How can I end this...
Hi......I have a 16yr old daughter, who refuses to listen to anything I say. She will not get up for school, she takes off when I am sleeping or just laughs in my face when I say anything. I try to get her dad to help, but he never has time. I have done everything but put my hands on her. How can I end this every single day fight.
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We have a 16 yr old son who is a lot like your daughter. We have been using Mark's program (I have and Dad finally is sort of) since April 07. Be firm, be consistant, and say what you need to say even if she is ACTING like she's deaf. Believe me, she is hearing (and overhearing) more than you know. If you believe she really is missing some of the information you need to convey, write it down (keep a copy for yourself). Keep it short!! You may feel she is the one in control, but again you have more power than you realize. Stop rescuing her. This was probably the hardest part for me. I kept thinking about his future and being soft-hearted about giving him chances and excuses, but at 16 they pretty much have a good idea what is right (after all your upbringing has been instilled into them until recently). Cut off her cell phone, restrict her phone use (you pay the service), restrict her TV/video, etc. I have even taken away clothes if they have not been put away after a reasonable amount of time and advance warning. Believe me, losing her favorite designer clothes is a big loss. You can let her earn things back if you want (this builds back some of her independance and self-reliance). If she leaves without permission or does something in retaliation, call the police (use the regular station number) and a file will be started on her, and even may reach the juvenile justice system. She will learn very quickly she doesn't have as much control as she thinks. Once she turns 17 you lose a lot of control as far as legally what you can do. There will be set backs, believe me. Also, if you do get the legal system involved, it may be expensive, but I figure saving my son is well worth the expense and you can be put on a payment plan. Hope this helps.
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