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14yr old daughter is out of control...

i have 7 children from 3 to 16yrs old. my 14yr old daughter is out of control. everytime she is asked to clean up after herself or do anything she starts off crying which leads to abuse. she swears and calls names, says terrible things to her siblings like they are fat and ugly and that i dont love them. she says she hopes i die in an accident and screams uncontrollably like she is being murdered for hours. she follows me around the house ranting and wont stay in her room, and when she is in her room she smashes holes in the wall. she gets physically violent hitting me with objects and has attacked her stepfather. these outbursts can last for days non stop. we had her admitted to a mental health unit at one stage for 3 days and they said she has possible odd. the last episode we called the police and she told them we abuse her and other terrible things, she is quite an actress and i am not sure if they believed us. she hasnt gone to school! for nearly a year claiming she cant as she gets picked on and the school end up calling me to take her home as she is hysterical in the office and unreasonable. she ended up beating the head bully but still says she cant go to school. the only thing she is disciplioned with is her dancing which she does 3 or 4 days a week. she is quite good. last outburst i had enough as i was bruised and sore and couldnt take any more so i took her phone and playstation (after repeated warning) and threw them away. she screamed so badly the nieghbours complained. i then told her dance teacher she will not be going to her concert and why. my daughter is devistated they know and said she will never face them again and wishes she was dead as she has nothing to live for. did i do the right thing? i think i should see how her behaviour goes and let her dance the concert. i dont know what to do as this is affecting my whole family and my 16yr old wants to leave home because of this.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You must make rules and stick to them. If she does not hold the rules then punish her, You must let her know that you are not just a friend but her dad and that you love her.

Anonymous said...

give her choices but make her think they are her choices example use you have this choice or the big word is or this choice. my son picks the one he thinks is going to be easier but in reality it is my choices i gave him

Anonymous said...

I kind of knwo where you are with this problem- my 14 yr. old is also full of resentment-- but now when I tell her No-- No matter what all I have to deal with as far as reprocussions- I choose to stick to it-- it may not be a bad idea to start looking into some sort of bootcamp for girls-- if for nothing else than to teach her how good she once had it, & also to stop her from setting a bad example for your other children-- if they see her get by with it, there's no telling what they may try later on... Good luck

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she has some rage and anger problems. Get her to counseling immediately!