My exget my 2.5 yr old every other weekend and every other wed and tuesday. He is a real jerk by nature and a police officer who think he is invincible. Well he is teach landon how to flick the bird. today he flicked the bird and said look what daddy showed me. He also cusses and hits like he is fighting...another trait his father is demonstrating. What can I do if anything to my ex or to help discipline my child. When I go to spank him he just laughs... im obviously not spanking him hard enough but this is just reinforcing the hitting behaviour. Any ideas? anything the court can do about him promoting this behaviour? He used to have supervised custody but doesnt anymore.
I have tried time outs...taking toys away however nothing works. I am as sweet as I can be about rasising this child I am his mother... I have only attempted spanking numerous times. He does not respond to any kind of discipline. As far as raising a piece of garbage anyone who judges that fast without knowing is in fact the garbage man.
Wait till you have a child and you have to discipline him. Thanks everyone for the sincere answers.
His father is using the child like in most separations as a pawn...teaching him bad things on purpose. trying to make it as hard as possible on me. honestly is there any legal action that can be done? how would I prove these things?
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4 comments:
It sounds as if your ex is immature and there isn't anything you can do legally to make him grow up. The fact is that he is teaching your child these things because he thinks they are funny. You have to understand that what he's doing is not intended to make anything difficult on you. He's just being a lax father who lets his child have the run of his house.
Your discipline problems with your son don't have anything to do with what his dad lets him do or teaches him. The fact is that children easily identify "daddy's house rules" and "mommies house rules". You have got to lay down the law with the child and make it firm and consistant.
1, Post your rules. Whether he can read them doesn't matter. They are there for him to see. Make sure you tell him exactly what the rules are, they have to be clearly defined.
2. If your spanking isn't working then your not applying it effectively. Stick to what you can be firm and consistant on. Time outs can work when used properly. If all he has to do is sit on the couch and watch TV for five minutes then he can do that and not feel as if he lost anything.
3. Stricktly enforce time outs. Put him in the corner out of view of everything, TV, his room, Toys everything and enforce the time. If he refuses to take time outs, then start taking away his toys, and make him earn them back. Toys are not a requirement they are a prviliage and he has to learn that.
Your child needs to know that when he's with you what can and won't be tolerated. What he does at your Ex's house you can't do anything about. However, if your firm and consistant he'll figure out that he can't do those things at dad's either. The truth is this will come back to bite your ex in the butt not you as long as you maintain control while you have the child.
spanking wont work, you cant get a child to understand that something his dad is teaching him is wrong, talk to your ex and tell him that its not okay to teach him these things, soon he is going to be at school and missing alot of it if he is caught doing things like this, you have to just keep telling your child that it is not acceptable behavior and that its bad, no parent should be teaching thier child to fight, there is enough violence going on in the world already
I wasn't going to respond because quite honestly, I do not know what to tell you because I am in a similar situation where I have been told by the court and Children & Youth the way my ex treats my son is BORDERLINE abuse that is difficult to prove because there is no physical proof.
However what changed my mind is that self-righteous @#$ Bill who responded. Her fault for choosing this bonehead for a father to her child, come off it. People are good at putting their best appearances forth first in order to lore others in.
Bdog, ignore that rude, inconsiderate person; it is not your fault that your ex is treating your son the way he is. I wish there was something more I could tell you, but at the moment I am unable to protect my son from a similar monster.
As a teacher I have heard several parents who have similar stories. Find a way to stop it now, your ex is basically teaching your son to ignore authority and women. When Landon gets to kindergarten he will be similar to the way he is now if this continues. Document dates that your son says these things, especially the new things he will start to come home with.
This is your exes new way of controlling you through your son. Don't let him do this to you and your son. Time out will help- but remember for children they spend as many minutes in time out as their age. (Landon is 2.5 so he should spend 2 and half minutes in time out) Time out should be done every time he misbehaves, swears, hits, gives the finger, or disrespects you... You need to take control of the situation!!
BE STRONG!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!
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