Online Parent Support Chat

Locking child in room?

My fiance's baby's mother has no control over her 3 yr old. She lives with us and spends the night with her mother once in a blue moon. (Because she lives with these random people, she does not have a permanent place to stay) Recently the mother told my fiance that she had to lock the little one in her room because she refused to listen to her and take a nap. A baby gate was not used to lock her in there, she switched the door knob around and actually shut the door and locked it from the outside.

Is it ever appropriate to lock a child in their room if they will not take a nap, or go to bed?

When the little one is with us we NEVER shut the door to her room and she stays in her bed and does as we say.

They are going to court soon to get a custody agreement and visitation figured out.
I know this is my fiance's problem and he has talked to the mother about that but had gotten nowhere with that.

I'm just looking for insight and to see if other parents or caretakers do this.


Anonymous said...

I have closed my daughter in a room before. Especially during time outs.
It's not my proudest moment....but the futility of my 4 year old knowing that she can't escape makes her understand the depth of her punishment.

Keep in mind that punishments should reflect the age. My daughter is 4 so she gets just under 5 minutes in a corner, if that doesn't work, she goes to her room. I shut the door (we don't actually have a lock on the door).

If she tries to get out (so she can have her temper tantrum in the room I am in) I put up a gate in front of her door. she knows that she is not allowed to touch it.

That usually does it.
Make it appropriate to the crime.

Anonymous said...

I dont agree with it, but the family I was a nanny for used it on their 2 year old for awhile after he left the crib and started sleeping in a bed. She didnt want him roaming the house and getting into things when everyone was sleeping if he woke up. It's not unheard of, but I dont think it is appropriate. This woman, however sounds like a winner (not) so she has no idea what she is doing with a child.

Anonymous said...

I am the mother of 4 kids. I did the exact same thing with my youngest (she will be 3 in Jan). I lock her in during naptime ever since the childproof door handle wouldn't work anymore (she just took it off) I rarely use the lock anymore because she stays in her room. I don't think it's abuse or anything. Sometimes you just can't keep them in.