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I have a 16 year old foster child (girl) who tattles a lot on other children. What should I do?

I have a 16 year old girl that tattles on everything that my biological girls do. For instance: My oldest daughter wiped off the counter tops and dropped food on the floor and didn't pick it up, The Foster child came to me and told me. The things she tells me isnt hurting or doing any kind of harm, she just tattles a lot. And my teenagers are not liking her because of it. I have 15 and 16 girls. They distance their selves from her because they cannot trust her at all. It really upsets them that she runs and tells on them for everything. What/How should I tell her NOT to tell me everything they do?


Anonymous said...

I recently entered into a marriage where we have to blend families. I always raised my kids not to be tattlers unless someone was getting hurt or about to get hurt, both physically and verbally. Or... if any type of property was damaged or about to be damaged.

My step-daughter was never taught restraint in tattling. I immediately set the rules down and it took a while for her to get it. Every time she would tattle on something outside the guidelines, I would ask her "Did someone get hurt?... Did something get damaged? The answer was always no. So I would say, then I don't want to know about it. After about 6 months, it finally stopped. Stick with it... she'll get there eventually.

Anonymous said...

That's a tough one. She probably feels as though she is competing with your daughters for your attention - and tattling on them will somehow make them look bad to you.

What would happen if your daughters asked her not to tell you - as though it were a fun secret between the three of them. This might make her feel really included and form more of a sisterly alliance with them.