Online Parent Support Chat

Grandmothers Making (raising) Irresponsible Parents?

Are Grandmothers Making (raising) Irresponsible Parents?????????
When they want to do everything with their grand/daughter/son?
When they want to keep them 24-7 therefore leaving the parent with no responsibility? Buying them everything and not teaching them any value?
Babysitting for the parents, when they are doing nothing and watching t.v all day long?

How can I end this...

Hi......I have a 16yr old daughter, who refuses to listen to anything I say. She will not get up for school, she takes off when I am sleeping or just laughs in my face when I say anything. I try to get her dad to help, but he never has time. I have done everything but put my hands on her. How can I end this every single day fight.

Daughter is out of control...

my daughter is out of control and doesnt listen to me or her father, what do i do?

im trying to help her...

ok my friend who is staying with me, and her 2 kids ages 5 and 8 who SCREAM at the top of there lungs when its bedtime....im trying to help her move into an apartment, long story, but i have 2 other tenants here, and i dont need any trouble please help !!!!!!

Question about Step-children?

My fiance and I have three children total. I have one son from a previous relationship and he has two daughters. We have his daughters every weekend, but we are making a transition to having is oldest here permanently. My son and his oldest daughter are the same age and in the same class at school.

The problem I'm having is this...all of our children are spoiled rotten. We both have given each other permission to punish all the children as we see fit. Tonight his daughter was crying to go to her granmother's house and he would not give in. After she was asleep he came in and told me that she was just too spoiled. I agreed and told him that it was our fault because she has been living with her grandmother since before we got together. He went completely off on me! Asked how dare I call his child spoiled when mine is just as bad. But the thing is I simply agreed with him!! I did not say anything other than what he had already said and it started a HUGE argument!

She became a real pain...

My now 14 yr. old daughter has been seeing a boy for past 7 mths. - her whole attitude changed & she became a real pain to deal with, after he had really shown his true colors at her birthday party 3 wks. ago- I explained my concerns, which lead to a very defensive conversation on her part & she ending up yelling at me in his defense-- in turn I explained that she could now only see him at school, but that she will no longer see or speak to him outside of school-- & 3 weeks later- the fight still rages on-- she is so angry with me.. I dated a boy just like him when I was her age until I was 17, she had made it clear that she had no intentions of ending the relationship on her own- so after I had my declaration of no longer allowing her contact with him outside of school- she chose to break it off. Am I wrong? In the meantime, she has a bestfriend that is a boy whom the entire family adores- & who is absolutely crazy over her- & she him to! o- I think, but still rebelling against my forcing ehr hand with the EX, she won't give the little guy a chance & continues to lead him around like a lost puppy-- I feel so bad for him & so angry with her.. Have i meddled too much? HELP

Risk of failing...

my son is ok at home, doesn't do any work in school and is at risk of failing 9th grade. no amount of praise/discipline/coordinated effort with school is having an effect. any suggestions?

Any points?

My daughter's not obeying me. Any points? Please listen now. My daughter is not obeying whatever i tell her. Please help me.

14yr old daughter is out of control...

i have 7 children from 3 to 16yrs old. my 14yr old daughter is out of control. everytime she is asked to clean up after herself or do anything she starts off crying which leads to abuse. she swears and calls names, says terrible things to her siblings like they are fat and ugly and that i dont love them. she says she hopes i die in an accident and screams uncontrollably like she is being murdered for hours. she follows me around the house ranting and wont stay in her room, and when she is in her room she smashes holes in the wall. she gets physically violent hitting me with objects and has attacked her stepfather. these outbursts can last for days non stop. we had her admitted to a mental health unit at one stage for 3 days and they said she has possible odd. the last episode we called the police and she told them we abuse her and other terrible things, she is quite an actress and i am not sure if they believed us. she hasnt gone to school! for nearly a year claiming she cant as she gets picked on and the school end up calling me to take her home as she is hysterical in the office and unreasonable. she ended up beating the head bully but still says she cant go to school. the only thing she is disciplioned with is her dancing which she does 3 or 4 days a week. she is quite good. last outburst i had enough as i was bruised and sore and couldnt take any more so i took her phone and playstation (after repeated warning) and threw them away. she screamed so badly the nieghbours complained. i then told her dance teacher she will not be going to her concert and why. my daughter is devistated they know and said she will never face them again and wishes she was dead as she has nothing to live for. did i do the right thing? i think i should see how her behaviour goes and let her dance the concert. i dont know what to do as this is affecting my whole family and my 16yr old wants to leave home because of this.

How do I get it through her head?

My 7 year year old is being very disrespectful. I need some ideas to show her that it is not right to disrespect people. Talking to her is not working. Does anyone have any ideas?

She doesnt have anything else to take away. I have taken everything I can from here. I just need to find a creative way to get it through her head. I have talk to her and that just doesnt seem to work.

Daughter's boyfriend moves in...

Do you know anyone that let their daughter's boyfriend move in? My 18-year-old friend's parents let her boyfriend move in. My friend is a high school dropout. My friend and her mother are Conservative Born-Again Christians so I don't get it.

I normally wouldn't care but my friend makes negative remarks about her older half-sister being a single mom.

She and her boyfriend share a room.

Myspace

According to CNN.com a 13 year old girl made friends with a guy named Josh....he later broke off their friendship and she commited suicide the next day....come to find out Josh was made up but they know that it was someone affliacted with the girl...........Do you think Myspace is too advanced for children under 16......what are your views on Myspace and the other websites like it?

Mother in the middle...

What do you do when your oldest daughter and her father don't / can't work out anything and you as the mother are in the middle?

Teen threatening to kill parents...

Does anyone know of any legal organisations that will take a case for an out of control teen threatening to kill his parents? Talking from the parents perspective. Does no one care about parental safety? I understand the child protection means that the child is the main priority, which is only right. But I'm wondering what legal stance we have if our Son is threatening to kill us. Do we have to wait until we become a statistic before something is done?

What's a step mother to do?

My husband's exwife recently send their 13 yr old son to live with us because she couldn't "take it anymore". Come to find out he was failing every class and had in school suspension for "paraphaneila" on the bus. It has been hell the last 2 weeks with him. Found out he was dx with A.D.D. over a year ago but there has been no intervention. My husband doesn't want to "label" him and doesn't want to "medicate" him. But I am the one at school every day and I am the one doing homework with him every night. What's a step mother to do?

Consequences and punishments mean nothing to them...

I have an 18 yo son who is a senior in high school who refuses to get a job, go to school, follow the rules or stop smoking pot with his friends in my house. My 17 yo daughter is a co-hort in all this as well. I also have a 13 yo son who is drug counseling to get him to stop smoking pot (his older siblings apparently started him on this) but they continue to have their friends in my house when I am at work and when my 13 yo is home. The 13 yo calls me at work to tell me of this. I call home to tell them to get everyone out. Then they retaliate on the 13 yo both mentally and physically. I am at the end of my rope with these two and don't know what to do. Consequences and punishments mean nothing to them. Any advice would be grateful.
Thanks!
Tina

Ditching a class...

My son is ditching a class called Access, which is designed for students that are failing. He refuses to go and says its not worth his time. He is 16 and parents are divorced. Any suggestions?

How do u get ur kids to listen to you?

my kids are 2 and 3 but they absolutely refuse to listen to me. i have tried time out, spanking taking privileges away... nothing seems to be working. got any suggestions?

Teenager hates school...

Teenager hates school ...won't do her work ...says she don't give a shit ...very
saucy.

My Space

Read my son's web "my space" ...after 3 hours finally came clean ...A gal he knows is cutting and suicidal ...Her post was 5 days ago but consistent over last several months. She attends a different school ...have only a first name but know the school.
NOW WHAT?

I know he can be a good kid...

Let me start by telling you a little bit about my son. He is 16 years old. He gets excellent grades. He finished up last year with a 4.3 and he currently has straight A's in school (taking all honor/college prep classes). I know he can be a good kid...I have seen it before. I know he has a good head on his shoulders and knows the difference between right and wrong. As soon as he turned 16, he got a job all on his own. He is a hard dedicated worker. He bought himself a car and makes the payments on it.

These are the problems we have been having lately. We know he is having sex. We know he is giving a recieving oral sex before, during, and after school. We know he is drinking alcohol. He is driving his car at speeds well over 100mph. He won't follow any rules around here......from simple things like sending a text message when he gets somewhere safely.to feeding his own dog (he let the dog starve while we were out of town for 3 days)...to.....well he just won't follow any rules at all! He thinks the rules are stupid! He can't understand why we have rules. We try to tell him he will have rules throughout his entire life....he doesn't get that.....says he does fine without rules when we are gone. He admits that he has no conscience....he says to have a concience....you have to care about things...he doesn't care. The things he says are scarey.......to put it mildly. He does as he pleases...when he pleases. He has told us he is here to make himself happy and that is it! That ! is all that matters. Yes, I DO want him to be happy! But not like this! Not dead on the highway.....or drunk somewhere doing who knows what.......or ruining his future by a pregnancy......or who knows.

I am so worried. I really don't know what to do. Everything you try to tell him....he turns it back around on you....it is so hard to talk to him.....nothing is his fault....nothing is his responsibility....he is a smart kid.....smart and manipulative.....

I'm at a loss......just basically floating around in fear of what I will find out next. Is there any advice you can give me????

I also have a daughter. She will be 18 next month. Totally the opposite of my son. How did that happen?

Thanks for listening :0) <<>>> Pattie

No solid food...

My 3yr old daughter not yet started solid food...tried hard, she wants to eat but cant eat enough...even cant swallow solids, started going to school...Im worried what to
do...how to start...TRIED HARD. THANX Mom.

I DO NOT CARE...

I hope some one can help me out. I have a 15 yr old son. He don't like to have rules let alone follow them. His main saying is I DO NOT CARE.

Problems with my 18 yr old daughter...

For the past couple of months I been having problems with my 18 yr old daughter. She been sneeking around seeing a guy. For some reason she would not bring the guy home to meet her father and myself. This past weekend she left home and did not return. We filed a missing person report. She came home while her father and I was at work to pack up her belongings. I knew she was seeing someone that was up to no good. I now thinks she is using drugs. I gave her a choice to leave the state to visit relatives. We took her to the airport, but she never made it to the other state. Somehow she retrieved her suit case and was on the run again. Any suggestions?

Defiant and resentful...

I have a 15 year old daughter that is completely defiant and resentful. She blames herself for her dad and I being divorced (when she was 2) and she "hates" her dad right now. She is really up and down in the emotional department with me. I am actually in the middle of a custody suit to regain physical custody of her. She has been living with me and my husband for going on 6 years (shelived with her dad for about 2 years). She is using very foul language to my face, throwing objects, and removing herself from anything that has to do with spending time with any other than her friends unless we make her. She is now on meds and sees a psychologist. She tells me he doesn't help, but he tells me that she talks about lots of things when they are in session. She was also molested by a neighbor in her dads house when she lived with him and waited to tell me over the summer when she came to visit. I know she has a lot going on, but she shows no respect, no organization, no responsibility, and she lies habitually. I am suppose to start teaching her to drive in a few weeks and at this point I am not even willing to do that because I cannot trust her anymore. I will say that she has 6 A's, 1 B and 1 C which is good, so she is carrying good grades. I just don't know what to do and I need help.

Thank you for listening.

Was this the right way to control my son?

I have an nineteen month old toddler, whom I stay at home with all of the time, he's not in daycare. Last night, I was sitting on the couch beside him and he was lying down because he had felt sick all weekend (stomach virus). He then got up, walked over to me, put his mouth on my arm and bit down as hard as he could it left teeth imprints and even a small rash the next day. I pulled him off of my arm, told him firmly "no you don't bite" took him to his room with the lights off and closed the door. That is the only form of time out I can use, it actually works. Then a few minutes later, I went to his room, he came out and I told him "you don't bite, that hurts, do you understand" he just sniffled and I kept repeating until he looked me in the eyes to let him know I was serious. Then he walked into the living room, laid on the couch, I ignored him and began cleaning the kitchen, and he fell asleep. Did I do this right? I was stunned, but hope he doesn't repeat this behavior. Advice?

WHAT DO I SAY

WHAT DO I SAY...

Short version: 11th grader has been exhibiting what I would describe as familiar behaviors after reading the board here: increasing isolation, increased entitlement issues, increasing under achieving, violent outbursts, depression, some obsessive personality. We have struggled with definiing exactly what is normal teenage angst and what would be real problem. Within the last 7 months these behaviors escalated,incredibly. Violent outburst because verbal abuse, then property abuse and now we have had 3 incidents of physical abuse that are escalating in nature. We started outside intervention with counselor/mentor situation after 2nd but obviously we waited too long. Last night, his physical attack resulted in councelor recommending him for involuntary commitment (we did not want to press legal charges).

Please understand, I am operating on no sleep and am emotionaly exhausted and feeling really lost. 2nd counselor (ER assessment) also recommend commitment after seeing! interaction. Both counselors and ER doc felt that this would be a very temp situation for a much need psyche evaluation and would also service to get the family in safe place while setting up necessary intensive support services for him to come home. He is a very good kid but the concern is the impulse control he is losing.

Intake at facility he was admitted to did not go well, I guess the Dr was not at his best at 5:30 in the AM but he went from absolutely refusing to admitting him to telling son that he will be here for (2) weeks at minimum.

The plan was to use the 2-3 the needed evaluation as well as find a local respit home that could accept him when things seemed to escalate here at home. (He has no problems in school, other than wanting to skate through just doing homework, so counselor really did not want to upset this dynamic.) Also, those targeted including son would begin individual and also whole family begin family therapy. (We were just beginning the family therapy before this incident).

I was told son would be permited to call me this AM, which he did and he is in a state of panic. I just kept telling him that we love him, we miss him and are looking forward to having him come home soon. He understands (now) that we all need to make changes. <>

I can't make him feel good about this situation but I am trying to encourage him to be honest and candid during his evaluation tomorrow AM.Current counselor and ER Councelor have both stated they would call evaluator tomorrow AM to give their observations. I am also telling him to be cooperative with staff and learn the rules and apply them. I've talked to his nurse twice now and she states he is doing better.

My question: I want what is best for my whole family (husband, siblings, self) as well as him. I do not want to lie to him and I definately do not want him to think he is going through this alone. But I do not want to give him false hope especailly given what the intake DR told him. And that is the problem, he is wanting me to tell him I'm going to fix it and make everything all right. Does anybody have any words of encouragement that I can share with him while we take this one day at a time?

What should teachers be allowed to do...

I'm a teacher at Southside Middle School in CA. What should teachers be allowed to do and/or not do to discipline students. Do you think teachers have enough rights to discipline or have these rights been taken away? Do student rights prevent proper discipline?

Mad Mom

i, at times, hit out in anger at my two girls under six years of age ...help

What to do about him and trouble at school?

My son's 5 years old & in kindergarten. He's been in daycare his whole life. When he was going to daycare he was always getting in trouble for acting out, not minding, bothering & hitting other kids. Now he's in school & he's had to go to the principal's office more than once & had to sit out of recess as well as have detention. He sometimes won't pay attention during class.(twirling around, falling out of his chair repeatedly & so forth) He also plays rough w/kids...pushing, hitting, etc & that's why he has to go to the office. Him & I talk about this ALL the time & he gets grounded, his toys taken away, etc. It doesn't seem to help. I don't understand why he won't behave so he can stay out of trouble. He's a sweet boy(i know it probably doesn't sound like it) but he is. He's happy & pretty much always stays in a good mood. He's pretty hyper though, always bouncing & running around. He's always on the move & he has a hard time minding me as well so it's not just at school.

ADHD

Both of my brothers are ADHD and me and my sisters may be borderline, though we've never been diagnosed with it. It's good to diagnose it, I think, because even if you don't medicate for it, you can discuss your child's learning patterns with their teachers. (For me, I was always getting in trouble in church and school, because I would draw during lessons, which would actually focus my mind on what the teacher was saying. But teachers would get the opposite idea and take away my pencil and paper, and reprimand me for not paying attention.....and as soon as they did that, my brain would wander off, not having anything to focus on.)

ATTITUDE PROBLEM

I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT MY SON AND HIS ATTITUDE PROBLEM ..HE WILL NOT LISTEN WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO DO SOMETHING ...HE STARTS YELLING AND HITTING THINGS ...CLOSES DOORS REAL HARD ...SAYS WE ARE NOT HIS PARENTS AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH US ...WHAT CAN I DO?

He doesn't come home...

What is a appropriate punishment for a teenager who doesn't come home at night?