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My son likes to stay out past curfew...

My son likes to stay out past curfew on school nights, smoke, experiment with drugs. My concern this year for him is his grades. He is 14 in the 9th grade so it counts. I used to smoke, do drugs so it's not a priority for me. I survived and don't do either now. I remember nothing anyone said would've made me change my mind. So how do I discipline him for staying out, yet let him feel he made the wrong choice so he doesn't think I am trying to control him? I've told him I will be on him for his grades this year and that is my priority for him. I know he is at a crossroads between a child and young man. I'm trying to get him to make the correct choices. Any help?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When children get poor grades in school, a parent's initial thought may be that the child isn't trying hard enough or isn't doing his or her homework. However, there are several other possible reasons your child is doing poorly in school that should be examined so that you can give your child the help he or she needs.

Problems in the classroom may account for your child's poor academic performance. One problem that may be occurring is that your child is having difficulty understanding the material being covered in class. If this is the case, you should talk to the child's teacher and examine if the child would benefit from a tutoring program.

Your child may also be performing poorly academically because he or she cannot see the board. It may be necessary to take your child to an ophthalmologist to have his or her eyes examined.

Sometimes children or teen perform poorly academically because they are depressed. Some other signs of depression include appetite changes, changes in sleep patterns, loss of interest in the things one used to find interesting or fun, and crying spells. If you notice any of these signs in combination with poor academic performance, you may want to take your child to the school counselor or make an appointment with a child psychiatrist or psychologist.

ADHD is a disorder in which children possess difficulty paying attention. If your child suffers from ADHD, you might notice that he or she does not appear to be listening to you when you talk to him or her, makes careless mistakes often, possesses difficulty waiting for his or her turn, blurts out answers to questions before they have been fully asked, squirms in seat, climbs about in situations where it may not be an appropriate behavior, interrupts often, and possesses difficulty organizing and finishing tasks or activities.

You should talk to the child's teacher in order to see if these behaviors occur at school as well as at home. If they occur in numerous situations and occur often, your child may be suffering from ADHD. You may want to consider taking your child to a child psychiatrist or psychologist to have him or her evaluated for the condition.

Of course, there is always the possibility that your child is putting his or her academic career and homework on the back burner. If this is the case, you may want to consider positive reinforcement for good grades on tests, homework, and on report cards. Positive reinforcement may motivate your child to care about his or her academic performance.