Online Parent Support Chat

Christmas problems?

Every christmas i have the same problem, my parents are divorced and my mum lives alone. my mum is very ill with arthritis and can hardly move, i have a brother but may aswell not when it comes to helping out with my mum.

My husband is very caring and understanding when it comes to my mum, but i think as the years have gone on and weve spent each xmas with my mum hes patient are starting to wear. Hes parents live in manchester and where down south, last year we tried to do the two in one day (xmas day) but it just didnt work,so we always see them boxing day. There also very understanding but i still feel guilty.

I have to spend xmas with my mum, im all she has and shes understandably suffering from depression so not being there isnt an option. I suggested this year my husband go to his parents with the children and i stay at my mums, but he doesnt want to be without me!

i know there isnt really a solution, just wondered if anyone was looking forward to next week as much as me!!


Anonymous said...

If your husband and his family are understanding then you should not feel bad. You only have one mom and for how long no one knows. Try to let the guilty feeling go and have a good Christmas!! You can only do what you can do!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I used to enjoy the holidays but the last few years I'm starting to dread it. My husband's family, who I thought I got along with fine prior to our marriage (his sister was my best friend), rarely speaks to me anymore and I have discovered they have absolutely no manners. I'm not saying I'm so perfect but manners are a nice guideline. I feel more for my husband's 1st wife now. "She was mean to those kids and nobody liked her." Yeah, she didn't do right by the kids and probably was hateful but I'm finding out she may have had a reason. I don't know if it's being married to this brother or being the stepmother of these 2 kids, but I see why she kept her distance. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I have the same problem with you. Both my mom and the mother in law are living alone. So it is so difficult for my husband and I to choose where we should go during the holidays, even the weekends. That will a long standing problem in our marriage. We used to go to my mom one week, and the his mom the next week. But recently a new problem rised, his mom felt we are unfair for the last three weeks. I don't know how to deal with that, I feel so upset about that. We've tried our best. We hope them can give us supports, at least understanding. Fortunately my husband stands on my side. But I am still confused, I don't konw how to do in the future.

Anonymous said...

I know Christmas is over, but have you ever thought of having everyone over to your house? This solved our dilema beautifully! Husband's Mom is all alone (even if SHE said she was OK being alone, he felt too bad about it), so we usually have everyone over our house. Also, when we do go somewhere else, my family ALWAYS invites her to. After all, we are all family--even if only by marriage and it is only 1 more person. Hope this helps for the next occasion!