My 11 year old son got suspended from school for 2 days. what should i do ...how should i ground him. he pushed a classmate that cut in line, then the classmate pushed him back, then my son pushed and kick him and the kid fell down.
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I would find work around the house for him to do. What is the real punishment behind grounding while all his friends are in school.. I am sure you have floors that need scrubbed or walls...
you need to make sure he hates every minute of the day that he is at home. He has to know that being suspended is not a vacation away from school. Make him do heavy duty chores around the house (sweep, mop, vacuum, clean the restrooms, cut the lawn, etc). Do not let him watch TV or play video games. If you work and can't leave him home unsupervised, then take him to work with you and have him shred papers, file folders, organize shelves, or label things that need labels.
At the end of the day you need to sit and talk with him and let him know what he did was wrong. He needs to understand the consequences for his behavior and the effect it will have on him if he continues down the wrong path (as someone who works in the field of education, I know that once a child is suspended from school on several occasions, they tend to be labeled as a "bad kid" and that label could follow them - which only leads to a vicious circle of more suspensions. They'll watch him like a hawk and try to find anything to get him in trouble again).
I dont think "hitting" your child in a situation like this would solve this issue....you've got to talk to your son and get to the ROOT as why he did this.....getting angery at him wont help...think about how your childs behavor was PRIOR to this....communication is the key at this age..."spanking" a child at this age causes problems with self-esteem a they are already having issues as such.....especially when dealing with socializing at school....
do not be too harsh on him. you can ban tv and lock up his com and handphone. do not let him go out. let him do some home work and you must talk to him too.
1 threaten-tell him he will never get his tv or com or hp back until you see gd behaviour.
2 ask him why he did that
3 give him more attention
4 tell him that cutting in the line is not correct but pushing and kicking is even worse.
5 he might get fustrated tell him it's okay and you'll not make it a big deal unless he does it again.
6 let him stay in the room to think about it. do not talk about it again.
7 after he goes back to school for 2 days and if nothing happens you get get him a treat like ice cream.
8 if he does something again then be harsh!
but remember dont be too harsh on him now if you are he will be fustrated and angry and he'll vent his anger on someone at school. gd luck :)
I don't have an answer for you no more than anyone else does. All children are individuals and need to be handled as such. Here's a story. My granddaughter is 20 yrs old and she was never spanked in her life. She used to fight all the time in high school ALWAYS being suspended. I (her Gram) put her on a reward system. I told her I would give her $10 for every mark 80 or above. $20 for 90 and above and $50 for 100 or A's.. BUT, if she got in a fight, she gets nothing! Immediately, she started cracking the books and stopped fighting. It was like a job to her. That was in 10th grade. By the time she was a senior she was getting all A's and now she's in college studying to be a doctor and she's working at Tim Horton's to help pay for it. . I can't say it will work for everyone but it sure worked for her.
First of all make sure you get his story,of what happened, was he having a bad day? and listen and don't criticize while he is explaining. Then let him figure out what was wrong about the situation-don't tell him-see if he can figure it out, and then help him if he can't. Get any school work he will be missing on the two days, and have him do the work.
First off, don't rescue your son from his consequences. He should have to figure out a way to fix the problem he created with that child, and repay you for the inconvience his suspension is causing you. Then suggest a list of 5 chores you would normally do that he can do so you can continue to do your job. Thank him sincerely for each job. Then, when he is ready to go outside to play (or anything fun) for the next week or two, tell him you just can't spend the energy worrying about what he might do to others while you aren't there, then suggest he spend the time reading quietly in his room. Say thank you and leave the room. (This is the consequence at an opportune time on your terms not his.) Much more effective, and less stress on you!
I'm sort of going throught the same thing! My 10 year old daughter got in a fight and suspended for a day. Apparently, the girl pushed my daughter and knocked her down to the ground so my daughter pushed her back, then the girl tried to hit her in the face so she tried to hit her back. What I did was took EVERYTHING away from her, TV, game systems, and she has to do chores like the dishes, room cleaning stuff like that so she can learn some responsibility and that there are consequences to everything that she does.
went thru the exact same thing last year with my 10 yr old, this particular classmate was someone he did not get on with and it blew out of control. I took all video games away for a two week period, no tv, no playdates. He did schoolwork on the two days he missed school and hopefully we are now passed that incident. Did also talk with principal and was happy with the outcome as he saw us a concerned parents trying our best to instill good sound values in our child, this has helped with the end of last year and this year has got off to a much better start, hope this helps and hey looking at these answers it is good to know we are not alone.........
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