Online Parent Support Chat

What are your preferred parenting skills?

How old are your children and what are your house rules? How do you punish them? Generally, how do you bring up your children?

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Anonymous said...

I'm seventeen and in my not so humble opinion, a great kid. I blame my parents entirely for this, lol.

I can't really think of any specific rules in our house, it's more that we don't do things that are illegal, dangerous, or disrespectful.

When we were little, my mom would "catch" us doing good or nice things, and we would get a positive consequence, a little extra attention, and an explanation of what we did that was good.

If we did something wrong, we got a negative consequence, no extra attention, and an explanation of why what we did was wrong, how it affects the people around us, and how we can do better in the future.

We were never "punished" as my mom feels that the word "punished" implies some sort of retaliation, rather than a teaching thing. We are rarely (well actually, never) disciplined any more, as we don't do things that would require discipline.

My mom learned really early that explaining things made everything a lot easier and faster.

My mom always made it clear that we could talk to her about anything, and she is always completely honest with us. Whenever we ask questions, she answers them honestly and to the best of her ability, using age appropriate language.

She treats us with respect, and we do the same for her. Our opinions are never dismissed because of our age. If we disagree with the way something is done, we are encouraged to bring it up and discuss things, so that we can come to a fair compromise.

We make our own basic decisions, and have since we were very young. We feel trusted, and we work hard to maintain that trust.

I also trust my parents and my sister completely. Snooping of any kind is out of the question. My mom specifically told us that if something is bothering us, or we want her to know something, we have to tell her. We can't just write it in our diary and hope she'll find it, because she won't. That trust is vital.

My mom always said that she believes that the job of a parent is to *guide* his or her children into becoming the best people they can be. She believes that each generation should improve on the previous generation's teaching style, but honestly, I'm not sure how I'm going to do that. ^_^

Basically, my mom's parenting style revolved around love, respect, and trust.

My mom is my best friend. A lot of people say that a parent cannot be their child's best friend, but I disagree. Part of being a good friend is helping your friend to become an even better person, and that's what parenting is all about. My mom wouldn't be a good friend if she let me grow up into a spoiled brat.

I love my mom, and I think she's pretty much as great and amazing as a person can get. She is my role model, and I strive to be a better person because I know it will make her proud. She is everything a mother should be and I would never change a single thing about her, or her parenting style.

Anonymous said...

14 years old and 16 months

House rules are to help with chores, which she is paid for weekly, no chores no money, no backchat,
if backchat a warning system is in place, 2 warnings,
3rd warning something is taken away, phone,comp etc
4th warning she is sent to her room,
5th warning she is grounded for the night with nothing!

if she then was to carry on the grounding would continue into days there after!
obviously there are times where that system does not get used, if she shouts or is abusive then she will not get a warning as she knows its not acceptable, so does not need to be warned!!

Youngest will be the good old naughty step and distraction, reward the good ignore the bad,
any attention is better than no attention lol

Oh and consistency! thats the hardest one of all especially with a teenage daughter who tries the patience of saints!!

Anonymous said...

My children are 6, 9 , and 11. The rules are that i know where they are at ALL times. If i dont know where they are they will not go again. They are required to keep their rooms neat, bring dirty laundry to the laundry room, eat at meal times, do their homework, and obey all laws. There is no stealing, lying, drugs, alcohol, smoking, or disrespect allowed in my home by anyone for any reason. And the number 1 rule is they WILL behave in school and public. Punishments in our home include loss of priveledges, time out, manual labor, and volunteer work at an organization to fit the "crime". Many people like the "spanking" method. I tried it. Im not a good person when I spank (i have anger issues when i try and thats not appropriate so i avoid physical discilpine and parents can feel free to thumbs down me for that But i will NOT abuse my children and for me personally spanking is not a good thing). We dont discuss bad behavior without discipline and we dont "ask" our children to follow the rules. Open threats isnt parenting. True discipline and consistent rules is parenting.

Anonymous said...

My kids are 21, 20, 17 and 9. The eldest two have fled the nest. I punish my kids by removing their treats, 'fining' them with their pocket money, and confining them to their room, WITHOUT the TV and Playstations etc. I never punish my kids physically and as much as they're punished, they are also rewarded and we discuss things. They've not been perfect kids and I'm not the perfect parent, but they've turned out ok. They're not trouble causers and don't bring trouble home. I've instilled manners, consideration for others and the importance of family. We're very close and I'm extremely proud of all of them.

Anonymous said...

well, they have to do quite a bit of housework like ironing and hoovering. there 14 and 16 and ive increased the amount of housework they do over the years.

the 16yr old doesnt really have a curfew, she can ask me a time and if its reasonable for the thing shes doing i'll say yes. the 14yr olds in 7:00, she moans its too early but i cant trust her to go where she says shes going so until i can, i wont make it later so she cant go get drunk in a feild somwhere.

they get grounded and confined to there rooms if they do something really bad, or if its not bad i give them more houswork.

they work for all the money they get by doing housework unless theyve achieved something like gettin an A in an exam then they get extra.

i like to think im a good, fair mother, i only give them these rules to protect them.