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My son is acting out in violence ...is it because i have been a bad parent?

Today he tried to strangle his 3 year old sister. He is 7 he is very angry yells a lot and screams when I try to help him. He stabbed a kid in the arm with a pencil at school. I have had my kids taken from me once before and all of them put into foster care because of this problem they thought I was beating him so they took them away and gave them back after they put him on A.d.h.d medicine but he is still angry I have taken him to counselors he won't talk to them. Is he this way because of me? What should i do about this?

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep trying to find a counselor that your son can build a rapport with. This is not your fault, but you have to stay on top of this problem and do everything in your power to get it fixed. And never leave him alone with his sister or any other child or animal he could harm. Do research on the medicine he is taking for his ADHD and see what the side effects are, but keep in mind that manufacturer's don't always list all of the side effects they know about. Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

violence is very comon act which is usualy reflected in the closest people round the kid. it is as counselors belive an act which is encouraged by something he have lived thrue and/or seen. also is very common to be a relfection of the kids fears. something in his life is wrong and he feels it so hard and just dont know how to deal with it. it is not a meather of understanding or explaining to him it is all about the feelings. counselors cant so much bring a person to its path as a parent can. for now as i belive he is very angry at the world and i am not sure is that because of you or mabye something he have seen or lived...i think that mabye you should send his sister away for some time and let him be with you all the time. let him destroy everything with his anger and soon when there will be nothing to destory and yet nobody will be angry at him and you will still love him i belive he will feel your love and even if he dont understand why he will know that his anger is bad and it makes him bad not you, start looking for peasfull cartoons dont take him to school. give your self a total pease. just you and him. i belive he will understand...good luck!!!

Anonymous said...

No, not necessarily. He may have problems within himself. Of course, it's hard to really help you on what you may or may not be doing that helps or hurts his actions without spending time around you and your son. First, I would pray for your son. He has anger somewhere in him. You also need to pray for the knowledge within yourself to help him. Don't give up on him, no matter what you do. It may also help if you start talking to a counselor, and maybe they can help you to help him, since he will not talk to a counselor. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

No, you're not a bad paqrent. But if you ask my MOTHER-IN-LAW (stupid woman) she'll tell you he's been EXPOSED. Yes. EXPOSED. What the hell ever that means. I have four boys myself, 5-11, and they all beat the crap out of each other. I'm constantly worried about it and my husband says that boyw will be boys. So what I try to do on a constantly, daily, sometimes hourly manner is verbal praise. Praise everything they do that is not bad. I even go so far as to heap it on heavy when one will willingly share with the other, or they let someing go the others did. Its a constant battle, but love will win

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to be blunt but who is hurting your boy? Does he spend time with a male adult or teenager? Unless you have given birth to an actually evil person without conscience(it happens) then you have a child who is acting out due to abuse by someone and if it isn't you then who?

Do you hug your boy everyday and tell him how much you love him or do you yell at him to get away from his sister even if he isn't "doing" anyting to her? Did you forget you had a son when your daughter was born? My cousin did that, she locked the boy in his bedroom though he screamed and banged just so she didn't have to bother with him while she dressed her dolly girl...poor boy grew up with terrible behaviour issues and ended up in jail before the military...he's really just a killer in training.

You see there can be any number of reasons why your son is acting out. Do everything you can to show himm you love him and he can talk to yo about ANYTHING.

Anonymous said...

If a doctor put him on meds for ADHD, he has a chemical imbalance. The good news is it's not your fault, the bad news is that it can be such a challenge. Ask the school councilor for a parenting book or class you can take. If your son won't go to counseling, you can go and get help for him. Very clear guidelines are important with immediate consequences. In my experiences, spanking will make the violence worse. You need to teach him how to handle his anger without hurting anyone. Best of luck to you!