Online Parent Support Chat

Am I being stupid...

Should I allow my teenage boy (13) to go to Lincoln Park concert with 18 yr old girl?
Crystal and my son LOVE Lincoln Park and they have been saving for the special event. They are buying great seats. They will both have cell phones. Am I being stupid to allow this?

4yr. old diagnosed with adhd/odd...

my daughter has cp, got married to man who's family has mental disabilities, he does but now he's gone she and i are left with two children. the 4yr. has been diagnosed with adhdodd.the 10 month old has been showing signs of anger and is slow in learning even tho he has not been diagnosed. my q? how can i help ggranddaughter? i dont know how to deal with the odd. i want go into detail about me but i will say that i am her caretaker and I need help.so does her mom please advise me.HELP. there's more but not enough room. HELP PLEASE.

im worried...

im worried about my 16 year old G-DAUGHTER SHE IS TROUBLED HAS BEEN BEATEN UP/IVE BEEN THREATENED BY THE PEOPLE SHE HANGS WITH BUT SHE HAS NO SELFWORTH SHE WAS ATTACKED ON THE BUS/SHE IS SAD ANGRY/IM AT A LOSS I TELL HER DAILY I LOVE HER

8 year old keeps running out of lessons...

I have an 8 year old that keeps running out of his lessons. He's diagnosed with ADHD maybe ODD (not convinced). He recently started taking concerta (last three weeks). He found it hard to swallow and was biting it until yesterday. He still bunks most of his classes or walks out of them.

We also have a psychiatrist that is trying to deal with his anger management. Through school he gets a lesson once a week an art therapy lesson with two other boys from his year. This is the only lesson he never misses.

My husband and I are at our wits end. We have another boy who is now 11 and has calmed down a lot (he takes Ritalin since 4th grade) but is def. ODD, when the two of them are together they fight and hurt each other. There is an older daughter in the family (13) and she gets beaten up by the little one.

One more thing. Although I work 4 days a week I work horrible hours (its a temp job for a couple of months) but it means that I see him twice a week before bed for about an hour and twice a week I dont see him at night. In the morning I'm in charge of getting him to school and it takes him forever to get ready.

Please dont suggest that I look for another job it's not very realistic and my Husband sees him much more than he did before because he has to come home early on account that I come late.

Thanks for reading all the above any suggestions?

Sleeping with a 30-year-old man...

What would you do if you found out your 18-year-old daughter was sleeping with a 30-year-old man?

Christmas problems?

Every christmas i have the same problem, my parents are divorced and my mum lives alone. my mum is very ill with arthritis and can hardly move, i have a brother but may aswell not when it comes to helping out with my mum.

My husband is very caring and understanding when it comes to my mum, but i think as the years have gone on and weve spent each xmas with my mum hes patient are starting to wear. Hes parents live in manchester and where down south, last year we tried to do the two in one day (xmas day) but it just didnt work,so we always see them boxing day. There also very understanding but i still feel guilty.

I have to spend xmas with my mum, im all she has and shes understandably suffering from depression so not being there isnt an option. I suggested this year my husband go to his parents with the children and i stay at my mums, but he doesnt want to be without me!

i know there isnt really a solution, just wondered if anyone was looking forward to next week as much as me!!

Help!

help! I have a 17 year old junior in high school who has to control everything, wants to graduate early because she hates high school and thinks she is ready for local college her senior year, driving on her own, etc. while her father and I thinks she lacks maturity and don't know why she wants to speed things up. She isn't a spectacular student, is very stubborn. We are trying to meet with her school counselor but she sees no need because she has to control everything and won't listen to reason to anyone. Help!

I'm scared to let him go...

My son wants to go on Ski trip with the church youth group the day after christmas, keep in mind we live at the bottom of Georgia and this trip is to West Virginia for a week, I have never let my son go anywhere without me out of town, Im scared to let him go and cant quit thinking about what could happen like car wreck, getting hurt without me there oh I could go on and on....He is 15 now as of 2 weeks ago!

He says Im being paranoid am I?

Determined to flunk out...

My 14 year old son appears to be determined to flunk out of his charter program. we homeschool but a charter school provides us a teacher and a curriculum. We meet with the teacher again tomorrow. I am in the process of reading the book and have decided to make a new parenting plan over the holidays when my son will be with his Dad for 2 weeks. I have basically decided to let him flunk out of school. He is brilliant and very undisciplined. He might be bipolar, I don't know. There is some evidence that it runs in my family. But I have always eschewed traditional medical support. If he flunks out of school it rearranges my financial situation somewhat as I am single and still receive a portion of my income from his public benefits. I have decided to just find more part-time work, not a problem for me. This is very difficult but this site is helping me tremendously.

I am thinking he might be just like me, he needs to experience The School of Hard Knocks before he appreciates the value of an education. I know I have inappropriately taken responsibility for some of his schoolwork in the past, because I felt that some of his difficult circumstances were not his fault. But those days are over. The only limitations he has right now are those he is imposing on himself. I enjoy working (I work in education and child care) and I am looking forward to getting more money and more appreciation than I get from him these days.

Adopted Daughter

my daughter is 15 and we have addopted her she seems so sweet and nice. But only When she wants something. but latly she has been yelling and srceaming at me and my husband. Normaly she is scraming at me not her father she is his baby girl. she is so mad at all of us for somehing she dosn't talk she is starting to cut herself on the arm.
and we love her some much and she knows that we give her all the help we can. we told her that she can always talk to us but she never does we did every thing we can

I NEED HELP! specially parents (my 14 yr old)?

well i have a big problem with my 14 yr old actually i am using her account since i dnt have a YA! so i am usin my daughters.

anyway this is what happend her teacher came to my house and haded me the paper which my kid had done and this is how she had handed in 600 lines given to her by her class teacher

""i will not misbehave in class or disturb the class ever again and i will learn to respect my elders" x 600

it is quite funny but i cannot just let it pass she is 14 years and cnt go around behavin like this her behavior is very bad and she is very naughty espesially in school she is a bit smarter than her age but i am certainly not pleased with her behaviour.

my question is can anyone tell me a suitable punishment for my 14 year old mischievous dauhter?

Locking child in room?

My fiance's baby's mother has no control over her 3 yr old. She lives with us and spends the night with her mother once in a blue moon. (Because she lives with these random people, she does not have a permanent place to stay) Recently the mother told my fiance that she had to lock the little one in her room because she refused to listen to her and take a nap. A baby gate was not used to lock her in there, she switched the door knob around and actually shut the door and locked it from the outside.

Is it ever appropriate to lock a child in their room if they will not take a nap, or go to bed?

When the little one is with us we NEVER shut the door to her room and she stays in her bed and does as we say.

They are going to court soon to get a custody agreement and visitation figured out.
I know this is my fiance's problem and he has talked to the mother about that but had gotten nowhere with that.

I'm just looking for insight and to see if other parents or caretakers do this.

15 year old daughter...

i have a 15 year old daughter that smokes ciggarettes and pot. I also suspect alcohol. But now i fear she is having sex. my wife seems to think she is going to do these things whether i like it or not. i dont know what to do i am angry

Running Away?

I think if your kids runaway you should talk to them if they say that they are goin to runaway because there are alot of kids in the world that run and never come back.

Pro's and con's of being a teen parent???

I am doing a paper on teen parents/pregnancies. I would like it if as many people as possible could give me as many pro's and con's of being a teen parent as they can.
All answers accepted. Thanks to everyone in advance! You've all been a great help so far!

ODD

Oppositional Defiant Child need help!?

Please I don't want negative replies. I need startegies that other parents have used to help with a oppositional defiant child. She is 10 and is on Zoloft and Focalin and you can tell a difference when she doesn't take her meds. She is a honor roll student and does Cheerleading in the fall and swimming or dance in the spring. She is involved in her student council. She has been tested by different therapists and has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD.

Trouble with the law...

I am a single mother of 2 boys 19 and 21. They are both in trouble with the law, one for dangerous driving and criminal harassment (for a girl that left him). The other is also going to be charged with harassment (about a girl again). I myself have MS and Lupus and am very stressed out from these 2 boys. Their father abandoned them at 11 and 13, but I was always here for them. What can I do? If i kick them out, they have nowhere to go, but I feel like they are killing me prematurely.

15yr old stepson...

Im not even sure how to do this. I have a 15yr old stepson who is out of control. He runs away from home for up to three days without us not knowing were he has been or what he has been doing? I hear when he is out he is out breaking windows of other peoples car windows. He thinks that he can physically fight with both his father and I. He is constantly picking on and hitting his yournger brother. He has a therapist that he talks to but all he does is lie to her. He lies to us steals his fathers money. He is failing most of his classes and the ones that he is passing he is barily passing. And for some reason with all this going on he really believes that he is doing nothing wrong. Please if someone has anything they want to say or know of any programs (which wont break my bank I dont have alot of money) I would really appreciate it. Thank you

Son Arrested

Hi my son got arrested this morning? I'm not a bad mother or anything and i do try my best but i find boys will be boys. This is the first time he's been arrested and has been there since 9.00 am and i just need help with info on how long they can keep a minor? he's 15yrs.

I am torn...

Since I have begun working the program with my 15 yr.old son, He is emphatic about going to live with his Dad. Of course at Dad's house there is very little structure and even less accountability. I am torn between fighting the good fight,which is accelerated due to this and just letting him go and learn he hard way. But at what cost? Anyone with any insight please speak up.

Asperger's Syndrome

I have a 13 year old boy who has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Recently he has been having a lot of anger issues at school and keeps tearing up whatever he has in his hands. Today it was his lunch box because his routine was interrupted. Most of the time it is his school work or folder or book. I don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions?

How do I get through what will be the toughest Christmas ever?

How do I get through what will be the toughest Christmas ever? This will be the first Christmas since our daughter passed away from leukemia and I have NO idea how I am going to get through it. I love Christmas and I have been trying so hard to push these feelings down so that our other kids can enjoy, but today it all came back. My 3yr old asked me if his sister would be back for Christmas(he hasn't mentioned her for a while) and it broke my heart to tell him no. I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of many more questions. Any ideas on how to deal with one of the worst times of my life while making it a fun and joyful one for my kids?

I do see a therapist and medication is available, but I'm trying to minimize it.

Out of control teen...

I have an out of control teen what do i do? She gives her teacher a hard time but yet her grades are all B's. She doesn't listen to me and she things every thing I tell her is up for agreement.

Spanking at 16?

Is spanking a child at 16 years old too old? ...what other punishment can be used?

Out of control 16 year old...

I have an out of control 16 year old son who defies us on everything, we ask him to do something as simple as walk the dog and it turns into a full fledge argument and he states "we can't make him" What do I do?

Moving out?

my daughter intends to move out of the house to a friends -is there some way I can stop her?

SHE IS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL

YES IM HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY 14 YR OLD STEP DAUGHTER ...SHE IS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL ...DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ...WELL I HAVE A STEP CHILD OUT OF CONTROL IM LOST WONT GO TO SCHOOL I EVEN TAKE HER IN PERSONALLY AND SHE LEAVES. DOES POT LIES MAKES UP STORIES TO THE SCHOOL. SHE EVEN PUNCHED HERSELF IN THE FACE AND SAID SOMEONE CAME IN THE SCHOOL AND PUNCHED HER TO GET OUT. POLICE AND EVERYONE WAS INVOLVED AND SHE LIED

Dating

I have a question about what age people let their kids or teens date?
Why do people think its cute letting their little kids date or have little boyfriends or girlfriends. In my opinion you guys are just screwing with their heads.

Parent's have you heard about SB777?

To keep this kinda brief... SB777 is a referendum that was signed into law by the Gov in Ca. This bill is gonna pave the way for one-sided views on sexual orientation to be implemented in the classroom, while at the same time deeming contrary views as fostering a " discriminatory bias". If this gets passed into law then as early as 2008 grades K-12 ALL SCHOOLS WILL BE FORCED!

To positively, teach about homosexuality, bisexual and transgender student issue's. If it's not stopped.... SB777 is clear that... NO TEACHER INSTRUCTION and NO SCHOOL ACTIVITY, could "Reflect" or "Promote" a "DISCRIMINATORY BIAS AGAINST ANY PERSON...." Who is homosexual, bisexual or transgender...

What SB777 Does... IS SILENCE ALL OPPOSITION TO IT... and Teacher would be "FORCED" to "PROMOTE" homosexuality!

I'm not against anyone and the life that they choose, But I am against them teaching that to my 5yr. old

Grandmothers Making (raising) Irresponsible Parents?

Are Grandmothers Making (raising) Irresponsible Parents?????????
When they want to do everything with their grand/daughter/son?
When they want to keep them 24-7 therefore leaving the parent with no responsibility? Buying them everything and not teaching them any value?
Babysitting for the parents, when they are doing nothing and watching t.v all day long?

How can I end this...

Hi......I have a 16yr old daughter, who refuses to listen to anything I say. She will not get up for school, she takes off when I am sleeping or just laughs in my face when I say anything. I try to get her dad to help, but he never has time. I have done everything but put my hands on her. How can I end this every single day fight.

Daughter is out of control...

my daughter is out of control and doesnt listen to me or her father, what do i do?

im trying to help her...

ok my friend who is staying with me, and her 2 kids ages 5 and 8 who SCREAM at the top of there lungs when its bedtime....im trying to help her move into an apartment, long story, but i have 2 other tenants here, and i dont need any trouble please help !!!!!!

Question about Step-children?

My fiance and I have three children total. I have one son from a previous relationship and he has two daughters. We have his daughters every weekend, but we are making a transition to having is oldest here permanently. My son and his oldest daughter are the same age and in the same class at school.

The problem I'm having is this...all of our children are spoiled rotten. We both have given each other permission to punish all the children as we see fit. Tonight his daughter was crying to go to her granmother's house and he would not give in. After she was asleep he came in and told me that she was just too spoiled. I agreed and told him that it was our fault because she has been living with her grandmother since before we got together. He went completely off on me! Asked how dare I call his child spoiled when mine is just as bad. But the thing is I simply agreed with him!! I did not say anything other than what he had already said and it started a HUGE argument!

She became a real pain...

My now 14 yr. old daughter has been seeing a boy for past 7 mths. - her whole attitude changed & she became a real pain to deal with, after he had really shown his true colors at her birthday party 3 wks. ago- I explained my concerns, which lead to a very defensive conversation on her part & she ending up yelling at me in his defense-- in turn I explained that she could now only see him at school, but that she will no longer see or speak to him outside of school-- & 3 weeks later- the fight still rages on-- she is so angry with me.. I dated a boy just like him when I was her age until I was 17, she had made it clear that she had no intentions of ending the relationship on her own- so after I had my declaration of no longer allowing her contact with him outside of school- she chose to break it off. Am I wrong? In the meantime, she has a bestfriend that is a boy whom the entire family adores- & who is absolutely crazy over her- & she him to! o- I think, but still rebelling against my forcing ehr hand with the EX, she won't give the little guy a chance & continues to lead him around like a lost puppy-- I feel so bad for him & so angry with her.. Have i meddled too much? HELP

Risk of failing...

my son is ok at home, doesn't do any work in school and is at risk of failing 9th grade. no amount of praise/discipline/coordinated effort with school is having an effect. any suggestions?

Any points?

My daughter's not obeying me. Any points? Please listen now. My daughter is not obeying whatever i tell her. Please help me.

14yr old daughter is out of control...

i have 7 children from 3 to 16yrs old. my 14yr old daughter is out of control. everytime she is asked to clean up after herself or do anything she starts off crying which leads to abuse. she swears and calls names, says terrible things to her siblings like they are fat and ugly and that i dont love them. she says she hopes i die in an accident and screams uncontrollably like she is being murdered for hours. she follows me around the house ranting and wont stay in her room, and when she is in her room she smashes holes in the wall. she gets physically violent hitting me with objects and has attacked her stepfather. these outbursts can last for days non stop. we had her admitted to a mental health unit at one stage for 3 days and they said she has possible odd. the last episode we called the police and she told them we abuse her and other terrible things, she is quite an actress and i am not sure if they believed us. she hasnt gone to school! for nearly a year claiming she cant as she gets picked on and the school end up calling me to take her home as she is hysterical in the office and unreasonable. she ended up beating the head bully but still says she cant go to school. the only thing she is disciplioned with is her dancing which she does 3 or 4 days a week. she is quite good. last outburst i had enough as i was bruised and sore and couldnt take any more so i took her phone and playstation (after repeated warning) and threw them away. she screamed so badly the nieghbours complained. i then told her dance teacher she will not be going to her concert and why. my daughter is devistated they know and said she will never face them again and wishes she was dead as she has nothing to live for. did i do the right thing? i think i should see how her behaviour goes and let her dance the concert. i dont know what to do as this is affecting my whole family and my 16yr old wants to leave home because of this.

How do I get it through her head?

My 7 year year old is being very disrespectful. I need some ideas to show her that it is not right to disrespect people. Talking to her is not working. Does anyone have any ideas?

She doesnt have anything else to take away. I have taken everything I can from here. I just need to find a creative way to get it through her head. I have talk to her and that just doesnt seem to work.

Daughter's boyfriend moves in...

Do you know anyone that let their daughter's boyfriend move in? My 18-year-old friend's parents let her boyfriend move in. My friend is a high school dropout. My friend and her mother are Conservative Born-Again Christians so I don't get it.

I normally wouldn't care but my friend makes negative remarks about her older half-sister being a single mom.

She and her boyfriend share a room.

Myspace

According to CNN.com a 13 year old girl made friends with a guy named Josh....he later broke off their friendship and she commited suicide the next day....come to find out Josh was made up but they know that it was someone affliacted with the girl...........Do you think Myspace is too advanced for children under 16......what are your views on Myspace and the other websites like it?

Mother in the middle...

What do you do when your oldest daughter and her father don't / can't work out anything and you as the mother are in the middle?

Teen threatening to kill parents...

Does anyone know of any legal organisations that will take a case for an out of control teen threatening to kill his parents? Talking from the parents perspective. Does no one care about parental safety? I understand the child protection means that the child is the main priority, which is only right. But I'm wondering what legal stance we have if our Son is threatening to kill us. Do we have to wait until we become a statistic before something is done?

What's a step mother to do?

My husband's exwife recently send their 13 yr old son to live with us because she couldn't "take it anymore". Come to find out he was failing every class and had in school suspension for "paraphaneila" on the bus. It has been hell the last 2 weeks with him. Found out he was dx with A.D.D. over a year ago but there has been no intervention. My husband doesn't want to "label" him and doesn't want to "medicate" him. But I am the one at school every day and I am the one doing homework with him every night. What's a step mother to do?

Consequences and punishments mean nothing to them...

I have an 18 yo son who is a senior in high school who refuses to get a job, go to school, follow the rules or stop smoking pot with his friends in my house. My 17 yo daughter is a co-hort in all this as well. I also have a 13 yo son who is drug counseling to get him to stop smoking pot (his older siblings apparently started him on this) but they continue to have their friends in my house when I am at work and when my 13 yo is home. The 13 yo calls me at work to tell me of this. I call home to tell them to get everyone out. Then they retaliate on the 13 yo both mentally and physically. I am at the end of my rope with these two and don't know what to do. Consequences and punishments mean nothing to them. Any advice would be grateful.
Thanks!
Tina

Ditching a class...

My son is ditching a class called Access, which is designed for students that are failing. He refuses to go and says its not worth his time. He is 16 and parents are divorced. Any suggestions?

How do u get ur kids to listen to you?

my kids are 2 and 3 but they absolutely refuse to listen to me. i have tried time out, spanking taking privileges away... nothing seems to be working. got any suggestions?

Teenager hates school...

Teenager hates school ...won't do her work ...says she don't give a shit ...very
saucy.

My Space

Read my son's web "my space" ...after 3 hours finally came clean ...A gal he knows is cutting and suicidal ...Her post was 5 days ago but consistent over last several months. She attends a different school ...have only a first name but know the school.
NOW WHAT?

I know he can be a good kid...

Let me start by telling you a little bit about my son. He is 16 years old. He gets excellent grades. He finished up last year with a 4.3 and he currently has straight A's in school (taking all honor/college prep classes). I know he can be a good kid...I have seen it before. I know he has a good head on his shoulders and knows the difference between right and wrong. As soon as he turned 16, he got a job all on his own. He is a hard dedicated worker. He bought himself a car and makes the payments on it.

These are the problems we have been having lately. We know he is having sex. We know he is giving a recieving oral sex before, during, and after school. We know he is drinking alcohol. He is driving his car at speeds well over 100mph. He won't follow any rules around here......from simple things like sending a text message when he gets somewhere safely.to feeding his own dog (he let the dog starve while we were out of town for 3 days)...to.....well he just won't follow any rules at all! He thinks the rules are stupid! He can't understand why we have rules. We try to tell him he will have rules throughout his entire life....he doesn't get that.....says he does fine without rules when we are gone. He admits that he has no conscience....he says to have a concience....you have to care about things...he doesn't care. The things he says are scarey.......to put it mildly. He does as he pleases...when he pleases. He has told us he is here to make himself happy and that is it! That ! is all that matters. Yes, I DO want him to be happy! But not like this! Not dead on the highway.....or drunk somewhere doing who knows what.......or ruining his future by a pregnancy......or who knows.

I am so worried. I really don't know what to do. Everything you try to tell him....he turns it back around on you....it is so hard to talk to him.....nothing is his fault....nothing is his responsibility....he is a smart kid.....smart and manipulative.....

I'm at a loss......just basically floating around in fear of what I will find out next. Is there any advice you can give me????

I also have a daughter. She will be 18 next month. Totally the opposite of my son. How did that happen?

Thanks for listening :0) <<>>> Pattie

No solid food...

My 3yr old daughter not yet started solid food...tried hard, she wants to eat but cant eat enough...even cant swallow solids, started going to school...Im worried what to
do...how to start...TRIED HARD. THANX Mom.

I DO NOT CARE...

I hope some one can help me out. I have a 15 yr old son. He don't like to have rules let alone follow them. His main saying is I DO NOT CARE.

Problems with my 18 yr old daughter...

For the past couple of months I been having problems with my 18 yr old daughter. She been sneeking around seeing a guy. For some reason she would not bring the guy home to meet her father and myself. This past weekend she left home and did not return. We filed a missing person report. She came home while her father and I was at work to pack up her belongings. I knew she was seeing someone that was up to no good. I now thinks she is using drugs. I gave her a choice to leave the state to visit relatives. We took her to the airport, but she never made it to the other state. Somehow she retrieved her suit case and was on the run again. Any suggestions?

Defiant and resentful...

I have a 15 year old daughter that is completely defiant and resentful. She blames herself for her dad and I being divorced (when she was 2) and she "hates" her dad right now. She is really up and down in the emotional department with me. I am actually in the middle of a custody suit to regain physical custody of her. She has been living with me and my husband for going on 6 years (shelived with her dad for about 2 years). She is using very foul language to my face, throwing objects, and removing herself from anything that has to do with spending time with any other than her friends unless we make her. She is now on meds and sees a psychologist. She tells me he doesn't help, but he tells me that she talks about lots of things when they are in session. She was also molested by a neighbor in her dads house when she lived with him and waited to tell me over the summer when she came to visit. I know she has a lot going on, but she shows no respect, no organization, no responsibility, and she lies habitually. I am suppose to start teaching her to drive in a few weeks and at this point I am not even willing to do that because I cannot trust her anymore. I will say that she has 6 A's, 1 B and 1 C which is good, so she is carrying good grades. I just don't know what to do and I need help.

Thank you for listening.

Was this the right way to control my son?

I have an nineteen month old toddler, whom I stay at home with all of the time, he's not in daycare. Last night, I was sitting on the couch beside him and he was lying down because he had felt sick all weekend (stomach virus). He then got up, walked over to me, put his mouth on my arm and bit down as hard as he could it left teeth imprints and even a small rash the next day. I pulled him off of my arm, told him firmly "no you don't bite" took him to his room with the lights off and closed the door. That is the only form of time out I can use, it actually works. Then a few minutes later, I went to his room, he came out and I told him "you don't bite, that hurts, do you understand" he just sniffled and I kept repeating until he looked me in the eyes to let him know I was serious. Then he walked into the living room, laid on the couch, I ignored him and began cleaning the kitchen, and he fell asleep. Did I do this right? I was stunned, but hope he doesn't repeat this behavior. Advice?

WHAT DO I SAY

WHAT DO I SAY...

Short version: 11th grader has been exhibiting what I would describe as familiar behaviors after reading the board here: increasing isolation, increased entitlement issues, increasing under achieving, violent outbursts, depression, some obsessive personality. We have struggled with definiing exactly what is normal teenage angst and what would be real problem. Within the last 7 months these behaviors escalated,incredibly. Violent outburst because verbal abuse, then property abuse and now we have had 3 incidents of physical abuse that are escalating in nature. We started outside intervention with counselor/mentor situation after 2nd but obviously we waited too long. Last night, his physical attack resulted in councelor recommending him for involuntary commitment (we did not want to press legal charges).

Please understand, I am operating on no sleep and am emotionaly exhausted and feeling really lost. 2nd counselor (ER assessment) also recommend commitment after seeing! interaction. Both counselors and ER doc felt that this would be a very temp situation for a much need psyche evaluation and would also service to get the family in safe place while setting up necessary intensive support services for him to come home. He is a very good kid but the concern is the impulse control he is losing.

Intake at facility he was admitted to did not go well, I guess the Dr was not at his best at 5:30 in the AM but he went from absolutely refusing to admitting him to telling son that he will be here for (2) weeks at minimum.

The plan was to use the 2-3 the needed evaluation as well as find a local respit home that could accept him when things seemed to escalate here at home. (He has no problems in school, other than wanting to skate through just doing homework, so counselor really did not want to upset this dynamic.) Also, those targeted including son would begin individual and also whole family begin family therapy. (We were just beginning the family therapy before this incident).

I was told son would be permited to call me this AM, which he did and he is in a state of panic. I just kept telling him that we love him, we miss him and are looking forward to having him come home soon. He understands (now) that we all need to make changes. <>

I can't make him feel good about this situation but I am trying to encourage him to be honest and candid during his evaluation tomorrow AM.Current counselor and ER Councelor have both stated they would call evaluator tomorrow AM to give their observations. I am also telling him to be cooperative with staff and learn the rules and apply them. I've talked to his nurse twice now and she states he is doing better.

My question: I want what is best for my whole family (husband, siblings, self) as well as him. I do not want to lie to him and I definately do not want him to think he is going through this alone. But I do not want to give him false hope especailly given what the intake DR told him. And that is the problem, he is wanting me to tell him I'm going to fix it and make everything all right. Does anybody have any words of encouragement that I can share with him while we take this one day at a time?

What should teachers be allowed to do...

I'm a teacher at Southside Middle School in CA. What should teachers be allowed to do and/or not do to discipline students. Do you think teachers have enough rights to discipline or have these rights been taken away? Do student rights prevent proper discipline?

Mad Mom

i, at times, hit out in anger at my two girls under six years of age ...help

What to do about him and trouble at school?

My son's 5 years old & in kindergarten. He's been in daycare his whole life. When he was going to daycare he was always getting in trouble for acting out, not minding, bothering & hitting other kids. Now he's in school & he's had to go to the principal's office more than once & had to sit out of recess as well as have detention. He sometimes won't pay attention during class.(twirling around, falling out of his chair repeatedly & so forth) He also plays rough w/kids...pushing, hitting, etc & that's why he has to go to the office. Him & I talk about this ALL the time & he gets grounded, his toys taken away, etc. It doesn't seem to help. I don't understand why he won't behave so he can stay out of trouble. He's a sweet boy(i know it probably doesn't sound like it) but he is. He's happy & pretty much always stays in a good mood. He's pretty hyper though, always bouncing & running around. He's always on the move & he has a hard time minding me as well so it's not just at school.

ADHD

Both of my brothers are ADHD and me and my sisters may be borderline, though we've never been diagnosed with it. It's good to diagnose it, I think, because even if you don't medicate for it, you can discuss your child's learning patterns with their teachers. (For me, I was always getting in trouble in church and school, because I would draw during lessons, which would actually focus my mind on what the teacher was saying. But teachers would get the opposite idea and take away my pencil and paper, and reprimand me for not paying attention.....and as soon as they did that, my brain would wander off, not having anything to focus on.)

ATTITUDE PROBLEM

I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT MY SON AND HIS ATTITUDE PROBLEM ..HE WILL NOT LISTEN WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO DO SOMETHING ...HE STARTS YELLING AND HITTING THINGS ...CLOSES DOORS REAL HARD ...SAYS WE ARE NOT HIS PARENTS AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH US ...WHAT CAN I DO?

He doesn't come home...

What is a appropriate punishment for a teenager who doesn't come home at night?

Alleging sexual abuse...

Does anyone have experiences with a teenager with aspergers alleging sexual abuse by one of their parents?

No medical insurance...

I have a 12 year old boy with ODD. Having trouble in school/life...no medical insurance. Needing help.

Inappropriate pictures of a 13 yo girl...

I have found inappropriate pictures of a 13 yo girl on my 13 yo boy's phone, they do no show more than the beach but they are seductive poses. I want to notify the mother but the name on the pictures is not the true name of the girl as I happened to know her and her mother. I think I know the girls name but it is an educated guess . do i contact that mom or just delete the pictures? How do other parents deal with all the cell phone issues? thanks for any help

I really need to talk with someone...

Hey is anyone online ...I am having alot of trouble with my 15 year old daughter, I really need to talk with someone ...I feel like I am crazy ...I feel all alone.

9 year old is the most difficult...

I am a mom of 3 boys ages 9, 7 and almost 2. My 9 year old is the most difficult for me to deal with. He is extremely oppositional. He fights with his 7 year old brother much of the time. The 7 year old has come to exhibit a lot of his defiant behaviors as well. They both seem very angry. To make matter worse, their dad, my husband, was diagnosed a year ago with Alzheimers Disease, and I feel like a single parent these days. He has a very hard time dealing with their defiance and battles with them, so that sometimes I feel like there's 4 kids instead of 3! I love them, but feel like running away these days and never looking back. I'm terrified of how they'll be when they reach adolescence, if I have little control now. I've had my oldest in therapy off and on over the years, tried various medications. He's very smart and popular at school and behaves well at school. I feel like a failure, because their behavior seems reserved ! mainly for us. What can I do? This seems like an impossible situation!

A lot of trouble...

I am having a lot of trouble with my teenage daughter and don't know what to say,do or handle this very well. Please someone give me some advice. It would much appreciated.

Daughter was self mutilating and using illegal drugs...

In May I found out my daughter was self mutilating and using illegal drugs. We found a treamtent facility went into counseling individual and family. Placing her in treatment was very hard but I truelly believed this could help my daughter. Continued doing random drug test. My 14 year old thinks that I take everyone away that she becomes involved with and I'm too strict. She developed a relationship with a neighbor lady twice her age. We continued random drug testing and out of 4 she only passed 1. This resulted in continued monitoring, little freedom. She become more and more verbal towards me. Her pshychologist diagnosed her with Bi-Polar and she was given Zoloft. I tried to ensure she took this daily. Her father (not in the home)never got involved with any of the counseling and refused to believe she had problems beyond being a teenager. She wanted to live with him as she is free to do as she wants. After 8 months it came to a head w! here she verbally and physically attacted me. My husband and I felt we had no other choice but to let her go live with her father as it was becoming to much not only for us but 2 younger children in the home. She claims she hates me and I'm the worst mother in the world. She refusesto call me adn I dont know wether to give it time or if she truelly does hate me. Was I too strict? I feel like a total failure as a mother. What can I do to help make things better yet let my daughter know I love her but I am the mother and she is the child and there is consequences for all actions both good and bad. Also she is no longer taking her meds nor in counseling as her father doesnt feel she needs them.

Adult-Minor Dating

Maybe I'm just being over-protective or maybe not. Over a year ago my daughter and the neighbor boy fell for each other and I found out that everyone was hiding it from me including my wife. Thank God my 8 y/o son told me. When I asked why nobody told me about it they replied that I would have freaked out about it. Well I did'nt freak out about it but I was so upset that all of them kept it from me. Now at the time my wife and I were having problems in our marraige and I was staying back and forth at from my mom's and our house while we worked things out between us. So I gathered everyone together ( his parents, my wife and daughter, and this boy) and i expressed to them that I wanted it to end and I explained to them why I, as her father, feel this way. I knew that one day this boy would be 18 and my daughter just turning 15. Now, this boy is not a bad kid and he does'nt get into trouble. He works and is active in ROTC and school activities as well....BUT.....there's more!!

This boy has already had sex and smoked pot and probably alcohol. Well, just a couple of weeks ago I found out that she had a hicky on her neck from him so I go over to confront all of them and my wife told me to leave or she was calling the police. I told her that their relationship was over because he just turned 18 that day and she told me "No it's not"! So now i have nobody to support me on this. I don't know what I can do as I only have visitation rights to my children. It's killing me that I have to just sit back and watch this all unfold and my hands are tied I feel. What should I do or should I just let whatever happens happen?

She has until August of next year to give consent and I'm afraid that she being so young and him being experienced, that she will do what it takes to keep him from leaving her and if it means sex then well....I hate to think she'll consent too early. It pisses me off!

Our laws state that she can consent at age 16 which next august. But why should I wait until it happens to do anything about it. I'm trying to be proactive and not reactive.

Caught downloading porno...

I caught my 16 year old son downloading porno from the net?

My wife flipped out.

I told her wtf, its just porn and he's 16 -- they are consenting adults in the pictures and its just sex, maybe he could learn something. So I showed him the sites I go to.

How bad is it -- its not like the kid is 12.

What do you think?

Re: Grounding

At what age does a teenage get to no longer get the "being grounded" punishment?

Friend's son has been diagnosed w/ODD...

My best friend's son has been diagnosed w/ODD. I'm looking for a way to help her to have him removed from the home. The current situation is where the parents fear for their lives, the child does recieve therapy, has also been placed in mental hospitals (average stay 4-7 days) he has a social worker, a probation officer, has been in front of a judge numerous times because of his behavior, the school however protects him even after all the incidents that have happened, kicking a child intentionally in the face, choking a child on the bus for 2 years, parents had no knowledge until other parent didn't get resolution from the principal called the police, HOW CAN I HELP THEM ? her and family

Running out of ideas...

i am running out of ideas to help my 14 yr old boy ...he is starting to lie to me ...skip school ...i tried goal outside help and nothing is working and it doesnt help when he is ADD mind you ...he is on meds but its like there not helping him and when i try to help he takes off or when someone tries to talk to him he doesnt listen ...keeps on saying he doesnt care ...he doesnt want to go to school

Big liar...

My 19 years old boy hates going to college and he is a big liar. Note: He lost a year in high school and his colleagues are now ahead of him. May be this is one reason. I feel he has a social retreat as well, though he still goes out in the weekend and meets friends. Lying is one of his means of getting what he wants, fooling us for we believe or want to trust him and he knows this and play on it through lying (No I am ok) (I am attending classes)(I promise) etc... and everything is just not true.We keep on telling an ugly truth is better than lying; however nothing can stop him from hiding the truth. He leaves the house every morning with a said intention that he is going to the university, but he goes elsewhere and we get asserted information that he was playing around or hiding somewhere. We are ready to help, but he doesn't even speak out. If we ask him what is wrong with the university he just says I am not comfortable. How? He do! isn't clearly answer. He wants to travel out of the country to continue his education abroad, in Canada. I am afraid I don't see him trustworthy to travel alone with all his lies and escaping mechanisms. He is spoiled and have always used lies to do, get what he wants or not doing what he hates. HELP

Nothing works...

Hi - I am found this website as I searched for help for my 14 year old son. My son just refuses to do his school work...lies - says it is done...failing all of his classes. I have tried everything, since he was a small boy...doctors, testing, meds, sylvan, tutors...he is highly intelligent just will not do the work. We have done rewards, consequences, contracts...nothing works. We have a meeting scheduled with his principal on friday...I fear we will be asked to remove him from the Catholic school he has been with since kindergarten. He is taking too much of the teachers time, disrupting class.

Right now he is taking Focalin xr for ADD symptoms...we have tried every med out there. I do not know what to do anymore. ANY suggestions are welcome. Thank you! Jacqui

No regard for house rules...

I am living with a 17y.o. boy who has absolutely no regard for house rules. I ask him to not download porn from the internet becasue it is not allowed in this house, and he does it anyway. When confronted he lies and says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I removed his used account from the computer, and he hacked into it. I disconnected the computer modem, and he figured out how to tap his laptop into the neighbor's wireless. Every move I make, he circumvents, until I am ready to scream. And not just that, it's everything. He's grounded right now, but that doesn't matter because he ignores all the restrictions anyway, when no one is looking. Both his father and I work, so he can't be watched 24/7. Is there any hope? Signed, "At rope's end"

Girl on Girl?!

I recently learned just how "sexual" teens are... Girl on Girl, 3 sums with the guy & much much more... Parents, how are you handling this with your teen? (this came to me from a friend who drives a school bus & has over heard the girls talking during the rides to & from school) Did you know this was going on? Does anyone have advice on how to best handle this?

Please help? ADULTS ONLY!

I am a teen looking for someone other than my parents to talk to. here is the problem. I am 17 and I was homeschooled aka unschooled for most of my life. last year for 11th grade my parents let me go to the community college for a dual enrollment program. this was great in many ways because my classes were free, and all I had to do was pay for books. I was able to take some very useful and fun classes, but there was a catch. my dad is a teacher at the community college. a math teacher. I hate math with a holy passion, and my dad knows it. he will only let me continue going to the college if I spend one hour a day sitting in one of his math classes. I feel like I am locked in a cage for that hour. every one on the class thinks that I should know all the answers because my dad is the teacher. my dad thinks that I should know all the answers simply because he is a college math teacher, like I should have gotten it through genetics or something.

I am failing the class right now, my dad is mad and I don't know what to do? I am not enrolled in this class officially, but because I am home schooled for 1/2 of my classes I get "high school" credit for this class. if I drop that class then my dad will make me drop the other two classes that I take at the college (history and biology, both of which I get strait A's in) I wish I could make my dad see that I am not him and that I never will be. but this is what he expects from me. I hate it, I dread going to that prison every morning. and I know that I will NEVER look at that junk again after that class. it is all USELESS information to me. why can't my dad see that? another thing, we cannot afford a tutor, and when I do ask my dad for help on homework he gets mad at me saying "you should know this, do it yourself." or other things similar to that. I am about to burn out from lack of sleep. just math homework takes 4-5 HOURS every night. I can't take it any more. HELP!?

I have talked to my dad many times. all he says is "tough". he does not understand and he does not care. my dad is the only math teacher at this school. it is the smallest school in the state.

Go to hell...

what to do when your 14 year old tells you to go to hell he has been bad since school started 9 weeks ago i think it has lots to do with some new friends he has

Parent of teens, what would you do?

There is this kid who is 16, boy. he is not going to school, refuses to go,even when you manage to get him into the vehicle to transport him to school. he hangs out lord knows where. he doesnt come home. he doesnt want to work. he smokes pot. he is a bully to siblings. and disrepectful to parents. he refuses to continue treatment like counseling. so you let the other parent deal with him because you tryed to do what you can and the other parent and the child say they think it bests for him to live there. OK.......he continues to behave in such manner, expect his anger esculates.........

POINT OR QUESTION......what would you do? how would you reach this kid? what else is out there? I know there is boot camp, but limited money....and most programs are volunteer status and he aint gunna volunteer, i already tried. any advice? i am worried about him and dont know what to do.

in CA the police say they cant help until he breaks a law and not going to school is not breaking the law.

i have no idea where he gets the money for his pot and yeah, you can get pot for free, its who you know...and i wish i knew where he hung out because i would be the first to call the cops...i have reported other areas he hung out during school time because that is just wrong to allow a child to hang out when you know he is supose to be in school.

I am a new step-mom...

Hello,

My name is Joni. I am a new step-mom (2 months) who has never had children (46 years of age). My step-child is 13 years old, and has a heart of gold (knows right from wrong), yet has not had dicipline in her life until her dad & I got married (not trying to put myself on a pedestal - promise!). Her mom is bed-ridden (has been for 4 years) and has had a difficult time controlling the daughter. Her dad travels a good deal, and she is not close to him. I have been lovingly disciplining her, and she is steadily pushing the limit -- the problem is... neither her father or mother backs me up because they feel guilt over past/current situations, and I'm left being the bad cop... all while her mom & dad are counter-acting any discipline I'm trying to give her (through spoiling her -- both with money & giving her her way on everything). The daughter controls every situation, and I am stuck trying to figure out the best way to handle a potential disaster. Help!

What rights do we have?

my partners ex is being awkward about him seeing his son. She wont let him come to our house and wont let me round hers as she does not like me- event though she has never met me. she only wants my partner to go to hers on his own without me. why do you think this is and what rights do we have about seeing him at our house at weekends etc?

Fining and jailing parents...

Is it right that the government is proposing fining and even jailing parents for their children's ...?
... behaviour whilst at the same time they have legislated to remove a parent's right to effectively discipline their own children.
They are discussing this on Radio 5 just now and I have to ask because the e-mail I sent to them about it won't get read out and I would like opinions before I go away to sort out *my* Family's problems (*caused* by government policies!).

I agree that it is yet another populist "soundbite" from this governement but it *has* happened -

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berks...

If my boys had ever skipped school *I* should have dealt with it and they wouldn't have done it again I can tell you.Nowadays I could not have taken the necessary action in order that *I* ensured their attendance as *I* wished them to (and never mind the school regulations).

Behaviour problems with my 7 year old!!

My little girl has just started junior school, when she was at Infant school she worked really hard, had lots of friends, was a real teachers pet and a real favourite of most of them. Now she has gone to Junior school she has really changed, she is still the same at home but at school she has turned into a real horror!!

I found out yesterday that she has been really mean to another little girl, basically bullying her, kicking, punching and saying mean things. The school has a zero tolerance level on bullying and if she does it again she will be excluded.

I just don't know whats happened to my sweet kind little girl, I have brought her up to be kind to people and that bullying is very very wrong!!!

I sat and cried last night cos I have no idea what to do - does anyone have any suggestions?? I did sit with her last night and talked to her about how that little girl must be feeling and to think about how she would feel??

Seeking support from other parents...

Im trying desperately to get some support from other parents of bipolar teenagers... I have tried different chats and there is never anyone on them...if anyone knows any good sites or chats, or information to help me id greatly appreciate it.

What do you do when your kids father wants nothing to do with her?

What do you do when your kids father wants nothing to do with her?

Here we go. First of all since the day that the child was born the father denied her. After she was a year and a half is when he decided that he wanted to be in her life. Since then it has been nothing but he coming around when he felt like it. Telling her that he would be there and then never show up and leaving the mother to deal with a child that was crying and not understanding why her father didnt want to see her. And the main reason for this is what do you do when the father calls the mother and tells her that he is giving up his rights and wants nothing to do with her or the child. And after the mother telling him that she will sign the papers but that he would still have to pay what he owes to his daughter and him telling her are you really that jewish, you should have been burned with the rest of them. The mother throughtout the years has never done anything to him to hurt him. Even when he wasnt paying she was still allowing him to see his daughter. Please help.

ODD Son

I HAVE A 12 YR. OLD SON WHO HAS ODD AND I NEED HELP WITH HIM, HE IS NOW OUT OF CONTROL.

Anyone else ever feel like you can't do it???

Anyone else ever feel like you can't do it??? i am 23 and a single mother of 3 beautiful children i was married once before and we had 2 kids together after our divorce i never thought i would be with someone ever again. i started dating my best friend and we had a baby together my children are still young. i have a 5 year old boy with adhd and he bounces off the wall constantly. he takes meds and counseling. i have a 3 year old and she has add and we are fighting some problems with skin cancer that she was born with. my youngest is a baby. he is 2 months old. i have a wonderful boyfriend that tries to help but he works alot, he has me staying home with the children. i love my kids but my oldest cannot mind for anything. my girl is so sensitive that even the smallest "getting onto her" she starts crying so bad she can't breathe. i spend all of my time with them. the oldest is in school. other than that i never get a break from them. i love my children but sometimes i think i am going crazy. does anyone else ever feel this way?

19 years old and is still living at home...

My son is 19 years old and is still living at home, when he does decide to come home that is,. Lately, he has been getting into scrapes with the police. Several arrests that only came to my attention when my house was visited by several police men/women where he was arrested. It is very difficult to talk to him as he will not open up. What do I do in this situation. He takes me for granted with little or no respect. He lacks motivation and has a bad attitude. Do I tell him to leave if he will not abide to house rules.

Son doesn't listen...

My 17 year old son doesn't listen to me and I think is getting out of control. I made him quite his job because his grade came down. He curses at me and says I never listen to him. When he ask to go out I tell him to ask his father. The next thing I know he's going places and the father hasn't given his permission. I get angry because I feel that my husband should be more firm with this boy. Because of my son behavior and attitude I tell him he doesn't ask me to drive the car or nothing. Tonight he ask to go to a football game and the next thing I knew he was gone. I call my husband to ask if the boy called to ask he could go out and my husband said no.

Trouble with the police...

Hi my son has recently been in trouble with the police and has been gone for one full week tomorrow although he says he is coming home tomorrow i am not too sure he will. He has other issues also, severe depression (only finally recently diagnosed!), not sure how he fits into the family situation as his dad was killed at work nearly 2 years ago, he isn't at school as he was asked not to return until he got help (he has been having professional help all the way through but is not accepting anything anyone says to him), he is 15 1/2 and i love him to bits but am so saddened that i cannot help him at the moment. Would like to know if anyone has any advice of how to handle to situation in the upcoming days ahead?

Son does not want to have any rules...

My 15 year old son does not want to have any rules, swears and is becoming abusive towards me. I have bruises on my arm and he lightly hit me upside the head yesterday. He admits he does not respect me and said he wants to only eat and sleep here.I don't know what to do anymore and anytime I call a family support number I end up in a goose chase looking for help. There really does not seem to be anything immediate. They suggest counseling, but how to you get a teen to go to it if there are never home and refuse to come? I have been advised to charge him with assault but with his other charges for a unrelated incident he will for sure be taken to a youth facility where I believe only worse things come out of that.

SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT

MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 4YEARS OLD ON SEPTEMBER 23RD. SHE IS A TWIN WITH A BOY' SHE ALSO HAS A BABY BROTHER AND THREE OLDER SIBLINGS FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, WHICH ALL LIVE WITH ME AND MY SECOND HUSBAND. SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT AND DOES NOT WANT TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING. SHE ACTS OUT VIOLENTLY AND I AM AT WITS END, BECAUSE SHE IS DISRUPTIVE AND IS MAKING OUR FAMILY MISERABLE, MY HUSBAND AND I ARE FIGHTING, BECAUSE WE ARE TRYING EVERYTHING AND NOTHING IS WORKING, PLEASE HELP AND GIVE ME A SOLUTION.

Son comes home with tattoos...

My son who is 16 comes home from school with tattoos! The school allows open campus lunch and will not help with the issue. He will not listen to us.

Son has me so upset...

My 14 year old son has me so upset right now. He is disrespectful, doesn't care, won't mind, has been suspended from school, and is failing almost all of his classes. Today I ended up calling truancy officer, juvie detective, juvie probation office, everyone I could think of trying to get help. I can't afford military school. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown

He's had everything i could possibly give him...

my son has just turned 15 hes had everything i could possibly give him, ive got a good marriage and he gets on well with his stepdad better than me and him really trouble is now hes not listening in school, he neglects the house and his personal belongings he just doesnt give a damn about anything, i have said im going to stop his money etc and he says he will just sell his stuff to get money he’s not on drugs he has had a drink in the past only once I know His room is an absolute tip and he leaves the house in the same state he does nothing to help only makes a mess, im forever picking up and nagging him any suggestions please i just feel it will get a lot worse

kayla

Cutting Classes

My 16 year old son with ADD is constantly dishonest and for no reason seems to place himself in situations that prove disastrous to him academically and socially at times. He does not take care of situations until they are out of control. For e.g., he was marked in school as cutting 2 classes, he states he was there. I told him to get notes from those teachers saying he was there and submit to attendance. He did not get the notes and the Dean told him he has to no follow-up with the teachers to sign a paper he was given that he was there. The problem was that I had to go back to the school with him and accompany him to the Deans office since he took no actions to take care of this.

My daughter won't go to school...

My daughter won't go to school because she claims she is sick. In the evenings however, she seems fine. She only seems to be sick on Mon, Tues. or Wed. gets better on Thur. And is well on Friday.

When I tell her that since she was sick most of the week she needs to stay home on the weekend. Meaning she is not allowed to spend the night with a friend. When this happens she then wants to go to her mom's. However, she doesn't go see her mom on weekends unless she is in trouble at home. She seems to want to run away from her problems instead of facing the consequences of what she has done to get herself in trouble.

Tommy

She is out of control...

My name is theresa and i have a 14 year old daughter and she is out of control i am at my wit's end with her she steal's money from us she steal's jewelry she constantly lies to us about the littlest thing's to she is sexually active she say's very bad cuss word's to us she tells us she hates us and hopes we die she has been in a juvenile detention center and was doing ok until she started back to school and she just started doing all sort's of bad thing's like drug's lie's stealing cursing you name it she done it i have taken her tv i have grounded her but she sneaks out while we are sleeping or just don’t come home from school and stay out until 2 am no idea where she is someone please tell me what to do with my child thank you and god bless you

Married but acting as a single parent - is it possible?

Married but acting as a single parent - is it possible?

We have been married for many, many years. He is a good man - employed, no drugs or drinking, comes home every night, we really don't fight much, nice guy, etc, etc,etc.
Problem, he is really not that good at being a father - he does not hurt the kids - just kind of uninvolved in their lives.
Question, can I still remain married, (the kids are young and still need to have their father around), but act more as a single parent?
My family and I are more than willing to be there for the kids, and husband can be there as much or little as he chooses. Does that work, how do you tell the kids? Or let this kids decide what they want from Daddy?

Graffiti Son

My teenage son (first year in college) clearly defies our rules and continues to "tag" or do graffiti. He's defiant about it and I do not know what to do. He previously had a marijuana problem and we drug test him frequently - passes the drug test but continues to "tag".

I'm so angry and want to cut him off financially unless he complies with the law. Help?

How can I make my kids get along and listen to us?

How can I make my kids get along and listen to us?

All my kids do is fight and argue, they fight with us all the time..I can't get them to help around the house. Any ideas?

My grandson has extreme anger...

My grandson has extreme anger and it worries me because I think he could be very abusive and violent. I am not sure if his disease has anything with it or not. He is in placement now he cusses and fights adults. I hope he doesn’t swing on me as I would probably end up in jail.

Online Parent Support

Violent Children

I have kids who - for whatever reason - are starting to become downright violent. I saw this thing on Dr. Phil today about violent children who killed animals and hit and beat up their siblings ...almost ready to kill their parents and siblings......I don't want to see this in my house.

If you were a parent of a violent child what would you do?

Give them away?

Cut off their limbs?

Send them to a psych ward?

What is there to do?

Problems going to school...

My name is Alison and I have a 13 yr old son who is having problems going to school. This has been ongoing for almost 3 yrs now. He has moved schools 3 times during that period and in Jan I gave up work to home tutor. I have now got him a place in a local school but he is refusing to go. He tells me he feels anxious about school. I have tried hypnotherapy, councellers etc but he will only see them once then refuse to go back. Any suggestions?

This has gotten worse over the past 3 years...

My daughter is 16. This has gotten worse over the past 3 years. She does what she wants all the time. When she leaves I call the police - nothing happens. she never goes to school. Had many truancy tickets issued to her, but nothing happens. She never paid or worked them off... says they cant do anything to her. She’s right. yesterday she told me she was going somewhere (after being gone 4 weeks and calling me a b----) I told her she wasnt going anywhere. She laughed in my face and said, "theres nothing you can do about it!" she left. the very same thing happened last week. I called the police and they just said they cant do anything, but she does have to listen to me. in the last month, she has only been home 3 days. I cannot lock the doors, take her clothes, or touch her. she knows this and is running around at will whenever she feels like it. she tells me the rules no matter what I do or say, she just laughs. I have hit my point of taking things into my own hands and going to jail. I'm at the end of my rope with her and to the point where I just want her out, they cant even help me with that.

Would you approve of your 16 year old son dating a 19 year old woman?

Parents,

Would you approve of your 16 year old son dating a 19 year old woman? She just turned 19, but she's still 3 years older, but she's a nice, normal woman, but ...I don't know!?

Perplexed

I don't have kids but...

I don't have kids but my girlfriends son is 17 and is abusing her by throwing fits and knocking holes in the walls and calling her names and i mean ugly names. He is a perfect kid when I am around or anyone else for that matter. I asked her to call the police several times, but she is either scared of him or scared to lose him.

My 16 (soon to be 17) year old daughter...

My 16 (soon to be 17) year old daughter has taken to staying at her boyfriends house every night for the past few months and basically treats her own house like a hotel. She has no respect for me or her family and does not listen to anything we try and say to her or do for her. She is extremely rude and surly and totally 100%selfish, only ever thinking of herself and never others. Basically everything always revolves around her. I have now said I want to go on holiday for a week in October with my partner (she refuses to come away with us) and that she can either stay at her boyfriends house or with her dad (we are divorced), however, she is refusing to leave the house whilst I am away and expects me to leave her on her own for a week but she is incapable of being trusted at all and is in my eyes too young to be left alone. She also says I cannot make her go, that she is not going to leave and that I cannot force her. I am now considering cancelling my holiday as dont know what to do but dont think that a 16 year old totally selfish child should dictate what I can and cannot do in my own home. Any suggestions?

I need to wean my toddler...

My Mom is always making comments about how I need to wean my toddler. But I'm going to let him self wean...

She never breastfed any of her children and doesn't understand the benefits of doing so at all, not to mention the benefits of doing so beyond a year. She makes very derogatory comments and says that my Aunts, Grandmother (and her, obviously) all think it's ridiculous that I'm still nursing my 18 month old son... and that I need to "cut him off". I've tried to explain the benefits to her but she thinks it's wrong to breastfeed a baby that can walk and is starting to talk. How should I handle her ignorant comments without losing it!

Advice?

How do I keep from PUNCHING her in the head..?

So far all day today and most of last night ever time I talk to my daughter, 17, She will answer me, "ok, B*TCH". Or "what ever B*TCH".

I will say can you do you dishes or clean up you mess in the bathroom. I get a "Sure B*TCH".

All I want to do is go up to her, knock her on her *** and pound her face into the carpet.

It is my house and I AM NOT leaving..So the leave and calm down does not work with me.

I have told her not to talk to me that way, I am not one of her girl friends or her loser boyfriend. I get "fine" then I walk away and I can hear her wisper "B*TCH".

No I can not kick her out yet, She is on probation until she is 18. Her PO is no help.

I have tryed ingnoring her but there are time we do need to talk during the day.

How do I keep myself from slaming her into a wall and punching her until I feel better.

And the she is only 17 and it will pass dont work with me either..

I have a huge problem...

I have a huge problem. My son 14 year old son stays with my parents at times to help me out while working. Last night my parents neighbors house was opened during the night. The house was not broke in to, but rather someone with a key left the front door open and even opened their garage door from inside the house. Only 3 people have keys to her house, her 2 daughters and my parents. The Police officer questioned her about kids. When she mentioned my son, the Police officer, who has been to our house before, already knew and suspected him.

Nothing was taken from their home and she could not believe my son would do something like that to her. I asked my son about the incident and he denies ever doing it or even knowing about the key.

My son is not saavy when it comes to certain things so after hearing all the facts, I do believe him. My parents, however, do not and I can only imagine what he is going through with every one pointing their finger at him.

I am trying to keep him positive, he did though bring this on himself, for past misdeed, and I have to admit, I can see him lying about something like this. I even asked him if he gave the key to one of his friends.

I listened to how my parents were talking to him and realized that he must feel like everyone is always against him accusing him first then asking questions. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't want to look stupid either, if he did do this. At this point it just doesn't seem to add up that he did do this.

I think I know my son well enough and can usually tell when he is lying. Any suggestions on how I can help him through this and not have him hating everyone, yet at the same time not lose faith in him that he might actually be changing for the better?

MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness...

MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness. Psychiatrists, psychologists, pediatricians, social workers, and teachers have all weighed in on his diagnoses. When he was 6 months old, even a baby sitter offered her opinion: "There's something not right about him," she muttered.

Since the age of 6, my son has been on three different atypical antipsychotics, along with other medications. He is in a substantially separate classroom at school, and not long ago was hospitalized in a pediatric psychiatric unit for three weeks. He had done fairly well for a time, and I convinced myself the problems were a phase, but it came crashing down. As one of his teachers says, "He gets this look in his eyes, and I know he can't cope." I know it, too.

My son is suffering, and I, as his mother, seem unable to make it better. He rages, and if you think this is a generic kid tantrum, you have another thought coming. At other times, he completely shuts down. Transitions are hell, and he is often glued to me. Trying to wake him in the morning is a Herculean task. Early mornings are so stressful that we are often both exhausted by 9 a.m.

Yet he can be the kindest child, with a smile that could light the planet. He is physically beautiful, so graceful, and lives in the world in a way that is deeply different than many humans. Some have called him gifted.

I am convinced that because he feels pain so deeply, he identifies deeply with the pain of others. At age 5, when we were reading a children's book about God, he said, "I don't think God is a man or a woman, because God is too big for that." His words took my breath away. That is a concept some adults never get to, never mind a 5-year-old.

Just as God is far too complex an idea to limit to one category, I ask that question about my son. His mood swings and behaviors seem to fit within the pediatric bipolar spectrum, but is it possible to assign these children a sole diagnosis of bipolar? Does such a condition even exist in children? I have no idea. His psychiatrist believes deeply that it does, but the current debate -- perhaps "war" is more accurate -- over pediatric bipolar and the use of psychiatric drugs in children fills me with uncertainty, guilt, and fear.

My son likes to stay out past curfew...

My son likes to stay out past curfew on school nights, smoke, experiment with drugs. My concern this year for him is his grades. He is 14 in the 9th grade so it counts. I used to smoke, do drugs so it's not a priority for me. I survived and don't do either now. I remember nothing anyone said would've made me change my mind. So how do I discipline him for staying out, yet let him feel he made the wrong choice so he doesn't think I am trying to control him? I've told him I will be on him for his grades this year and that is my priority for him. I know he is at a crossroads between a child and young man. I'm trying to get him to make the correct choices. Any help?

ACS has become involved...

Out of Control Teen and ACS

I have a 15 year old girl completely out-of-control. ACS has become involved questioning my discipline stating I have used corporate punishment. She now gets to do whatever she wants and ACS has made no attempt to help the situation besides railroad me and focus on the irrelevant. I have never abused my child. Most recently, my daughter started to stay out passed curfew and steal from me and other family members. I confronted her about it. She became very hostile to the point I had to push her away, which resulted in two minor scratches to her neck. ACS has filed family court petitions against me to terminate my rights along with criminal proceedings. My daughter gets to stay out to in the morning, etc and dares me to intervene by threatening to call ACS with false allegations. I am trying to do all I can do to save my family but my hands are tied. I feel lost and confused on further actions to take if I am allowed any. Any advise legal or from personal experience will be a great help.

My son is a zombie...

Hi all,

Does anyone have any suggestions regarding alternative treatment for ADHD, I mean something other than ritalin. My son is a zombie. And I worry he'll get addicted to it.

HELP?!

Pot smoking in the house?

Pot smoking in the house?

Would you allow your child to live in a house where there was habitual, blatant pot smoking going on?

"Attachment Parenting"?

Could someone please explain the basic concepts of "Attachment Parenting"?

Specifically in regard to fostered children, if you have any ideas? Thanks!

How can I learn to cope with my husband's 8 year old niece?

* This is long ** How can I learn to cope with my husband's 8 year old niece?

My husband's niece is 8 years old and when she is in my presence she makes me nervous and makes my blood pressure rise. This is my husband's adopted brother's child, but she lives with her mother and brother. She spends 90-95% of the time at my inlaws house. They are older (62 and 67) so they let her get away with highway robbery. She runs through the house, dives off furniture, runs into the walls, climbs up the door frames. She does the same thing when she comes to our house. She puts her feet on the furniture and plays under the coffee table. When I say something to my husband he gets offended and claims she isn't doing anything wrong. She is TERRIBLE. All she has to do is blow a whistle and his parents are front and center. If she says she wants to go home, they take her home no matter what time it is. The same applies when she wants to come over. They tell her to do something and she will stare them right in their eyes until SHE is ready to make a move.

When is the right age to...?

When is the right age to...?

Tell your kids personal stuff? I mean like what age would you concider old enough to tell your kids the truth when they ask you where babies come from? I never asked my mom and so I didn't know for a long time. Obviously I do now, but you know. Like I have this friend and she said that she asked her mom when she was eight and her mom told her everything about sex.

Do you think parents of adult children have selective memory?

Do you think parents of adult children have selective memory?

I am constantly seeing questions and editorials from parents of adult children. Most of them start with "What is wrong with parents these days?". Most of them end with "I never allowed my children to do that." or "My child NEVER behaved inappropriately in public because I taught him better." I think they are full of it. I have three small children and I am around a lot of kids. I personally have NEVER met a perfect one, regarless of how wonderful the parent is. My mother-n-law is full of advice on how to raise children. In private her kids tell of how she abused them and constantly berated them. Funny, she never mentioned those tactics in all of her wonderful lectures. Whew, I feel better.

Is anyone elses days like mine?

Is anyone elses days like mine?

I have a 9 yr old stepson and a 11 month old baby. I get up, i get everyone ready, i walk my stepson to school, i spend most of my day, till my husband comes home at 5, cleaning, washing, dusting etc, looking after my beautiful baby boy, picking up my stepson from school, doing finances, planning, making dinner, making sure the house is beautiful, spending quality time with my boy, putting them to bed, and its only about now at 8.40pm i get to sit down and do what i want to do till i go to bed around 11.30pm and do it all again! lol Just wondered if this is what most mothers do or do you do more/less and how do you feel bout this?
2 days ago - 23 answers - Report Abuse

Should I call CPS?

Should I call CPS?

Theyre these people I use to work with, in fact i still work with one of them. Theyre two girls, roommates, and one of them has 2 children and another on the way. both girls are in their 20's and are constantly drunk, there isn't a sober person EVER watching the children, and I can't help to think what she's doing to the one inside her. They have also been smoking pot, like crazy. Sharing it with the children and having the children drinking beers and things. The mother is to say it nicely a Sleeze, she sleeps with at least 3 diffrent guys a day, and her roommate is a claimed whore, she is also pregnant with a 16 year old boys child. She loves telling people how she's sleeped with 37 guys in like one year. The roommate has been teaching the boys( the 2 children) to do disgusting and disrespectful hand gestures like the two fingers with a tounge between them, the sign for "female oral" it's disgusting. Should I call CPS and make it my business or should I stay out of it?

My problem with my son sleeping in my bed?

My problem with my son sleeping in my bed?

i'm a single parent and have always let my son who is now 7 to sleep in my bed, however, he is now in primary 3 and i thought it was about time he slept in his own bed so this week i have told him if he sleeps in his bed hes a big boy and can go out to play for a while after school which he loves doing but if he doesn't sleep in his bed then he must be too small and therefore to young to go out to play. the first two nights he slept in his bed right through the nights but last night i went into my bed and there he was spralled out snoring away looking so cute but i have told him this morning that he can't go out to play tonight as he didn't sleep in his own bed.

i have been reading other yahoo answers about children sleeping in their parents beds and am now wondering if i'm making to much of a deal about this should i just let him sleep beside me?

Is it WRONG to spank your kids these days????

Is it WRONG to spank your kids these days????

" I SWATTED (NOT spanked) my daughter on..."

WTF is this!?!?! Since when is it against the law or CODE OF SOCIETY or some $hit to spank the everloving F**K out of your kids when they do something wrong??
"It hurts the kids' feelings and mentally scars them fo life." AWWW BOO F**KIN HOO!!
My dad whooped the hell outta me when i was a kid with a leather belt right across my @$$. What is the difference now??

Come on people....get a brain and some balls. Sometimes the best remedy for a smartass kid is a good 'ol *** whoopin.

Misery or single parenthood?

Misery or single parenthood?

I'm intentionally pregnant in a 12 year relationship and my bf is being so horrible that I want out. I am POSITIVE it is not just my hormones as we have a history of his being an asshole, us breaking up, his being sugary sweet and then getting back together. He has caused nothing but strife since I became pregnant. Should I stay in an unhappy relationship because single parenthood is too hard? I'm really scared to do this alone but tired of putting up with his stupidity. And as for communicating with him.... that's the problem He won't talk. At all. I have come to believe he is actually incapable of adult communication. Problem is he makes enough money that I was planning to stay home with my baby for at least a year. Without him I'll have to put her in day care at 2 months. Not ideal. I dunno what to do.

How do i discipline twins...

How do i discipline twins aged 4 and a 9 yr old that arent mine.?

I have recently got involved with a woman with 3 children who are disobedient and have no respect for there mum.

Me personally i was brought up with a firm background and i feel i know how to go about disciplining the children but want some back up advice that what im doing is right.
Mum is soft who will argue all day with them and i cant help but feel that a good firm smack and telling them why they got a smack will save the aggro of months of bull**** listening and explaining....advice please..ps i do have time to talk to them and do otherways but i want them to be intelligent and have respect before 16.

Should I take in a teenager?

Should I take in a teenager?

Okay, My husband and I worked with a youth group at a local church. I got really closed to the pastors oldest daughter. She was going through a rough time and I really felt that God had brought me there to be an influence to her and encourage better behavior. After being there 2 years we felt led to leave the church.

This girl will be 18 in a few weeks. Her parents are really hard on her. She has rededicated her life to the Lord and has really matured through the years. She is a senior and is working a part time job. Her dad refers to her as a pain in his flesh. her parents are always telling her to get a second job to pay for her school supplies and school clothes. She pays her Car payment, Car Taxes, Insurance, gas and cell phone bill. They do not make her younger sister pay for her own cell phone.

She feels really close to me and my family. I have 4 children ages 7 ,4 and 2 year old twins. Should I let her move in with us? What is your opinion?

Well, If she is going to move out anyway, I want her to have a safe place to go and someone who is going to encourage her to finish high school. I do not want her just moving in with a friend. She needs guidance!

I know no one on YA can tell me what to do. I was just looking for opinions.