomorrow never comes anyway.
Does he have his license?
If he does and he wants to drive anymore, then tell him to get a job because you need gas money from him. If he wants to go somewhere, tell him he needs to find another way or work around your schedule as to when you can take him.
If he is working already, he should already be doing this.
Also, have him open up a saving account to save for a car of his own. When he gets enough for a car that he likes, make sure you set him with his own insurance and he pays for his own insurance too.
My son is 18 and has had his own car and insurance for 1 year, pays for it all on his own and has a job.
He also knows if his grades drop that I will take privleges away, like not being able to go anywhere other than work and school.
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