Online Parent Support Chat

We prohibited their dating and she lied and has been seeing him anyway...

We have an 18 year old daughter that started dating a 20 year old when she was 17. We prohibited their dating and she lied and has been seeing him anyway and has lied repeatedly saying she is not seeing him or that they have broken up. They have had sex and she refuses to stop seeing him. He is reputed to use and sell drugs and he has previously been convicted of assault and he has threatend to commit suicide if she stops seeing her. He is very controlling and we believe he drove his car into the side of her parked car one night when she broke up with him. Her friends have told her to stop seeing him because of his bad reputation but she refuses their advice and some of them have stopped hanging around with her. Her reputation is tarnished and we believe he is dangerous.

We have had her hair tested for drugs and she does not show drug use but is abusing alcohol. We continue to tell her to stop seeing him and calling him or taking his calls but she refuses and says she is 18 and can do and see who she pleases.

We threaten to take her phone and car away if she sees her but she either says she we can't stop her or that she will commit suicide. I want to take her car and phone away unless she stops calling and seeing him but her mother says she will just leave with him or commit suicide. The daughter is in control, what should we do.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

While many teens threaten suicide to get attention it is impossible to look at the face of the situation and make that determination. When somebody makes a suicide threat it must be taken seriously. You should not put it on yourself to decide how credible that threat is or how likely it is that the person will follow through. The truth of a suicide threat is not your burden to bear. If you hear somebody is considering suicide, be it directly or through the rumor mill, make sure you alert somebody who is able to better assess the situation. A parent, teacher, counsellor or other trusted adult is a good choice.