Online Parent Support Chat

I caught my friends 11yr old daughter at the shops with a group of kids, no adults, she told me not to tell?

my daughters friends are all 11yrs old, today was a day off school, i took my kids to the plaza and saw her school friends mucking about,, this happened a few months ago aswell, im friends with her mum and she said ''please dont tell my mum we are here alone''
as her mum works and theres a day off school she drops her at another girls house for the day, where that mum drops them off at the shopping centre and picks them up hours later,, while there they meet up with boys in their class aswell and a few months back they all got kicked out of the cinema cos they were stuffing about,, i saw them that day and thats how i knew!,, she begged me then not to tell her mum as well

if her mum knew about this she would freak out as shes real strict,,, am i being irresponsible for not dobbing? or should i just not give a damn cos my child isnt involved?
if i dob my daughter will get teased for sure, thats why i havent dobbed,,,,yet!

what would u do?,, thanks, i need advice here xxxxxxx

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I Think My Daughter Wants to be a Gold Digger? Advice?

So, I'm concerned about my daughter and her values. Ever since she was little she always sided with the "bad girls" on TV shows because they had nice clothes and I had to explain to her why they were bad people and how clothes don't make the person. Now, she's telling her aunt (who's only a year older than her) that she doesn't have to go to college because her job will be to get married when she grows up, and her favorite part in Journey to the Center of the Earth was when they found the diamonds. I'm a single mom, I've worked for everything I've ever gotten, and I'm working hard to get my degree and support myself, so I don't know where these values are coming from! Any advice on how to counter the developing gold-digger in her? I am really worried!

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Question regarding disciplining a child when that child was previously physically abused?

This question is only to those who believe in spanking. Let's suppose that I have became the legal guardian of a younger cousin a boy who is to move into my home and live with myself and my children . And this younger cousin has been physically abused previously while being spanked as in they were injured and the prospect of being spanked of course would terrify them . Well lets say i spank my children when i deem neccesary . My first inclination would be don't do it to my younger cousin , but there is a real conflict here because when the younger cousin needs to be disciplined if i don't discipline him in the same manner as my children it seems unfair .. How should i handle this ?

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7yr old was touched...what can I do?

My daughter who is 7 told me that her cousin (my brother's son) put his hands in her pants when they were at our parent's house. Of course she hasn't seen him since. I have told my brother about what my daughter said happend, and he got upset at me and told me that is what kids do. I don't think that it is right for him to just get away with it, but I don't want to call the police or anything like that because he is only 12. Should I let this go? And my daughter said that he did this one time before she told me (2 times total). What would you do?

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My son is 12 years old and is afraid of being kidnapped...

My son is 12 years old and is afraid of being kidnapped ...what should I say??
He's never acted this way before ...please help me ...he watches the news a lot ...we live in ohio, and when we had a family together, he wasn't scared, but his sister and brother moved out, and now its only me and him.

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Is that enough of a consequence?

Today my son went to work and left his ipod on at an extremely loud setting in his room behind a locked door. I, of course had the key, so I unlocked it and took the IPOD and his XBOX. Is that enough of a consequence? Is it best to leave it be now that I am once again in a quiet house and in possession of his electronics?

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Diagnosed with ADD and depression...

My daughter is 13. She's been diagnosed with ADD and depression, and I suffer from both "disorders" as well. Her father, my ex-husband, has never been diagnosed, but he has all of the symptoms of adhd and is verbally abusive.

Anyway, we rec'd a second opinion on my daughter's conditions, and the new psychiatrist is changing her antidepressant from effexor to zoloft.

I'm not being biased--My daughter is very beautiful and has a superior iq (120). I love both my daughters very, very much. However, her impulsiveness, which hasn't lessened very much and for which we are increasing the concerta, is getting her into a lot of trouble. I feel helpless, because I cannot watch her 24 hours a day and don't believe that's the answer to the problem anyway. However, I cannot trust her. She is remorseful when she gets caught (i.e., having friends over when I'm at work, smoking cigarettes, promiscuity, etc.), but she does not seem to learn from the consequences (3 day groundings--per your book, no computer, etc.) or the fact that she got a urinary tract infection and had a pregnancy scare--that's right, at 13 years old! She tells me she hates the feeling she gets by disappointing me (and her dad). When she gets caught, she's honest about what she did wrong. She just keeps making bad decisions, over and over again. Decisions that are bad for her.

I keep reading about how behavior like hers is a cry for attention. I don't know how much "attention" I need to give her. Or what kind of attention, perhaps. I take her to therapy every week, and I have signed her up for volunteer work three days a week. I'm petrified on the days when she's not chaperoned.

I don't even know what to ask for in this blog.

Lost and scared to death.


I told my son no smoking cigarettes...

Okay, I told my son no smoking cigarettes, pot or drinking at my house, but he comes home smelling like cigarettes, sometimes buzzed from alcohol, and a lot of the time he looks stoned from smoking pot. I told him I cant control what he does while is gone, but I can control what happens at home. He is 16 years old. We would not sign permission for his drivers license because of the alcohol and pot use, but as much as he talks about getting a car, he wont quit. So what more can I do?

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I'm having difficulty with patience waiting for things to get better...

I'm having difficulty with patience waiting for things to get better. I can't trust my older 18 daughter at all. We talked about re-building the trust, but she keeps lying to me about smoking and drug use. My younger daughter 16 keeps covering for her. This week alone, I have caught her stealing, smoking, taking drugs, changing her college transcripts and lying about them all while looking me right in the eye. I followed the steps of assmt. 1, but it's so hard to wait. I think she's stoned now, and all she is doing is laying around the house because, "I won't let her out".

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Do you believe that most permissive parents where raised by authoritarian parents?

Not authoritative, but the extreme authoritarian parents. Wouldn't that explain the lack of discipline in their homes?

If they were raised with overbearing parents doesn't it make sense that they want to give their children "freedom" to do as they please?

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