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Do you think parents of adult children have selective memory?

Do you think parents of adult children have selective memory?

I am constantly seeing questions and editorials from parents of adult children. Most of them start with "What is wrong with parents these days?". Most of them end with "I never allowed my children to do that." or "My child NEVER behaved inappropriately in public because I taught him better." I think they are full of it. I have three small children and I am around a lot of kids. I personally have NEVER met a perfect one, regarless of how wonderful the parent is. My mother-n-law is full of advice on how to raise children. In private her kids tell of how she abused them and constantly berated them. Funny, she never mentioned those tactics in all of her wonderful lectures. Whew, I feel better.

2 comments:

ops said...

Probably, I'm trying to forget the things I wish I hadn't done or failed to do with my grown kids.

As for why they do this, there's All or Nothing thinking.

I do know in thinking about my own childhood, that children behaved better in public then. Part of that was that they didn't go out as much. All people ate out less and families very little. The restaurants were designed for adults, too, without the posted menus on the walls that encourage the gimmees and the tile floors that amplify noise. Shopping was not a spectator sport if children were along so there was lots less opportunity for them to get bored and obnoxious.

It's easier to have well-behaved kids if you only take them out when you can concentrate on their behavior.

ops said...

Great answer. Thanks