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How do i discipline twins...

How do i discipline twins aged 4 and a 9 yr old that arent mine.?

I have recently got involved with a woman with 3 children who are disobedient and have no respect for there mum.

Me personally i was brought up with a firm background and i feel i know how to go about disciplining the children but want some back up advice that what im doing is right.
Mum is soft who will argue all day with them and i cant help but feel that a good firm smack and telling them why they got a smack will save the aggro of months of bull**** listening and explaining....advice please..ps i do have time to talk to them and do otherways but i want them to be intelligent and have respect before 16.

1 comment:

Mark Hutten, M.A. said...

This is a difficult one, and from the sound of your question, it is a problem you would like to solve. The most important thing in my view is that you both agree on tactics, and stick to them. The danger is that you can spend a hell of a lot of time talking about it, and this in turn creates another problem, in that it becomes more of a focus than building your relationship with your partner. Children always create problems, especially at the ages you mention. I really would not suggest smacking them-not that I don't believe a good clout ever did any harm under some circumstances. but these children haven't been used to that so I think it would be wtong to introduce it as it would affect your relationship with their mother ,and they would see you as the bad guy.You could try excluding them from trips to the park, watching the TV, sweets, or staying up. Really the only option you have is to get the agreement of your partner to suspend privileges, withdraw treats, and stick to what you say. I wish you luck in your quest, remember that the children need to learn now that respect has to be earned, even at their ages, and yet you must make sure that you are respected. If they don't start showing some to you and their mother now, then you are creating a problem for later years. I hope you can resolve all the issues together with your partner, because they are important issues that affect the future of all of you. You are wise to seek the advice of others on a forum like 'Answers' because you can maybe find a little help from a number of people. I hope it all turns out well for all of you.