Trouble with the law...
I am a single mother of 2 boys 19 and 21. They are both in trouble with the law, one for dangerous driving and criminal harassment (for a girl that left him). The other is also going to be charged with harassment (about a girl again). I myself have MS and Lupus and am very stressed out from these 2 boys. Their father abandoned them at 11 and 13, but I was always here for them. What can I do? If i kick them out, they have nowhere to go, but I feel like they are killing me prematurely.
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3 comments:
This will not be what you want to hear but the best thing you can do for your sons is have them move out. It's called "tough love" and is the hardest thing you can do but it is the only thing you can really do at this time as he is out of control. That isn't your fault nor can YOU fix your son's problems. I am really sorry to tell you that. Deep down, I suspect you already know that there will be no magic solution to this problem and that the only solution that is workable at this time is his removal from your home. You may have to call the police to have him move. As time goes on, he should get his head on straight but I won't lie to you, it won't be easy for you for a while as he will probably say some horrible things to you and blame you for all of his troubles. After some time alone, he won't have you to blame and may realize that his problem is the person he sees in the mirror.
The best thing you can do is separate homes at this time. Truly. It will be hard but the right choice usually is the hardest.
I understand that you dont want to throw him out and because of your health issues you want to bond with him, BUT you can not control him or his ways. You should NOT have him in your home if he is not going to be respectful, reasonalbe and behave like he has some since. You obviously dont need the extra stress and I wouldnt have such a person in my home. (son or not)
Time to say, Adios, son. He is an adult, is treating you with disrespect. Tell him to get out... Set a time limit and stick to it, I don't care how much he whines, cries, promises to do better...I suspect he is hooked on drugs (change of personality)...and you do not need this in your life. IF he refuses, call the sheriff and have him removed...Get a restraining order, for he just might come back to rob you. Druggies do some very wierd stuff. THis is not your fault, and it is not your responsibility. Time for Tough Love, Sorry to be so blunt, but you have no recourse. Good luck
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