Online Parent Support Chat

Alleging sexual abuse...

Does anyone have experiences with a teenager with aspergers alleging sexual abuse by one of their parents?

No medical insurance...

I have a 12 year old boy with ODD. Having trouble in school/ medical insurance. Needing help.

Inappropriate pictures of a 13 yo girl...

I have found inappropriate pictures of a 13 yo girl on my 13 yo boy's phone, they do no show more than the beach but they are seductive poses. I want to notify the mother but the name on the pictures is not the true name of the girl as I happened to know her and her mother. I think I know the girls name but it is an educated guess . do i contact that mom or just delete the pictures? How do other parents deal with all the cell phone issues? thanks for any help

I really need to talk with someone...

Hey is anyone online ...I am having alot of trouble with my 15 year old daughter, I really need to talk with someone ...I feel like I am crazy ...I feel all alone.

9 year old is the most difficult...

I am a mom of 3 boys ages 9, 7 and almost 2. My 9 year old is the most difficult for me to deal with. He is extremely oppositional. He fights with his 7 year old brother much of the time. The 7 year old has come to exhibit a lot of his defiant behaviors as well. They both seem very angry. To make matter worse, their dad, my husband, was diagnosed a year ago with Alzheimers Disease, and I feel like a single parent these days. He has a very hard time dealing with their defiance and battles with them, so that sometimes I feel like there's 4 kids instead of 3! I love them, but feel like running away these days and never looking back. I'm terrified of how they'll be when they reach adolescence, if I have little control now. I've had my oldest in therapy off and on over the years, tried various medications. He's very smart and popular at school and behaves well at school. I feel like a failure, because their behavior seems reserved ! mainly for us. What can I do? This seems like an impossible situation!

A lot of trouble...

I am having a lot of trouble with my teenage daughter and don't know what to say,do or handle this very well. Please someone give me some advice. It would much appreciated.

Daughter was self mutilating and using illegal drugs...

In May I found out my daughter was self mutilating and using illegal drugs. We found a treamtent facility went into counseling individual and family. Placing her in treatment was very hard but I truelly believed this could help my daughter. Continued doing random drug test. My 14 year old thinks that I take everyone away that she becomes involved with and I'm too strict. She developed a relationship with a neighbor lady twice her age. We continued random drug testing and out of 4 she only passed 1. This resulted in continued monitoring, little freedom. She become more and more verbal towards me. Her pshychologist diagnosed her with Bi-Polar and she was given Zoloft. I tried to ensure she took this daily. Her father (not in the home)never got involved with any of the counseling and refused to believe she had problems beyond being a teenager. She wanted to live with him as she is free to do as she wants. After 8 months it came to a head w! here she verbally and physically attacted me. My husband and I felt we had no other choice but to let her go live with her father as it was becoming to much not only for us but 2 younger children in the home. She claims she hates me and I'm the worst mother in the world. She refusesto call me adn I dont know wether to give it time or if she truelly does hate me. Was I too strict? I feel like a total failure as a mother. What can I do to help make things better yet let my daughter know I love her but I am the mother and she is the child and there is consequences for all actions both good and bad. Also she is no longer taking her meds nor in counseling as her father doesnt feel she needs them.

Adult-Minor Dating

Maybe I'm just being over-protective or maybe not. Over a year ago my daughter and the neighbor boy fell for each other and I found out that everyone was hiding it from me including my wife. Thank God my 8 y/o son told me. When I asked why nobody told me about it they replied that I would have freaked out about it. Well I did'nt freak out about it but I was so upset that all of them kept it from me. Now at the time my wife and I were having problems in our marraige and I was staying back and forth at from my mom's and our house while we worked things out between us. So I gathered everyone together ( his parents, my wife and daughter, and this boy) and i expressed to them that I wanted it to end and I explained to them why I, as her father, feel this way. I knew that one day this boy would be 18 and my daughter just turning 15. Now, this boy is not a bad kid and he does'nt get into trouble. He works and is active in ROTC and school activities as well....BUT.....there's more!!

This boy has already had sex and smoked pot and probably alcohol. Well, just a couple of weeks ago I found out that she had a hicky on her neck from him so I go over to confront all of them and my wife told me to leave or she was calling the police. I told her that their relationship was over because he just turned 18 that day and she told me "No it's not"! So now i have nobody to support me on this. I don't know what I can do as I only have visitation rights to my children. It's killing me that I have to just sit back and watch this all unfold and my hands are tied I feel. What should I do or should I just let whatever happens happen?

She has until August of next year to give consent and I'm afraid that she being so young and him being experienced, that she will do what it takes to keep him from leaving her and if it means sex then well....I hate to think she'll consent too early. It pisses me off!

Our laws state that she can consent at age 16 which next august. But why should I wait until it happens to do anything about it. I'm trying to be proactive and not reactive.

Caught downloading porno...

I caught my 16 year old son downloading porno from the net?

My wife flipped out.

I told her wtf, its just porn and he's 16 -- they are consenting adults in the pictures and its just sex, maybe he could learn something. So I showed him the sites I go to.

How bad is it -- its not like the kid is 12.

What do you think?

Re: Grounding

At what age does a teenage get to no longer get the "being grounded" punishment?

Friend's son has been diagnosed w/ODD...

My best friend's son has been diagnosed w/ODD. I'm looking for a way to help her to have him removed from the home. The current situation is where the parents fear for their lives, the child does recieve therapy, has also been placed in mental hospitals (average stay 4-7 days) he has a social worker, a probation officer, has been in front of a judge numerous times because of his behavior, the school however protects him even after all the incidents that have happened, kicking a child intentionally in the face, choking a child on the bus for 2 years, parents had no knowledge until other parent didn't get resolution from the principal called the police, HOW CAN I HELP THEM ? her and family

Running out of ideas...

i am running out of ideas to help my 14 yr old boy ...he is starting to lie to me ...skip school ...i tried goal outside help and nothing is working and it doesnt help when he is ADD mind you ...he is on meds but its like there not helping him and when i try to help he takes off or when someone tries to talk to him he doesnt listen ...keeps on saying he doesnt care ...he doesnt want to go to school

Big liar...

My 19 years old boy hates going to college and he is a big liar. Note: He lost a year in high school and his colleagues are now ahead of him. May be this is one reason. I feel he has a social retreat as well, though he still goes out in the weekend and meets friends. Lying is one of his means of getting what he wants, fooling us for we believe or want to trust him and he knows this and play on it through lying (No I am ok) (I am attending classes)(I promise) etc... and everything is just not true.We keep on telling an ugly truth is better than lying; however nothing can stop him from hiding the truth. He leaves the house every morning with a said intention that he is going to the university, but he goes elsewhere and we get asserted information that he was playing around or hiding somewhere. We are ready to help, but he doesn't even speak out. If we ask him what is wrong with the university he just says I am not comfortable. How? He do! isn't clearly answer. He wants to travel out of the country to continue his education abroad, in Canada. I am afraid I don't see him trustworthy to travel alone with all his lies and escaping mechanisms. He is spoiled and have always used lies to do, get what he wants or not doing what he hates. HELP

Nothing works...

Hi - I am found this website as I searched for help for my 14 year old son. My son just refuses to do his school work...lies - says it is done...failing all of his classes. I have tried everything, since he was a small boy...doctors, testing, meds, sylvan, tutors...he is highly intelligent just will not do the work. We have done rewards, consequences, contracts...nothing works. We have a meeting scheduled with his principal on friday...I fear we will be asked to remove him from the Catholic school he has been with since kindergarten. He is taking too much of the teachers time, disrupting class.

Right now he is taking Focalin xr for ADD symptoms...we have tried every med out there. I do not know what to do anymore. ANY suggestions are welcome. Thank you! Jacqui

No regard for house rules...

I am living with a 17y.o. boy who has absolutely no regard for house rules. I ask him to not download porn from the internet becasue it is not allowed in this house, and he does it anyway. When confronted he lies and says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I removed his used account from the computer, and he hacked into it. I disconnected the computer modem, and he figured out how to tap his laptop into the neighbor's wireless. Every move I make, he circumvents, until I am ready to scream. And not just that, it's everything. He's grounded right now, but that doesn't matter because he ignores all the restrictions anyway, when no one is looking. Both his father and I work, so he can't be watched 24/7. Is there any hope? Signed, "At rope's end"

Girl on Girl?!

I recently learned just how "sexual" teens are... Girl on Girl, 3 sums with the guy & much much more... Parents, how are you handling this with your teen? (this came to me from a friend who drives a school bus & has over heard the girls talking during the rides to & from school) Did you know this was going on? Does anyone have advice on how to best handle this?

Please help? ADULTS ONLY!

I am a teen looking for someone other than my parents to talk to. here is the problem. I am 17 and I was homeschooled aka unschooled for most of my life. last year for 11th grade my parents let me go to the community college for a dual enrollment program. this was great in many ways because my classes were free, and all I had to do was pay for books. I was able to take some very useful and fun classes, but there was a catch. my dad is a teacher at the community college. a math teacher. I hate math with a holy passion, and my dad knows it. he will only let me continue going to the college if I spend one hour a day sitting in one of his math classes. I feel like I am locked in a cage for that hour. every one on the class thinks that I should know all the answers because my dad is the teacher. my dad thinks that I should know all the answers simply because he is a college math teacher, like I should have gotten it through genetics or something.

I am failing the class right now, my dad is mad and I don't know what to do? I am not enrolled in this class officially, but because I am home schooled for 1/2 of my classes I get "high school" credit for this class. if I drop that class then my dad will make me drop the other two classes that I take at the college (history and biology, both of which I get strait A's in) I wish I could make my dad see that I am not him and that I never will be. but this is what he expects from me. I hate it, I dread going to that prison every morning. and I know that I will NEVER look at that junk again after that class. it is all USELESS information to me. why can't my dad see that? another thing, we cannot afford a tutor, and when I do ask my dad for help on homework he gets mad at me saying "you should know this, do it yourself." or other things similar to that. I am about to burn out from lack of sleep. just math homework takes 4-5 HOURS every night. I can't take it any more. HELP!?

I have talked to my dad many times. all he says is "tough". he does not understand and he does not care. my dad is the only math teacher at this school. it is the smallest school in the state.

Go to hell...

what to do when your 14 year old tells you to go to hell he has been bad since school started 9 weeks ago i think it has lots to do with some new friends he has

Parent of teens, what would you do?

There is this kid who is 16, boy. he is not going to school, refuses to go,even when you manage to get him into the vehicle to transport him to school. he hangs out lord knows where. he doesnt come home. he doesnt want to work. he smokes pot. he is a bully to siblings. and disrepectful to parents. he refuses to continue treatment like counseling. so you let the other parent deal with him because you tryed to do what you can and the other parent and the child say they think it bests for him to live there. OK.......he continues to behave in such manner, expect his anger esculates.........

POINT OR QUESTION......what would you do? how would you reach this kid? what else is out there? I know there is boot camp, but limited money....and most programs are volunteer status and he aint gunna volunteer, i already tried. any advice? i am worried about him and dont know what to do.

in CA the police say they cant help until he breaks a law and not going to school is not breaking the law.

i have no idea where he gets the money for his pot and yeah, you can get pot for free, its who you know...and i wish i knew where he hung out because i would be the first to call the cops...i have reported other areas he hung out during school time because that is just wrong to allow a child to hang out when you know he is supose to be in school.

I am a new step-mom...


My name is Joni. I am a new step-mom (2 months) who has never had children (46 years of age). My step-child is 13 years old, and has a heart of gold (knows right from wrong), yet has not had dicipline in her life until her dad & I got married (not trying to put myself on a pedestal - promise!). Her mom is bed-ridden (has been for 4 years) and has had a difficult time controlling the daughter. Her dad travels a good deal, and she is not close to him. I have been lovingly disciplining her, and she is steadily pushing the limit -- the problem is... neither her father or mother backs me up because they feel guilt over past/current situations, and I'm left being the bad cop... all while her mom & dad are counter-acting any discipline I'm trying to give her (through spoiling her -- both with money & giving her her way on everything). The daughter controls every situation, and I am stuck trying to figure out the best way to handle a potential disaster. Help!

What rights do we have?

my partners ex is being awkward about him seeing his son. She wont let him come to our house and wont let me round hers as she does not like me- event though she has never met me. she only wants my partner to go to hers on his own without me. why do you think this is and what rights do we have about seeing him at our house at weekends etc?

Fining and jailing parents...

Is it right that the government is proposing fining and even jailing parents for their children's ...?
... behaviour whilst at the same time they have legislated to remove a parent's right to effectively discipline their own children.
They are discussing this on Radio 5 just now and I have to ask because the e-mail I sent to them about it won't get read out and I would like opinions before I go away to sort out *my* Family's problems (*caused* by government policies!).

I agree that it is yet another populist "soundbite" from this governement but it *has* happened -

If my boys had ever skipped school *I* should have dealt with it and they wouldn't have done it again I can tell you.Nowadays I could not have taken the necessary action in order that *I* ensured their attendance as *I* wished them to (and never mind the school regulations).