Online Parent Support Chat



Short version: 11th grader has been exhibiting what I would describe as familiar behaviors after reading the board here: increasing isolation, increased entitlement issues, increasing under achieving, violent outbursts, depression, some obsessive personality. We have struggled with definiing exactly what is normal teenage angst and what would be real problem. Within the last 7 months these behaviors escalated,incredibly. Violent outburst because verbal abuse, then property abuse and now we have had 3 incidents of physical abuse that are escalating in nature. We started outside intervention with counselor/mentor situation after 2nd but obviously we waited too long. Last night, his physical attack resulted in councelor recommending him for involuntary commitment (we did not want to press legal charges).

Please understand, I am operating on no sleep and am emotionaly exhausted and feeling really lost. 2nd counselor (ER assessment) also recommend commitment after seeing! interaction. Both counselors and ER doc felt that this would be a very temp situation for a much need psyche evaluation and would also service to get the family in safe place while setting up necessary intensive support services for him to come home. He is a very good kid but the concern is the impulse control he is losing.

Intake at facility he was admitted to did not go well, I guess the Dr was not at his best at 5:30 in the AM but he went from absolutely refusing to admitting him to telling son that he will be here for (2) weeks at minimum.

The plan was to use the 2-3 the needed evaluation as well as find a local respit home that could accept him when things seemed to escalate here at home. (He has no problems in school, other than wanting to skate through just doing homework, so counselor really did not want to upset this dynamic.) Also, those targeted including son would begin individual and also whole family begin family therapy. (We were just beginning the family therapy before this incident).

I was told son would be permited to call me this AM, which he did and he is in a state of panic. I just kept telling him that we love him, we miss him and are looking forward to having him come home soon. He understands (now) that we all need to make changes. <>

I can't make him feel good about this situation but I am trying to encourage him to be honest and candid during his evaluation tomorrow AM.Current counselor and ER Councelor have both stated they would call evaluator tomorrow AM to give their observations. I am also telling him to be cooperative with staff and learn the rules and apply them. I've talked to his nurse twice now and she states he is doing better.

My question: I want what is best for my whole family (husband, siblings, self) as well as him. I do not want to lie to him and I definately do not want him to think he is going through this alone. But I do not want to give him false hope especailly given what the intake DR told him. And that is the problem, he is wanting me to tell him I'm going to fix it and make everything all right. Does anybody have any words of encouragement that I can share with him while we take this one day at a time?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One out of every ten children or adolescents has a serious mental health problem, and another 10% have mild to moderate problems.

There is a lack of mental health services for children and adolescents. Less than half of children with mental health problems get treatment, services, or support. Only one in five get treatment from a mental health worker with special training to work with children. Families that are poor, are people of color, or have children with other disabilities or health concerns have an especially difficult time getting services that would identify, prevent or treat mental health problems.

I'm glad you have the rare opportunity to actually be in a position to help your child while the problems are still manageable rather than waiting until the "fire is simply too big to put out."

Good luck and God bless ...your family is in my prayers.