There is a big difference in the physical and social maturity of a 13 and a 17 yr. old. I agree that you have reason to be concerned about your daughter engaging in a relationship with someone older than them especially at that age. If you don't approve, you need to sit down and talk to her about the reasons why. Make sure your voice tone is calm and non-accusatory. Let her know that you're not mad at her, but are only concerned about her well-being and want to teach her what a healthy and appropriate relationship looks like. It's natural that your daughter would be angry at you. It's easy for teens to get blinded by what they think is love and feel like their life is over if that love ends. I know it must be difficult for you right now to take the brunt of your daughter's anger. It certainly doesn't feel good. Know that in the long run she will understand why you made the choices you did and she will be greatful for your protection. Stay firm with your decision and be available for her to talk about her feelings with you when she calms down. You mentioned that you're afraid she will run away or try to hurt herself. Has she done this in the past? If she has a pattern of dealing with her feelings this way it's important that you keep a close eye on her and make an appointment for her to talk to either the school counselor or an outside therapist. Even if she's just threatening to do these things to try to get you to reverse your decision, you need to get her help so she knows you take her threats very seriously.As always, you can call our crisis line to talk to someone more about your daughter's situation at 1-800-448-3000.
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