Parents Support One Another @ MyOutOfControlTeen.com/support = I need help with the following issue:
My son refuses to do any thing we ask him to do. He says "i will do it, I will do it" but never gets to it. When we punish him for refusing to the work, he ignores our orders and does what pleases. When we try to talk to him he will not listen, he will simply walk away.
We at most times end up taking/locking the TV, taking away the internet etc. But, then when we do that we end punishing the good kids as well. Any advice?
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5 comments:
Hey this sounds like MY SON! He is almost 17 and straight A's and in basketball and track! This will b his senior year! At times I can get him to do alot of things around the house-BUT normally when he is ready to do them! I normally give him a time limit. Like in the morning I will tell him before bed tonight he has to clean his room-put his laundry away and take out trash. That way he has all day notice it has to be done and can do it whenever he feels like it as long as its done by the time I said. If not I take his cell fone and GOD FORBID he would die without the cell fone! So that seems to work well for me. He is a normal 17 year old boy-sounds like it to me! Good luck mom! Plus at the age they r at- they r getting this wild independance streak going ya know? They dont like being told what to do and when to do it- god forbid- they think they r all grown up now!!!!
I would make him pay you.
Since you are the one who ends up doing it he should pay you for your time and effort. Maybe 50 cent or a dollar for every chore you end up doing for him.
Find out what motivates him and use that as an incentive. For my step daughter, it's money. She earns an allowance - if she sits on her butt and does nothing, she gets nothing. Just decide what to do, make it clear to him, and stick to it. If you enforce it and he doesn't acre once, keep doing it. After a few weeks of not being allowed to hang uot with firiends or watch TV or go out after school or whatever.. he may get sick of it and realize you aren't kidding. Any kid can stand a punishment for a day... it's the repeated occurances and mom sticking her ground that will hopefully make it work.
try giving him allowence when he does do his chores
being a teenager..getting things taken away sucks!!!!!
but i dont agree that taking away everything is the right thing...sometimes it works at first, but if it gets over board then i will never do chores...
when i leave me stuff out around the hhouse, my dad picks it ALLLL up and throws it in my bed...it sucks because i need my bed to sleep!!!!
i would reccomend talking to him about how you are feeling. he will understand where you are coming from...he might not show it, but he will.
i also like being rewarded when i do chores...not diciplined if i dont do them...does that make sense..??
dont take away every single thing that he has. because he will just get mad at you and not do stuff...but reward him if he does do his chores...like let him go hang out with friends and such...
and no matter what..he will never he the perfect child who does everything without being asked...
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