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Ive lost my boys somewhere and i dont know how to get them back...

Parents Support One Another @ = I need help with the following issue:

I have 2 boys who have had a horrible time in the last year after a series of traumatic events caused by their father, They are irish twins 8 +9, and the older one has reused school since this happened, we have tried everything, professionals, books, home programs thru our city, Im at a lost, now if he doesnt start to go he is being referred to a dayschool program for kids with severe behavior problems, Hes a good kid and iy scares me to death what is happening and I dont know what to do to regain the love and security we had, prior to this, I try everyday to show them, tell them, spend time with them, but its never enough, they are so unhappy and angry, all progress has been slow at best and now ppl are mad at me and questioning my parenting skills? one son has adapted back to school very well, but sees it as unfair that his brother gets all the accomodations , which has caused alot of resentment, Ive lost my boys somewhere and i dont know how to get them back.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Children with school refusal are scared to go to school. They may be so scared that they won't leave the house. School refusal is most common in 5- and 6-year-olds and in 10- and 11-year-olds, but it can start at any age.

The problem might start after a child has been home for awhile, such as after a holiday, summer vacation, or brief illness. It also might happen after a stressful event, such as moving to a new house or the death of a pet or relative.

The child is unreasonably scared of going to school.

The child might pretend to be sick or say he or she doesn't want to go to school.

The child usually wants to stay home because he or she feels safe there.

Children who won't go to school often say they feel sick. They might wake up and say they have a headache, stomachache, or sore throat. If they stay home from school, the "illness" might go away, but it comes back the next morning before school. Some children may have crying spells or temper tantrums.

Children with school refusal may worry about the safety of their parents or themselves. They may not want to be in a room by themselves, and they may be scared of the dark. They also may have trouble falling asleep by themselves and might have nightmares.

Children who are truant (or "playing hooky") are not scared to go to school the way children with school refusal are. The table below compares some of the characteristics of school refusal and truancy.

Take your child to the doctor. Anxiety or a physical illness might be causing the problem. You also should talk to your child's teacher or school counselor.

Your child's doctor will be able to rule out any illness that may be causing the problem.

Unreasonable fears about leaving home can be treated. Parents must keep trying to get their child to go back to school. Your child's doctor may want your child to talk to a psychologist, social worker, or child psychiatrist. The doctor also might prescribe medicine to help with your child's anxiety.

The longer your child stays out of school, the harder it will be to return. The goal of treatment is to help your child learn ways to reduce anxiety and return to school.

Children who do not go to school for long periods may develop serious learning setbacks or social problems. Children who do not get professional help might have emotional problems such as anxiety when they get older. Early treatment of this problem is important for your child's well-being.