Online Parent Support Chat

We have a defiant 15 year old son...

Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support = I need help with the following issue:

We have a defiant 15 year old son who will not admit when he has done something right in front of us. How do we approach him correctly and get him to admit that he has done that and how do we get him to stop doing his purposeful annoying/bothering to his younger brothers?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A person does not do these things unless there is an underlying reason. Has there been recent family trauma, i.e. divorce, death, abuse (verbal, physical, sexual)? Does your child have special needs, i.e. learning disability, ADD, ADHD, etc.? How long has this been going on or has this just recently happened? Is there any family history of depression in your family or in your child's father's family? Is this happening at school or at home or both? Have you tried talking to him about this? If so, how did you go about it and what was his reaction(s)?

I know that these are a lot of questions to pose to you, but in order to give good advice, you need to provide as much information as you can, as there are a lot of reasons for why people do certain things.

Bottom line, your child needs to understand that this is wrong and that there are consequences for actions. There are a myriad of ways to go about doing this in order for your son to really learn his lesson about this. Somethings work for some people but not others.

Anonymous said...

The older siblings always think they know everything....since they are older. They're just trying to parent the younger siblings. That's all.

Anonymous said...

i think older siblings just want to control their brothers.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your son has a number of problems at this point and he needs help. Certainly, as parents you and his father need some help in developing a discipline plan that will be effective with him.
You didn't mention taking him to a psychologist or counselor, but that might be a place to start. You need to find a psychologist or therapist in your area who has a lot of experience working with families in which there is a teenager with oppositional defiant disorder. Such therapists are usually very good at establishing a relationship with a defiant teenager and then working with the whole family to get some order and appropriate discipline in the home. If the therapy isn't working, then this kind of experienced counselor can help you decide on the next step.