Online Parent Support Chat

Behaviour problems with my 7 year old!!

My little girl has just started junior school, when she was at Infant school she worked really hard, had lots of friends, was a real teachers pet and a real favourite of most of them. Now she has gone to Junior school she has really changed, she is still the same at home but at school she has turned into a real horror!!

I found out yesterday that she has been really mean to another little girl, basically bullying her, kicking, punching and saying mean things. The school has a zero tolerance level on bullying and if she does it again she will be excluded.

I just don't know whats happened to my sweet kind little girl, I have brought her up to be kind to people and that bullying is very very wrong!!!

I sat and cried last night cos I have no idea what to do - does anyone have any suggestions?? I did sit with her last night and talked to her about how that little girl must be feeling and to think about how she would feel??

Seeking support from other parents...

Im trying desperately to get some support from other parents of bipolar teenagers... I have tried different chats and there is never anyone on them...if anyone knows any good sites or chats, or information to help me id greatly appreciate it.

What do you do when your kids father wants nothing to do with her?

What do you do when your kids father wants nothing to do with her?

Here we go. First of all since the day that the child was born the father denied her. After she was a year and a half is when he decided that he wanted to be in her life. Since then it has been nothing but he coming around when he felt like it. Telling her that he would be there and then never show up and leaving the mother to deal with a child that was crying and not understanding why her father didnt want to see her. And the main reason for this is what do you do when the father calls the mother and tells her that he is giving up his rights and wants nothing to do with her or the child. And after the mother telling him that she will sign the papers but that he would still have to pay what he owes to his daughter and him telling her are you really that jewish, you should have been burned with the rest of them. The mother throughtout the years has never done anything to him to hurt him. Even when he wasnt paying she was still allowing him to see his daughter. Please help.

ODD Son

I HAVE A 12 YR. OLD SON WHO HAS ODD AND I NEED HELP WITH HIM, HE IS NOW OUT OF CONTROL.

Anyone else ever feel like you can't do it???

Anyone else ever feel like you can't do it??? i am 23 and a single mother of 3 beautiful children i was married once before and we had 2 kids together after our divorce i never thought i would be with someone ever again. i started dating my best friend and we had a baby together my children are still young. i have a 5 year old boy with adhd and he bounces off the wall constantly. he takes meds and counseling. i have a 3 year old and she has add and we are fighting some problems with skin cancer that she was born with. my youngest is a baby. he is 2 months old. i have a wonderful boyfriend that tries to help but he works alot, he has me staying home with the children. i love my kids but my oldest cannot mind for anything. my girl is so sensitive that even the smallest "getting onto her" she starts crying so bad she can't breathe. i spend all of my time with them. the oldest is in school. other than that i never get a break from them. i love my children but sometimes i think i am going crazy. does anyone else ever feel this way?

19 years old and is still living at home...

My son is 19 years old and is still living at home, when he does decide to come home that is,. Lately, he has been getting into scrapes with the police. Several arrests that only came to my attention when my house was visited by several police men/women where he was arrested. It is very difficult to talk to him as he will not open up. What do I do in this situation. He takes me for granted with little or no respect. He lacks motivation and has a bad attitude. Do I tell him to leave if he will not abide to house rules.

Son doesn't listen...

My 17 year old son doesn't listen to me and I think is getting out of control. I made him quite his job because his grade came down. He curses at me and says I never listen to him. When he ask to go out I tell him to ask his father. The next thing I know he's going places and the father hasn't given his permission. I get angry because I feel that my husband should be more firm with this boy. Because of my son behavior and attitude I tell him he doesn't ask me to drive the car or nothing. Tonight he ask to go to a football game and the next thing I knew he was gone. I call my husband to ask if the boy called to ask he could go out and my husband said no.

Trouble with the police...

Hi my son has recently been in trouble with the police and has been gone for one full week tomorrow although he says he is coming home tomorrow i am not too sure he will. He has other issues also, severe depression (only finally recently diagnosed!), not sure how he fits into the family situation as his dad was killed at work nearly 2 years ago, he isn't at school as he was asked not to return until he got help (he has been having professional help all the way through but is not accepting anything anyone says to him), he is 15 1/2 and i love him to bits but am so saddened that i cannot help him at the moment. Would like to know if anyone has any advice of how to handle to situation in the upcoming days ahead?

Son does not want to have any rules...

My 15 year old son does not want to have any rules, swears and is becoming abusive towards me. I have bruises on my arm and he lightly hit me upside the head yesterday. He admits he does not respect me and said he wants to only eat and sleep here.I don't know what to do anymore and anytime I call a family support number I end up in a goose chase looking for help. There really does not seem to be anything immediate. They suggest counseling, but how to you get a teen to go to it if there are never home and refuse to come? I have been advised to charge him with assault but with his other charges for a unrelated incident he will for sure be taken to a youth facility where I believe only worse things come out of that.

SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT

MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 4YEARS OLD ON SEPTEMBER 23RD. SHE IS A TWIN WITH A BOY' SHE ALSO HAS A BABY BROTHER AND THREE OLDER SIBLINGS FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, WHICH ALL LIVE WITH ME AND MY SECOND HUSBAND. SHE EXTREMELY DEFIANT AND DOES NOT WANT TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING. SHE ACTS OUT VIOLENTLY AND I AM AT WITS END, BECAUSE SHE IS DISRUPTIVE AND IS MAKING OUR FAMILY MISERABLE, MY HUSBAND AND I ARE FIGHTING, BECAUSE WE ARE TRYING EVERYTHING AND NOTHING IS WORKING, PLEASE HELP AND GIVE ME A SOLUTION.

Son comes home with tattoos...

My son who is 16 comes home from school with tattoos! The school allows open campus lunch and will not help with the issue. He will not listen to us.

Son has me so upset...

My 14 year old son has me so upset right now. He is disrespectful, doesn't care, won't mind, has been suspended from school, and is failing almost all of his classes. Today I ended up calling truancy officer, juvie detective, juvie probation office, everyone I could think of trying to get help. I can't afford military school. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown

He's had everything i could possibly give him...

my son has just turned 15 hes had everything i could possibly give him, ive got a good marriage and he gets on well with his stepdad better than me and him really trouble is now hes not listening in school, he neglects the house and his personal belongings he just doesnt give a damn about anything, i have said im going to stop his money etc and he says he will just sell his stuff to get money he’s not on drugs he has had a drink in the past only once I know His room is an absolute tip and he leaves the house in the same state he does nothing to help only makes a mess, im forever picking up and nagging him any suggestions please i just feel it will get a lot worse

kayla

Cutting Classes

My 16 year old son with ADD is constantly dishonest and for no reason seems to place himself in situations that prove disastrous to him academically and socially at times. He does not take care of situations until they are out of control. For e.g., he was marked in school as cutting 2 classes, he states he was there. I told him to get notes from those teachers saying he was there and submit to attendance. He did not get the notes and the Dean told him he has to no follow-up with the teachers to sign a paper he was given that he was there. The problem was that I had to go back to the school with him and accompany him to the Deans office since he took no actions to take care of this.

My daughter won't go to school...

My daughter won't go to school because she claims she is sick. In the evenings however, she seems fine. She only seems to be sick on Mon, Tues. or Wed. gets better on Thur. And is well on Friday.

When I tell her that since she was sick most of the week she needs to stay home on the weekend. Meaning she is not allowed to spend the night with a friend. When this happens she then wants to go to her mom's. However, she doesn't go see her mom on weekends unless she is in trouble at home. She seems to want to run away from her problems instead of facing the consequences of what she has done to get herself in trouble.

Tommy

She is out of control...

My name is theresa and i have a 14 year old daughter and she is out of control i am at my wit's end with her she steal's money from us she steal's jewelry she constantly lies to us about the littlest thing's to she is sexually active she say's very bad cuss word's to us she tells us she hates us and hopes we die she has been in a juvenile detention center and was doing ok until she started back to school and she just started doing all sort's of bad thing's like drug's lie's stealing cursing you name it she done it i have taken her tv i have grounded her but she sneaks out while we are sleeping or just don’t come home from school and stay out until 2 am no idea where she is someone please tell me what to do with my child thank you and god bless you

Married but acting as a single parent - is it possible?

Married but acting as a single parent - is it possible?

We have been married for many, many years. He is a good man - employed, no drugs or drinking, comes home every night, we really don't fight much, nice guy, etc, etc,etc.
Problem, he is really not that good at being a father - he does not hurt the kids - just kind of uninvolved in their lives.
Question, can I still remain married, (the kids are young and still need to have their father around), but act more as a single parent?
My family and I are more than willing to be there for the kids, and husband can be there as much or little as he chooses. Does that work, how do you tell the kids? Or let this kids decide what they want from Daddy?

Graffiti Son

My teenage son (first year in college) clearly defies our rules and continues to "tag" or do graffiti. He's defiant about it and I do not know what to do. He previously had a marijuana problem and we drug test him frequently - passes the drug test but continues to "tag".

I'm so angry and want to cut him off financially unless he complies with the law. Help?

How can I make my kids get along and listen to us?

How can I make my kids get along and listen to us?

All my kids do is fight and argue, they fight with us all the time..I can't get them to help around the house. Any ideas?

My grandson has extreme anger...

My grandson has extreme anger and it worries me because I think he could be very abusive and violent. I am not sure if his disease has anything with it or not. He is in placement now he cusses and fights adults. I hope he doesn’t swing on me as I would probably end up in jail.

Online Parent Support

Violent Children

I have kids who - for whatever reason - are starting to become downright violent. I saw this thing on Dr. Phil today about violent children who killed animals and hit and beat up their siblings ...almost ready to kill their parents and siblings......I don't want to see this in my house.

If you were a parent of a violent child what would you do?

Give them away?

Cut off their limbs?

Send them to a psych ward?

What is there to do?

Problems going to school...

My name is Alison and I have a 13 yr old son who is having problems going to school. This has been ongoing for almost 3 yrs now. He has moved schools 3 times during that period and in Jan I gave up work to home tutor. I have now got him a place in a local school but he is refusing to go. He tells me he feels anxious about school. I have tried hypnotherapy, councellers etc but he will only see them once then refuse to go back. Any suggestions?

This has gotten worse over the past 3 years...

My daughter is 16. This has gotten worse over the past 3 years. She does what she wants all the time. When she leaves I call the police - nothing happens. she never goes to school. Had many truancy tickets issued to her, but nothing happens. She never paid or worked them off... says they cant do anything to her. She’s right. yesterday she told me she was going somewhere (after being gone 4 weeks and calling me a b----) I told her she wasnt going anywhere. She laughed in my face and said, "theres nothing you can do about it!" she left. the very same thing happened last week. I called the police and they just said they cant do anything, but she does have to listen to me. in the last month, she has only been home 3 days. I cannot lock the doors, take her clothes, or touch her. she knows this and is running around at will whenever she feels like it. she tells me the rules no matter what I do or say, she just laughs. I have hit my point of taking things into my own hands and going to jail. I'm at the end of my rope with her and to the point where I just want her out, they cant even help me with that.

Would you approve of your 16 year old son dating a 19 year old woman?

Parents,

Would you approve of your 16 year old son dating a 19 year old woman? She just turned 19, but she's still 3 years older, but she's a nice, normal woman, but ...I don't know!?

Perplexed

I don't have kids but...

I don't have kids but my girlfriends son is 17 and is abusing her by throwing fits and knocking holes in the walls and calling her names and i mean ugly names. He is a perfect kid when I am around or anyone else for that matter. I asked her to call the police several times, but she is either scared of him or scared to lose him.

My 16 (soon to be 17) year old daughter...

My 16 (soon to be 17) year old daughter has taken to staying at her boyfriends house every night for the past few months and basically treats her own house like a hotel. She has no respect for me or her family and does not listen to anything we try and say to her or do for her. She is extremely rude and surly and totally 100%selfish, only ever thinking of herself and never others. Basically everything always revolves around her. I have now said I want to go on holiday for a week in October with my partner (she refuses to come away with us) and that she can either stay at her boyfriends house or with her dad (we are divorced), however, she is refusing to leave the house whilst I am away and expects me to leave her on her own for a week but she is incapable of being trusted at all and is in my eyes too young to be left alone. She also says I cannot make her go, that she is not going to leave and that I cannot force her. I am now considering cancelling my holiday as dont know what to do but dont think that a 16 year old totally selfish child should dictate what I can and cannot do in my own home. Any suggestions?

I need to wean my toddler...

My Mom is always making comments about how I need to wean my toddler. But I'm going to let him self wean...

She never breastfed any of her children and doesn't understand the benefits of doing so at all, not to mention the benefits of doing so beyond a year. She makes very derogatory comments and says that my Aunts, Grandmother (and her, obviously) all think it's ridiculous that I'm still nursing my 18 month old son... and that I need to "cut him off". I've tried to explain the benefits to her but she thinks it's wrong to breastfeed a baby that can walk and is starting to talk. How should I handle her ignorant comments without losing it!

Advice?

How do I keep from PUNCHING her in the head..?

So far all day today and most of last night ever time I talk to my daughter, 17, She will answer me, "ok, B*TCH". Or "what ever B*TCH".

I will say can you do you dishes or clean up you mess in the bathroom. I get a "Sure B*TCH".

All I want to do is go up to her, knock her on her *** and pound her face into the carpet.

It is my house and I AM NOT leaving..So the leave and calm down does not work with me.

I have told her not to talk to me that way, I am not one of her girl friends or her loser boyfriend. I get "fine" then I walk away and I can hear her wisper "B*TCH".

No I can not kick her out yet, She is on probation until she is 18. Her PO is no help.

I have tryed ingnoring her but there are time we do need to talk during the day.

How do I keep myself from slaming her into a wall and punching her until I feel better.

And the she is only 17 and it will pass dont work with me either..

I have a huge problem...

I have a huge problem. My son 14 year old son stays with my parents at times to help me out while working. Last night my parents neighbors house was opened during the night. The house was not broke in to, but rather someone with a key left the front door open and even opened their garage door from inside the house. Only 3 people have keys to her house, her 2 daughters and my parents. The Police officer questioned her about kids. When she mentioned my son, the Police officer, who has been to our house before, already knew and suspected him.

Nothing was taken from their home and she could not believe my son would do something like that to her. I asked my son about the incident and he denies ever doing it or even knowing about the key.

My son is not saavy when it comes to certain things so after hearing all the facts, I do believe him. My parents, however, do not and I can only imagine what he is going through with every one pointing their finger at him.

I am trying to keep him positive, he did though bring this on himself, for past misdeed, and I have to admit, I can see him lying about something like this. I even asked him if he gave the key to one of his friends.

I listened to how my parents were talking to him and realized that he must feel like everyone is always against him accusing him first then asking questions. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't want to look stupid either, if he did do this. At this point it just doesn't seem to add up that he did do this.

I think I know my son well enough and can usually tell when he is lying. Any suggestions on how I can help him through this and not have him hating everyone, yet at the same time not lose faith in him that he might actually be changing for the better?

MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness...

MY 9-YEAR-OLD son has pediatric bipolar illness. Psychiatrists, psychologists, pediatricians, social workers, and teachers have all weighed in on his diagnoses. When he was 6 months old, even a baby sitter offered her opinion: "There's something not right about him," she muttered.

Since the age of 6, my son has been on three different atypical antipsychotics, along with other medications. He is in a substantially separate classroom at school, and not long ago was hospitalized in a pediatric psychiatric unit for three weeks. He had done fairly well for a time, and I convinced myself the problems were a phase, but it came crashing down. As one of his teachers says, "He gets this look in his eyes, and I know he can't cope." I know it, too.

My son is suffering, and I, as his mother, seem unable to make it better. He rages, and if you think this is a generic kid tantrum, you have another thought coming. At other times, he completely shuts down. Transitions are hell, and he is often glued to me. Trying to wake him in the morning is a Herculean task. Early mornings are so stressful that we are often both exhausted by 9 a.m.

Yet he can be the kindest child, with a smile that could light the planet. He is physically beautiful, so graceful, and lives in the world in a way that is deeply different than many humans. Some have called him gifted.

I am convinced that because he feels pain so deeply, he identifies deeply with the pain of others. At age 5, when we were reading a children's book about God, he said, "I don't think God is a man or a woman, because God is too big for that." His words took my breath away. That is a concept some adults never get to, never mind a 5-year-old.

Just as God is far too complex an idea to limit to one category, I ask that question about my son. His mood swings and behaviors seem to fit within the pediatric bipolar spectrum, but is it possible to assign these children a sole diagnosis of bipolar? Does such a condition even exist in children? I have no idea. His psychiatrist believes deeply that it does, but the current debate -- perhaps "war" is more accurate -- over pediatric bipolar and the use of psychiatric drugs in children fills me with uncertainty, guilt, and fear.

My son likes to stay out past curfew...

My son likes to stay out past curfew on school nights, smoke, experiment with drugs. My concern this year for him is his grades. He is 14 in the 9th grade so it counts. I used to smoke, do drugs so it's not a priority for me. I survived and don't do either now. I remember nothing anyone said would've made me change my mind. So how do I discipline him for staying out, yet let him feel he made the wrong choice so he doesn't think I am trying to control him? I've told him I will be on him for his grades this year and that is my priority for him. I know he is at a crossroads between a child and young man. I'm trying to get him to make the correct choices. Any help?