Online Parent Support Chat

Any points?

My daughter's not obeying me. Any points? Please listen now. My daughter is not obeying whatever i tell her. Please help me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Try some disciplin. Parent up and make her obey. This means that there has to consistent disciplin for what ever she is doing.
I promise that if you are consistent, and make it mean something to her, after a few times she will listen.
You dont say how old she is, but sit down with her. Let her know you are no longer accepting this disrespect and that there will now be consiquences for the actions. ANd if you want, go ahead and lay out what the consequences will be. Then follow through. The first time she shows inappropriate behavior, carry out the discipline. One thing to do is to take away a fav toy or possession. She will test you a few times. But once she sees you mean what you are saying and that you follow through, she will obey.

I know its hard, but dont give in. Giving in even just one time will show her that the longer she fits or misbehaves or whatever, she will eventually get what she wants.

Anonymous said...

Consistency.

One of the laws of physics, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction," applies to discipline. Do not use threats. If you tell her to do something, and she does not do it, she should be punished immediately and to the extent of the failure to do the act.

The goal of every parent is to invoke self discipline in their child. The child does something even when they don't want to do it. If the child does not have self discipline they have to have discipline applied externally (by you). Over time they learn that self discipline hurts less then external discipline and the need for external discipline decreases (and hopefully goes away completely before they leave the house where societies justice system provides the external discipline)


The key however is consistency. Some parents do 3 strikes and your out. Some parents don't give a second warning. Some parents don't give any warning. All work, but a combination will never work.

Your child is constantly learning, and if she learns that if she doesn't do it the first time, the second time, the third time, or the forth time that you will just give up.... she'll keep on not doing it.

mrsvofala said...

It is so easy for people to say "well just discipline her" Oh come on!! Are you kidding us? We do discipline and they still are defiant. My son has had consistent discipline and we are still having problems. Suggestion though.... We are sending our son to the NAtional Guard Youth Challenge program in January, it is for males and females. Go to the website and look through it. I have been to the orientation already and feel it is the best thing for my household and for him. I think each state has one. its free and it gives the kids the structure and discipline they need. It is NOT a boot camp. strictly volunteer program.