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Now the problem I have is with the stepfather...

Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support = I need help with the following issue: I have 2 boys ages 19 and 22. They were pretty much out of control but I've been able to get a handle of them since I signed up with this website several years ago.

Now the problem I have is with the stepfather. He was in a shouting match with the 19year old. He told the kid that he needed to be out of the house by the first of the year (tomorrow). Well I just spoke with the boy and he tells me that he has no where to go but he has a couple of places where he can stay. The boy works parttime.

The stepfather also told the older boy that he needs to move out by Feb 1st. This boy has not been able to find a job. I have even been putting in job applications for him in addition to the jobs he applies for but because of the economy and the fact that few are hiring right now he's still unemployed.

The stepfather who is 71 (and I am 50). We've been together for 15 years and married for 6 years. He has told me that he is tried of raising other peoples children.

I want my kids to be out of the house also but I have a problem with them being forced out before they are ready. I don't want my kids living in a car or spending a couple of nights here and there at various homes.

I'm afraid that if I intervene the stepfather will move out and if I dont intervene my kids will think that I don't care about them.

This maybe the wrong forum for this topic but I don't know where else to turn at this late date.

Help...I don't know how to handle this!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

first of all get the child away from him, by you letting him abuse him then you are doing the same, you need to help your son by counceling,and just be there for him,Tell your husband to pick on somebody his own size, he is a coward,i would love to be there and here him,because that would be the last time that would ever happen. GET HELP AND PROTECT YOUR CHILD.......

Anonymous said...

Professional counselling is very helpful and will get him back on track....

Mark said...

It must be so difficult having to live with the constant conflict between your husband and your son. Family life can be really tough at times, but being part of a stepfamily can often be particularly difficult and complicated.

I am wondering if the fights between your husband and your son are to do with discipline. If so, it may be beneficial to speak to your husband to see if you can come to some agreement on this, particularly in respect of whether or not you should take on full responsibility for this. This is something you need to decide between you and there is nothing to say that you shouldn’t go down this particular route. However, as you seem to feel that your son has a problem with respect, it may help to ask yourself whether doing so would actually help him in this area or could possibly make things worse, as he may feel he no longer needs to show his stepfather any respect.

If the fights are in connection to other issues, perhaps you can encourage them to sit down and talk things through in an attempt to resolve matters. If they share any common interests, perhaps you can also suggest that they spend some time together, just the two of them, which may help to improve their relationship.