Online Parent Support Chat


Oppositional Defiant Child need help!?

Please I don't want negative replies. I need startegies that other parents have used to help with a oppositional defiant child. She is 10 and is on Zoloft and Focalin and you can tell a difference when she doesn't take her meds. She is a honor roll student and does Cheerleading in the fall and swimming or dance in the spring. She is involved in her student council. She has been tested by different therapists and has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I used to work with kids with disabilities. One of the strategies that we found that worked the best was to have a strict routine for getting ready in the morning, mealtimes, and going to bed. Schedule the rest of the day in 30-minute blocks that are interchangeable (room-cleaning, homework, computer/tv time, etc). She can then choose her schedule but what needs to be done can be done. Allow her complete freedom to choose which block to do when and then reward her with a checkmark/sticker toward a big thing like a new vidoe game or a new DVD that she can earn (don't forget to schedule lots of extra time with the new reward). She gets a mark for each block completed (even the leisure ones, you are rewarding compliance and responsibility so playing along with the leisure blocks should be rewarded). If she chooses not to do any blocks, she chooses not to get the rewards and chooses not to move through her day. (If you don't choose, I choose, and I choose manual labor like scrubbing the bathroom or other hard work so that playing along seems like a better idea).
Allow her to "save face" by never commenting on her cooperation or lack thereof, but compliment her responsibility, her hard work, and other things that will give her a sense of independence and accomplishment. This may not work, but the idea is to work WITH the disorder, not against it. What bothers her is being told what to do, so find ways not to tell her what to do. Then, when it is important for her to do something when and how you say, you may be able to get more cooperation because it is so much more rare.
I hope that this gives you some ideas, good luck.

She has a legitimate biochemical/behavioral disorder. Whether to keep her on the meds comes down to a risk/benefit analysis, is the benefit worth the side effects. She may not need meds for the rest of her life but do not let anyone bully you into taking her off or keeping her on the meds (including school, doctors, family). YOU are her mom and you know and love her. Do what your heart tells you is best. If she can get along, learn and grow better with the meds, keep her on them. If the side effects are interfering with her life and you feel she is a different person and not able to be herself, take her off, but talk with your doctor first. The next years may be trying at times, but I would wager that you are glad to have a beautiful, clever daughter who will take no guff, even if she is hard to teach and get along with sometimes.