Online Parent Support Chat

Mother in the middle...

What do you do when your oldest daughter and her father don't / can't work out anything and you as the mother are in the middle?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

My husband and my 13-year-old son butt heads constantly. I swear they'd argue about what color the dang sky is! I've taken to saying in a sing-song voice "Why are we arguing over stupid stuff that makes no difference in life as we know it" or, if I've really had it...I have occasionally shouted, while glaring at my husband, "Will ONE of you PLEASE be the adult for awhile?!"

In all seriousness, I've talked it over with my husband and one of those above sayings helps to nudge him a little bit and make him realize he's doing it again, and for the most part even when I'm really frustrated it's all done in a good-natured fashion.

Teenagers argue, and they think they know everything. That doesn't make arguing with a parent okay, but it's certainly understandable behavior. I'd definitely try talking it over with your husband, because as the adult he needs to not descend to that level.

If all else fails...video or tape record them while they're going at it...and then play it back for them. =)

Anonymous said...

to be honest theres not much u can do but it may help if he doesnt do anything but listen and give suggestions to what she has to say and this may warm her up to him a little at least it will open the door to let her know that he is willing to listen without always being against her.

Anonymous said...

Well i suggest you sit with them on a table and discuss this matter. Both of them are wrong and probably hurting your feelings because you are in the middle and love them both. I think your daughter has to understand that she has to respect your husband no matter if his not her real father he has supported you both and has been there. Also i think his wrong because he should take care of the situations in a better way not go head to head with your daughter. She is only 14 years old and usually kids that age are a little ignorant.They usually live in the you are ruining my life stage so its a little difficult but with a little communication and love i think things will get better and your family will be stronger and closer