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Out of control teen-aged daughter...

Parents Support One Another @ = I need help with the following issue:

I'm a divorced Mom of an out of control teen-aged daughter. She's always been a strong-willed kid and for the first two years after the divorce, living with her was a nightmare, as she blamed me for the divorce, etc. Given x-husband lives in the same community, daughter has played us to her advantage.

She is extremely manipulative and threatening in getting her way. We have joint custody and visitation is 50/50. However, she lived with me 8.5 months of this year, given an argument with her Dad in January. Last month, she became verbally abusive and physicially threatened me when I said NO to something she wanted to do. She called her Dad, and she has been with him since.

Her Dad is the parent with less control and lets her do what she wants, where I am more inclined to keep after her and check on her whereabouts. I also work in my home and am here for her. She feels she needs "space" from me for a while, where I feel it is because she doesn't have rules at her Dad's. She refuses to live by my rules and disrespects me and my home.

I also know of many things this year that she has done which I do not approve of (drinking, smoking, trying pot and I believe, even sex). Most of these things are by her own admission. Her Dad is aware as I have told him, however, he still gives her more reign than I do.

Her Dad informed me this week that he is going away for a week later this month. By divorce decree, the other parent is to be made aware and is the first to watch the child, should the other parent be away. Well, she is refusing to stay here and has left 3 threatening voicemails to me. She is threatening to make my life a living hell and even talks of killing herself if she has to stay here.

I'm of the opinion that as her parent and guardian, she should stay here while her Dad is away or else he shouldn't go anywhere. I'm also convinced she will make my life a living hell, and want to know what rights the parents' have when a child becomes both verbally and physically abusive to the parent? I don't feel she should be given a choice in this matter, and honestly, if she cannot stay here for a week when her Dad is gone, then I feel she has some very serious issues.


Anonymous said...

Was there a question in there?

Anonymous said...

Try a family counsellor, a good one at that.

Anonymous said...

hi!!coming from a teenager who was in the same situation,first off all teenager goes through this stage what is call "we hate everyone and everything" i know it sounds crazy but this is what you do to save her hold your daughter let her know that you love her,the most important thing of all is NEVER GIVE UP ON HER,if she feels that you are giving up on her she might run off with this jerk who you refer to as the "boyfriend".do everything that is possible to let her know you mean business,sent her to a teen out reach center if she want give in.she feels she can do anything she wants because as you said "she live when she wants and says what she wants"once you sent her off for additional help she will hate you but later own in life she will appreciate everything you did to help her.Your jobs is let her know that she is loved and love me she will open up!!! so, i hope this help coming from a teen who was in the same situation to a concern parent....SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER!!!