Online Parent Support Chat

How do you keep them at home...

How do you keep them at home, summer time hours, chores one a day, works part time? It seems like with mom and dad at work, he has the freedom to be gone and not having to come home before curfew. I am enforcing the once or twice a week family meal at home. Gets chores done before he goes out. Once he is gone, hard to get him to come home just to be home. 16 years old, car is taken away. On foot or out with friends who drive. dsims

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We prohibited their dating and she lied and has been seeing him anyway...

We have an 18 year old daughter that started dating a 20 year old when she was 17. We prohibited their dating and she lied and has been seeing him anyway and has lied repeatedly saying she is not seeing him or that they have broken up. They have had sex and she refuses to stop seeing him. He is reputed to use and sell drugs and he has previously been convicted of assault and he has threatend to commit suicide if she stops seeing her. He is very controlling and we believe he drove his car into the side of her parked car one night when she broke up with him. Her friends have told her to stop seeing him because of his bad reputation but she refuses their advice and some of them have stopped hanging around with her. Her reputation is tarnished and we believe he is dangerous.

We have had her hair tested for drugs and she does not show drug use but is abusing alcohol. We continue to tell her to stop seeing him and calling him or taking his calls but she refuses and says she is 18 and can do and see who she pleases.

We threaten to take her phone and car away if she sees her but she either says she we can't stop her or that she will commit suicide. I want to take her car and phone away unless she stops calling and seeing him but her mother says she will just leave with him or commit suicide. The daughter is in control, what should we do.

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Girlfriend Sleepover

My 16 year old son thinks he should be allowed to have his girlfriend sleepover. He won't follow my rules.

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I can't take the talking back and the arguing...

I can't take the talking back and the arguing. How do you get a kid to stop this but yet allow them to have an opinion and an stand. How do you know that you aren't pushing them too far to get them to do what you want.

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My twin 16 year old boys went to a party?

My twin 16 year old boys went to a party? ...they didnt drive, they rode with a friend. Well, they drank a few beers and were quite tipsy....we have always told them about drinking and driving etc...and that they should not drink until they are of age, but that they could always call home for any reason...they called their older brother to come pick them my oldest son broke up the party and made sure all the kids got home safe...the twins didnt tell me, my oldest son told I punish them....or chalk it up as a learning experience...they dont know that I know, it happened last night. What would you do?

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Not sure how to deal with this...

Not sure how to deal with this. My 14-year-old son ran up $200 in charges on his cell phone by downloading games, music, and videos. He knew that these cost money and that we would eventually get the bill and find out about it. When we showed him the bill he said "Sorry" and didn't at all seemed concerned. We grounded him, took the phone away, and put a block on the phone so that he can't do it again. It's only the second day of grounding and he's whining and complaining, refusing to do the chores we have set out for him, and in some cases has said he has done a chore that he obviously has not. I also caught him checking messages on the cell in two instances. He gives us the impression that he's not at all concerned that we must pay this $200 and that we're ruining his life by grounding him and taking the phone away.

This is not the first time something like this has happened. Last summer he ran up $200 in iTunes charges on his iPod. In that case, we sold the iPod to pay for the download charges. (He has since earned enough money and repurchased an iPod.) Then, about four months ago he ran up $250 in cell phone charges for text messaging. We gave him the benefit of the doubt on this one because he said that his friends told him that it didn't cost anything--they all have text messaging included on their plans--and nearly $200 came from incoming text messages and not ones he was sending. In this instance, we took the phone away from him until we could change our cell plan to include text messaging.

I just don't know what to do. Grounding him doesn't seem to be the right thing. And yet if he's not in the house then I want him to have his cell phone with him in case of an emergency or I need to get in touch with him. I'd like to make him do chores to pay off the bill, but once he gets the phone back he has no incentive to do those chores. (And he complains that weeding and washing the car are too difficult and refuses to do them. Yes, I know, we've spoiled him.)

What are reasonable consequences here? And how do you reach a kid who gives the impression that he just doesn't care about anything but his own instant gratification? (This kid who just brought me a milk shake that he made "just for me" and said he's sorry for the way he's acting but he can't help it. Sigh.)

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Is anyone else shocked by the lack of knowledge about conception in today's teenagers?

Don't parents talk to their children about sex anymore, at all? My Mom was far from being an "open book" when it came to sex, but I remember well the talk she gave me when I was about 10 as to where babies come from. And starting in middle school, we learned about ovulation, how babies are conceived, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, childbirth... aren't they teaching any of that in school these days?

Another thing that shocks me is the number of teenagers I see who are trying to have a baby with their boyfriends - with little thought as to how hard, and expensive it is, to raise a child. I have always loved children, but the thought of having one before I was an adult NEVER crossed my mind!

What do you think has caused this shift in thinking, societally?

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Aspergers Child

Anyone have a child with Aspergers? Have you found a way to stop the "meltdowns" and temper tantrums?

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What do you do when your child is fighting for attention?

I pay my little darling a lot of attention, (she's four) respect and value what she has to say. I never interupt her and always really listen to what she has to say. However, when ever I or friends or family start talking she will gladly stomp around say WAH NI NO LA BBBRRA DEEEPPO DDEEPPO DEEE till whoever is speaking has to stop talking and ask her to calm down. Please don't say that she wants my attention because I know that, and talking calmly and explaining isn't working (or it's taking a long time). Oh and please no smacking or naughty corner solutions. Thanks.

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12 Year old son?

I been having behavior with my 12 year old son. Recently he saw a therapist. I was told my son is suffering from Depression and might also have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. His father is not around. At school teacher complain about his behavior. Recently he was given detention for 3 days for picking on a kid. and also the teacher ask him to stop making a sound that he does by his mouth. THis clicking sound he does notice this since he was a toddler. How can i explain the teacher / school about this. He can't stop making this sound is not that he does it all day. but he can't control it. I trying to do the best thing for my son.. how would you as a parent handle this situation of this clicking sound. would appreciate. thanks.

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