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What to do about him and trouble at school?

My son's 5 years old & in kindergarten. He's been in daycare his whole life. When he was going to daycare he was always getting in trouble for acting out, not minding, bothering & hitting other kids. Now he's in school & he's had to go to the principal's office more than once & had to sit out of recess as well as have detention. He sometimes won't pay attention during class.(twirling around, falling out of his chair repeatedly & so forth) He also plays rough w/kids...pushing, hitting, etc & that's why he has to go to the office. Him & I talk about this ALL the time & he gets grounded, his toys taken away, etc. It doesn't seem to help. I don't understand why he won't behave so he can stay out of trouble. He's a sweet boy(i know it probably doesn't sound like it) but he is. He's happy & pretty much always stays in a good mood. He's pretty hyper though, always bouncing & running around. He's always on the move & he has a hard time minding me as well so it's not just at school.


Anonymous said...

I'd start by signing him up for some after school activites such as sports, music or karate. All of these can provide disaplint.
Continue to be firm and not let him get away with this behavior. Try and start a schedule and an award system for him. In my house we use coins. When you do well in school, behave, get chores done etc, you get a certain amount of coins. At the end of the week, these coins can be traded in for staying up a little later, picking a place to go out to eat, doing some activity etc. If they don't behave, coins are taken away and a punishment is given.
If things don't improve, I'd then talk to his doctor and see if he needs to be evaluated. If you're told to see another doctor, I'd suggest seeing a pediatric neuro developmentalist.
How does he perform in school? Does he understand what he's being taught? What does he say/do when you talk to him and try to explain that this kind of behavior is wrong?
This behavior has happened with my two older ones.
My oldest is in the 4th grade and is ADHD along with some learning issues, but nothing severe. He had much in common with your son, just didn't seem to understand why this behavior was unacceptable and struggled in school. I signed him up for after school activites, worked more at home with him, hired a tutor and set up a schedule at home. All of these had an impact, but seeing a doctor and working on his problems together really helped. He's not medicated and is doing A LOT better.
I also have a 7.5yr who also some what similar to this, but did well in school. For him, just having activites and a schedule to follow calmed him down. Just a phase in his case.
Best Wishes =]

Anonymous said...

he needs to be evaluated
Mine had similar probs after he started Kindergarten
finally after being evaluated and diagnosed Yes and medicated
He is in 3rd Grade and on the A/B Honor roll
behavior and attention problems GONE
good luck

Anonymous said...

have you had him checked for ADD/ADHD? it sounds like my cousin who is kinds of like this and he was diagnosed with ADHD. The way they control him is punish him, constantly, and he's gotten better. Not physical punishment, but they sit him on the side and make him watch the other kids have fun. Sometimes though, it does help for them to realize what they are doing to others. If the other kids hit him back or do the same stuff back, he'll most likely stop it.

Example: A bunch of us went to Red Lobster for dinner and he was there along with my other cousins, and my brother was there too. we're all playing around, running around and stuff, and then he starts kicking and punching people in their danger zones. My aunt and uncle took him aside, sat him in timeout. When they let him go, we was at it again, so i said, "let me handle it," when he went to kick me, i stepped aside, and gave him a light kick to the shins. He cried and said that i was a bully, but i said, "you do the same stuff, now you know what it's like" He didn't kick anyone else that night.