Online Parent Support Chat

Defiant and resentful...

I have a 15 year old daughter that is completely defiant and resentful. She blames herself for her dad and I being divorced (when she was 2) and she "hates" her dad right now. She is really up and down in the emotional department with me. I am actually in the middle of a custody suit to regain physical custody of her. She has been living with me and my husband for going on 6 years (shelived with her dad for about 2 years). She is using very foul language to my face, throwing objects, and removing herself from anything that has to do with spending time with any other than her friends unless we make her. She is now on meds and sees a psychologist. She tells me he doesn't help, but he tells me that she talks about lots of things when they are in session. She was also molested by a neighbor in her dads house when she lived with him and waited to tell me over the summer when she came to visit. I know she has a lot going on, but she shows no respect, no organization, no responsibility, and she lies habitually. I am suppose to start teaching her to drive in a few weeks and at this point I am not even willing to do that because I cannot trust her anymore. I will say that she has 6 A's, 1 B and 1 C which is good, so she is carrying good grades. I just don't know what to do and I need help.

Thank you for listening.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you just described oppositional defiant disorder. Mark covers this in his eBook. Have you downloaded it yet?

For yourself, counseling can provide an outlet for your own mental health concerns that could interfere with the successful treatment of your child's symptoms. A depressed or anxious parent may disengage from his or her child, and that can trigger or worsen oppositional behaviors.

Learn ways to calm yourself. Keeping your own cool models the behavior you want from your child.

Take time for yourself. Develop outside interests, get some exercise and spend some time away from your child to restore your energy.

Let go of things that you or your child did in the past. Start each day with a fresh outlook and a clean slate.