What goes wrong in parenting that kids grow up disrespectful?
11 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I think they didn't establish their athority with their children. Children need to know very early who is the child and who is the adult and who makes the rules. Never ever negotiate with a child because then they learn that everything is negotiable and they become that kid that argues with everyone, even adults. Also, children test their limits with their parents. If a child does something inappropriate or says something disrespectful and the parent doesn't correct it sternly and immediately, they will grow up with a brat. I don't think there is any worse trait for a child to have than being disrespectful especially to their parents- I guess it is just the way I was raised.
Parents don't require their kids to respect them, or the parents don't show respect towards the other parent and the kids see this and emulate it. Parents are even sometimes guilty of not respecting their children and this could lead to disrespectful behaviors in children.
The parents let them get away with it. They want to be friends instead of parents. They think they're little angels are perfect and never need to be disciplined. It's terrible how disrespectful kids are now. When I was a kid, I would never dream of talking back to any adult.
1. Teach by example. respect them, respect the other parent aned strangers. Dont' just show them though. You have to point out what your'e doing and why each time.
2. Kids that are disrespectful are usually unhappy. Find the source.
I think for some kids it begins in bad parenting, but definately not all. Some parents try to be their friend versus setting rules and limits. But sometimes a parent can do all they can do and things still go this way. Some children have to push the limits for everything and you can't feel guilty about this.
Just be firm, and demand respect and hopefully they will get it. Show them right from wrong by setting examples, and follow through when they dont follow rules or are disrespectable.. It is a challenging task for some, believe me I know, but keep setting the rules and making them follow through and you will get through it....
I believe that parents are to caught up into being "liked" by their children. My partner raised his son by himself and he did this for so long. When I stepped in it was hard for me because I grew up very strict with discipline (I'm thankful for it). Imagine my stepson changed his report card grade in 5th grade and the same weeknd was watching TV and playing Playstation. Now that I am around there are clear consequences. I tell my son: Evertime you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence. Now when he lies, fails tests, has bad grades, we get calls from school, or catch him doing inappropriate things there is a punishment. I don't get why parents can't understand loving your child does not mean getting his/her approval. Parenting can be an ugly job at times but it must be done. You have an inner compass that leads you. Sometimes you have to be lenient or permissible other times you must ruel with an iron fist but still be loving. It's about balance. Parenting is hard but it is not a popularity contest. This is not highschool where you must be voted prom king/queen.
Not enough or no disciplinary actions at all, lack of communication skills, failure to correct and punish when needed, giving in to the child's every whim, not setting boundaries or rules, need I go on?
Basically the parents allow the child(ren) to run the roost and act as a friend to their child rather than a parent.
Parents don't teach their kids the reasons why others deserve respect just as they do. A good way to teach this is for the parent to treat others with respect (including the child and themselves), and to let the child know that they expect them to treat others with respect as well.
I wonder why you think parenting is the reason some kids don't respect others as they should? Let's not forget personal responsibility. I guess this depends on the age of the kid you are talking about too. A little one, say under age 6 should be under the control of his/her parents, but once that child takes off for school a whole host of other influences can cause this lack of respect you are asking about. Some respect issues are also just a side light of that child's personality. Some seeming disrespect can also be on the part of the one feeling disrespected. I have made a decision to never feel disrespected by anyone. Just because we think our feeling have been hurt doesn't mean the person doing the "hurting" meant to hurt. Maybe it was just the wrong word at the right time. Keep a positive attitude and the amount of disrespect you feel and see in life decreases immensely.
Both parents are more focused on their 'career' than raising children, therefore, the children are negelected and have to fend for themselves. Or, the parents do NOT know how to raise children. Or, the custodial parent is living on welfare and the social workers are telling them what to do and what not to do - as in discipline. Or, children do live with parents and the parents are disrespectful and teach the same to their children.
Not enought discipline and not enough follow through. And parents allowing bad behavior to continue. I also have this notion that as our world gets busier and busier parents can't be bothered to take the time it needs to correct a disrespectful child. And then kids see their friends being disrespectful so they think it ok or even cool say a cycle begins.
11 comments:
I think they didn't establish their athority with their children. Children need to know very early who is the child and who is the adult and who makes the rules. Never ever negotiate with a child because then they learn that everything is negotiable and they become that kid that argues with everyone, even adults. Also, children test their limits with their parents. If a child does something inappropriate or says something disrespectful and the parent doesn't correct it sternly and immediately, they will grow up with a brat. I don't think there is any worse trait for a child to have than being disrespectful especially to their parents- I guess it is just the way I was raised.
Parents don't require their kids to respect them, or the parents don't show respect towards the other parent and the kids see this and emulate it. Parents are even sometimes guilty of not respecting their children and this could lead to disrespectful behaviors in children.
The parents let them get away with it. They want to be friends instead of parents. They think they're little angels are perfect and never need to be disciplined. It's terrible how disrespectful kids are now. When I was a kid, I would never dream of talking back to any adult.
1. Teach by example. respect them, respect the other parent aned strangers. Dont' just show them though. You have to point out what your'e doing and why each time.
2. Kids that are disrespectful are usually unhappy. Find the source.
I think for some kids it begins in bad parenting, but definately not all. Some parents try to be their friend versus setting rules and limits. But sometimes a parent can do all they can do and things still go this way. Some children have to push the limits for everything and you can't feel guilty about this.
Just be firm, and demand respect and hopefully they will get it. Show them right from wrong by setting examples, and follow through when they dont follow rules or are disrespectable.. It is a challenging task for some, believe me I know, but keep setting the rules and making them follow through and you will get through it....
I believe that parents are to caught up into being "liked" by their children. My partner raised his son by himself and he did this for so long. When I stepped in it was hard for me because I grew up very strict with discipline (I'm thankful for it). Imagine my stepson changed his report card grade in 5th grade and the same weeknd was watching TV and playing Playstation. Now that I am around there are clear consequences. I tell my son: Evertime you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence. Now when he lies, fails tests, has bad grades, we get calls from school, or catch him doing inappropriate things there is a punishment. I don't get why parents can't understand loving your child does not mean getting his/her approval. Parenting can be an ugly job at times but it must be done. You have an inner compass that leads you. Sometimes you have to be lenient or permissible other times you must ruel with an iron fist but still be loving. It's about balance. Parenting is hard but it is not a popularity contest. This is not highschool where you must be voted prom king/queen.
Not enough or no disciplinary actions at all, lack of communication skills, failure to correct and punish when needed, giving in to the child's every whim, not setting boundaries or rules, need I go on?
Basically the parents allow the child(ren) to run the roost and act as a friend to their child rather than a parent.
Parents don't teach their kids the reasons why others deserve respect just as they do. A good way to teach this is for the parent to treat others with respect (including the child and themselves), and to let the child know that they expect them to treat others with respect as well.
I wonder why you think parenting is the reason some kids don't respect others as they should? Let's not forget personal responsibility. I guess this depends on the age of the kid you are talking about too. A little one, say under age 6 should be under the control of his/her parents, but once that child takes off for school a whole host of other influences can cause this lack of respect you are asking about. Some respect issues are also just a side light of that child's personality. Some seeming disrespect can also be on the part of the one feeling disrespected. I have made a decision to never feel disrespected by anyone. Just because we think our feeling have been hurt doesn't mean the person doing the "hurting" meant to hurt. Maybe it was just the wrong word at the right time. Keep a positive attitude and the amount of disrespect you feel and see in life decreases immensely.
Both parents are more focused on their 'career' than raising children, therefore, the children are negelected and have to fend for themselves.
Or, the parents do NOT know how to raise children.
Or, the custodial parent is living on welfare and the social workers are telling them what to do and what not to do - as in discipline.
Or, children do live with parents and the parents are disrespectful and teach the same to their children.
Not enought discipline and not enough follow through. And parents allowing bad behavior to continue. I also have this notion that as our world gets busier and busier parents can't be bothered to take the time it needs to correct a disrespectful child. And then kids see their friends being disrespectful so they think it ok or even cool say a cycle begins.
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