My 14 year old son appears to be determined to flunk out of his charter program. we homeschool but a charter school provides us a teacher and a curriculum. We meet with the teacher again tomorrow. I am in the process of reading the book and have decided to make a new parenting plan over the holidays when my son will be with his Dad for 2 weeks. I have basically decided to let him flunk out of school. He is brilliant and very undisciplined. He might be bipolar, I don't know. There is some evidence that it runs in my family. But I have always eschewed traditional medical support. If he flunks out of school it rearranges my financial situation somewhat as I am single and still receive a portion of my income from his public benefits. I have decided to just find more part-time work, not a problem for me. This is very difficult but this site is helping me tremendously.
I am thinking he might be just like me, he needs to experience The School of Hard Knocks before he appreciates the value of an education. I know I have inappropriately taken responsibility for some of his schoolwork in the past, because I felt that some of his difficult circumstances were not his fault. But those days are over. The only limitations he has right now are those he is imposing on himself. I enjoy working (I work in education and child care) and I am looking forward to getting more money and more appreciation than I get from him these days.
5 comments:
Thats what 13-17 year old boys do, they only think of girls, and how to impress them, then they don't think of their school work, and try to be smooth and popular, nothing will do to help him, have you tried talking to him? Or hiring a teacher after school to come to your house, and tutor him?
It is teenage years. I have a 13 yr old, about to be 14 in Jan. These next few yrs. are going to be tough. My child was failing this year and to make a point I met with all her teachers at once with her present. They all said in front of her that they knew she could do better. After that meeting she started doing somewhat better. Then, she would slack on some of the homework or tests every now and then. So, I emailed on of the teacher's that she had made a very low grade on a test.( great way to keep in touch with teachers and students grades) I told her I knew the grade was there to stay...but was there anything else we could do to make a point. YOU HAVE TO STUDY AND DO HOMEWORK...the teacher made her memorize and recite a 20 line poem in front of the class. She was told there would be VERY strict consequences if she did not do this.(Private School)She did it and the teacher did give her extra credit. She is doing much better. This is a difficult time in their lives and they are trying to find independence from us and still be a little dependent at the same time. I am struggling to... I sure hope this is helpful. Prayer also helps.
You need to let him know the consequences of not doing his best. His friends will move up a grade, he won't. He'll have to stay in school longer. Set a time every day to look over his homework with him, and help him study. Set goals and reward him when he does well. Punish him when he doesn't. Limit his time doing fun things and have him study, or help around the house.
Try calling your local high school and asking for a male student that can help you. I recommend a male, because then it's someone he can and will look up to. They'll probably be able to find a male that wants to go into education and is on the honor roll that would be willing to help you. Try a local college if you can't get a tutor at the highs school level. if that fails, sometimes teachers do tutoring after school, especially the younger ones.
I hope you get everything fixed and he understands he needs to do well.
I have a friend whose son wasn't doing well in 6th grade so he decided to hold him back a year. Well now his son is in 11th grade and he is doing great. He makes A's and B's and the dad said it's the best decision he ever made to hold his son back a year. Maybe you should just let your son stay back a year and maybe it will make a difference too.
I really feel for you. 14 year old boys are hard to deal with. I really did not like my son at that age.He was rude and disrespectful..opposite of the kind of child he had always been. You have to pick your battles with them. You cannot fight every issue that comes along, decide what will make a diference in his life and maybe let some of the small stuff slide for now. As far a tutoring...I think the after school program sounds good. You may also check with the councelor at your local high school and see if you can find a student to help. My children were in the National Honor Society and they tutored students in various subjects. Some of ther teachers in our school also offer tutoring services, but often a kid will respond better to another kid and see that doing good in school is not just for nerds.. Cool kids make good grades too...
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